tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-51170100902778865822024-03-13T11:58:23.575-07:00for such a time as this.Holly Sullivan Jarchowhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16363157548552109883noreply@blogger.comBlogger42125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5117010090277886582.post-33592895788572732015-01-12T22:52:00.001-08:002015-01-12T23:03:20.647-08:00au revoir<div style="color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px;">
<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">I took two years of French in high school.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Although it was a small class, it was neat to not only learn a new language, but feel pretty prestigious once I realized I knew the meaning behind a lot of the character names and songs in <i>Beauty and the Beast</i>. Thankfully, my "visual learner" kicked in and helped me in my test taking, but unfortunately learning a new language is more than just being able to read and write it. Ya gotta speak it at some point. Which also wasn't too bad until we got to the dreaded French "r". The perfect blend of sounding like you need to both clear your throat and spit at the same time. It's actually beautiful really. But only when people who are French say it.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">One phrase in particular always gave me an exceedingly amount of trouble: "au revoir", the French words for goodbye. It starts and ends with that stupid and beautiful "r" leaving my throat super dry. It's funny what tiny details your mind remembers about the past.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">______________</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Today was the first day of my last semester of college.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Considering I'm still trying to figure out what those words mean put together, one thing I do have figured out is that a lot is about to happen in life over the next few months. And when you have six hours of driving to get to school you can't help but think about it.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Saying goodbye to my family for a pretty good while.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Saying hello to a new family. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Leaving the familiar streets of T-Town.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Learning the streets, shortcuts, and city of Jonesboro.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Crying as I move boxes out of Shores 308 and living with some of my favorite friends ends.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Living with the love of my life, and starting at the beginning learning the lives of new people. </span></div>
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<span style="color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.701961); font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: small;">The closer I get to all this change, I'm realizing this is the semester of "au revoir". And what "au revoir" means is almost as hard as the word itself is to say.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">But why? What makes a goodbye hard and why is it so difficult for us? Is it because whatever it was is over and we know we didn't do all we should have? Or maybe because we're hugging the necks, or closing the casket, of people we didn't say all the things we wanted to? Or maybe it's because this season and situation of our lives we've finally learned to manage/manipulate/control is about to change once again. We're about to have to uncomfortably learn something new. We're about to have to hand over the driver's seat of our future and feel the growing pains of failure once more. We're about to need help again. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">But if I've learned much of anything as my person has grown over the last 4 years, it's that this is the rhythm of living life. Especially the Christian one.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Waving goodbye so that you can say hello to something/someone else.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Closing chapters so that you can start a different one (maybe this next one will be your favorite one yet). </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Dying to your old self so that you can begin making room for and learning the new you. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">So if you're in a season of saying goodbye like me, maybe there's nothing weird about it. It's sad sometimes. But not uncommon. It's just the rhythm of life and we'll soon be saying goodbye to the things we're now saying hello to. Change is constant and that fact by itself only solidifies in my mind that I should never cling too tightly.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">Saying goodbye may never come naturally but it will also never go away. Because even though right now we're traveling on a road that leads us farther and farther away from what we feel is home, it's also the road that takes us deeper into knowing ourselves. And once we get there, the adventure begins.</span></div>
Holly Sullivan Jarchowhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16363157548552109883noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5117010090277886582.post-50082042132415847122014-11-14T14:49:00.000-08:002014-11-14T14:54:07.473-08:005 things I loved about the last 7 daysThis semester I'm taking a class called Children's Literature.<br />
Yes, it's a real class, and yes you should take it.<br />
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This semester in general I've gotten more stress acne than I have my entire life combined (Mom you would not believe). If you know me at all you know it takes quite a bit for this girl to make enough tears to fall and I have cried at least 5 puddles from feeling overwhelmed (another post for another day).<br />
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Child's Lit. is 2.5 hours in my week where I can find a little calm. In the class we have to do book talks, literature circles, author studies, and read 60 children's books that span across all genres from non fiction picture books to graphic novels.<br />
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Last class we came across <a href="http://mrcolbysharp.com/2014/11/07/5-things-i-loved-about-the-last-7-days-11714/">this blog</a> by a teacher who every now and again lists his favorite things from his week as a teacher. He calls it, "5 Things I Loved About the Last 7 days." That Thursday I was especially spread thin (so naturally I was spending the majority of the class studying for an Anatomy test). Hearing Dr. Smith say the title of the blog alone made me put down Neurology and decide, "It's time to let myself breathe for a minute." The past 2 weeks I've been in a fog of to-do lists, hurried conversations, and running on the fumes of caffeine. But that Thursday's class quickly brought me back down to planet Earth and I re-learned what I so desperately needed to be reminded of: I haven't taken the time to be thankful in a pretty good while. I've thanked God for a lot of things. But I haven't let thankfulness be the posture of my whole day in months. I've let my busy-ness dictate how I treat other people and the amount of grace I extend to myself. And I've let myself get so tired I haven't completed a prayer before bed, just me and God, in I can't tell you how long. My eyes never let me make it that far.<br />
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So I decided. It's time to make a list of 5 things I loved about the last 7 days.<br />
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Now don't let me fool you. There are grad school applications to fill out/pay for, a book to write, a term paper to start, an EchoLecture to watch, an Audiology notebook to complete, and therapy lesson plans to get together. But I'm choosing to let myself breathe for a minute and I'm about to thank God for a few ways He told me He loved me this week.<br />
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1.) My roommates and I made a last minute dinner decision to treat ourselves to some Mi Pueb on Tuesday. We ate like usual but ended up sitting in our booth for almost two hours talking and laughing about Freshman year and the ridiculousness all of our memories entail. We remembered the first times we all met and were in awe of just how different we are leaving Harding than we were when we got here. I don't know that I even remember that Holly that well.<br />
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2.) Cierra and I had to get a couple of things at Wal-Mart Wednesday night after devo and I found something that changed my life: red velvet cupcake coffee creamer. Ok, maybe it hasn't change my <b>life</b>, but it has changed my morning. Drastically.<br />
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3.) I got a note in the mail from our wedding photographer, Jon Yoder, about how excited he is for our wedding and how thankful he is we chose him to document such an important day. So kind. (Also, 190 days, but who's counting?)<br />
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4.) Hearing my dad say, "You're best is good enough." He always knows.<br />
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5.) I'm doing an Honor's contract for my Children's Lit class and Dr. Smith and I decided at the beginning of the semester it would be great if I could create a children's book incorporating my major (Speech Path) with elements of children's literature. And so, I'm in the process of creating a children's book about a little boy named Garrison facing his first day of school with an unrepaired cleft lip. Last night I was typing the story into a template and I came across the page where it asks for the author to type who the book is dedicated to. I thought about dedicating it to the clients I've had in the clinic, for all the times they're reminded me that simplicity is the best of life's joys. But, I decided against it once another little nugget came to mind. I decided to dedicate it to a special kiddo who has taught me eons about overcoming weakness and trekking on: Joel. It makes me proud to have his name on my book. That's probably my favorite of the five.<br />
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So there they are. Five little beauties from my week.<br />
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Try it! It gets difficult to narrow it down to 5 once you get going.<br />
<br />Holly Sullivan Jarchowhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16363157548552109883noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5117010090277886582.post-16443530471465047792014-08-05T08:11:00.001-07:002014-08-05T08:13:52.521-07:00Week 6: Sovereign<div style="text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-size: x-small;">“I will give you the treasures of darkness and the hoards in secret places, that you may know that it is I, the Lord, the God of Israel, who call you by your name.”</span></div>
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Isaiah 45:3</div>
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<b>July 20, 2014</b></div>
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This morning we went to Farm church for our last Sunday
here. Farm church is a house church about 20 minutes away attended by all kinds
of farmers in the area. There are tobacco farmers, vegetation farmers, dairy
farmers, you name it, they’re represented. Everyone there is white but they’re
South African or Zimbabwean or native to Africa in some way. The house where
everyone meets is on a plantation owned by Sam and Fiona. They used to only
meet every 6 weeks or so but recently they’ve started meeting every week.
Meagan said sometimes she’ll go and there will be a lot of people and sometimes
she’ll go and there will only be 2. So when we pulled up today there were 6 people;
1 leading the service and 5 in the seats. It was funny realizing we nearly
doubled their attendance. We got there and sang a little and then Sam talked
about what he’d been learning from a book he’s been reading. I say “talked”
instead of “preached” because that’s what it was. More of a talking discussion
rather than a lecture. It was inclusive and simply an expression of the growth
and refining going on inside of Sam lately. Really a neat way to do church.<o:p></o:p></div>
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His talk was about how the act of trusting God is a physical
choice we have to make. To trust God means to deny your feelings and
circumstances and choose to believe what you once believed to be true. Sam mentioned
a number of people from their congregation, most of whom are battling cancer,
and it just seemed like what church is supposed to be. Uplifting one another in
spirit and in prayer. After he talked he opened up the floor for anyone to say
anything they were wanting to say. A man who had cancer spoke up about how he
feels like once you realize the purpose for pain, it’s as though bad times are
actually considered good times. You relish them because you know you’re in a period
where you have nothing but God. It was pretty incredible hearing a man talk
about how if cancer is what ends his life, then hallelujah, but it’s not going
to change the living he wants to do before he goes. I took a ton of notes.<o:p></o:p></div>
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We went by town to get some things for lunch and came back
and made tilapia and vegetables. We ate and played a couple of games of Hand
and Foot before going to get the babies for our one-on-one time today. Meag is
letting us choose someone to spend the night with us which is so exciting.
Aubrey got Biggie, River chose Petra, and I had Joel. When we went to the
Havens to pick them up, the rest of the Haven 2 kids were (literally) barreling
out of the Haven 2 gate sprinting into our arms. I picked each one up and
squeezed the air out of their lungs hugging them so tight. It sounds crazy but
I’ve missed them after only two days. <o:p></o:p></div>
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We brought the ones we picked back to Meag’s and decided to
make a<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>home theater and watch Beauty and
the Beast. I sat Joel in our big chair while I went to get something to drink,
and when I got back he was looking at me and patting the seat beside him,
motioning that he wanted me to sit by him. Swoon.<o:p></o:p></div>
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We watched the movie and ate dinner all piled around
Meagan’s dinner table. It was a full house and I loved it. We put them in their
PJs and walked to Johnson church where Roy talked about marriage and how to keep
from making Samson mistakes in finding a partner. Pretty cool topic and he
presented it in such a hilarious way. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>He
makes these slideshows with all these pictures of students from around the
campus and some that are clearly from Google. Hi-larious. A guy wanted to be
baptized and after Roy asked for his confession, Roy prayed and thanked God for
open and receiving hearts. That struck me for some reason. I feel like I should
thank God for that more often.<o:p></o:p></div>
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When we got back, we made a pallet in our bedroom floor for
the babies since they all had already fallen asleep. We put them down and then
watched <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">12 Years a Slave </i>just us
girls. Holy cow. That movie wrecked me in every way possible.<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"> </b>It’s just a well-made movie first of
all, and then the story behind it is absolutely incredible. I mean we all went
to bed saying “Wow,” over and over.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Everyday since being really sick last week, has just been
better and better. I savor every joyful moment. With the babies, with Meag,
with living simply. I’m caught in between being excited to see my family and
Daniel, and never wanting to stop being here.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">July 21, 2014<o:p></o:p></b></div>
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This morning all the babies woke up around the same time as
us. I was able to pull Joel into bed with me for a little bit before having to
get ready. I love cuddly, still, morning babies. We fed them porridge before piling
them all in the bath. Cute as ever.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Meagan told us this morning we don’t have to stick with what
our scheduled Haven is for the week. We can spend time with whoever we want
since we only have 3 days left at the Havens. I was supposed to be in Haven 3
this week but I was really happy she said that because now I don’t feel so
frantic about only being able to spend short amounts of time with the kids as
our last time.<o:p></o:p></div>
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When we got to the Havens each of us interns decided we
wanted to be in language class. It was so much fun because they did all the fun
songs that I love so much. I was able to film some of them, which are priceless
treasures. Joel was so incredibly excited in class today like always. Since
we’ve spent so much time together he truly realizes who I am whenever I’m
around. Walking to language class this morning I came up beside him, grabbed
his hand, and he looked up, smiled from ear to ear, squeezed his eyes closed as
tight as he could, and kept putting our joined hands to his head and laughing.
I love Joel more than I know to say.<o:p></o:p></div>
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We ended the language class with a parachute activity and
the kids were beaming. They were so excited and everyone (but Vera, little
cranky pants) were squealing with pure delight. It was a great moment being
able to see complete <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>joy on each of
their faces.<o:p></o:p></div>
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After language class I went to see what the Haven 3 babies
were doing and held Patu for a little bit. When I went into the little baby
room, Meagan came in behind me and realized that Memory, a new 1.9 kg (4 pound)
baby, had an incredible fever. She took her temperature and it was 104.9
degrees Fahrenheit. Meag took her to the clinic to see what’s going on straight
away.<o:p></o:p></div>
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All the babies were heading to bath time so I went into the
kitchen and helped sort through beans to pick out bad ones. It’s just as
enjoyable to me being around the Aunties as it is the kids. Since all the kids
in Haven 3 were bathed and being put down for a nap, I went to Haven 1 and sat
with Aubrey for a little bit. I was able to start the goodbye process and hold
a couple of the little ones that I’ve grown to really love. The big boys were
so sweet and cuddly today and I’m happy to have that last memory of them. <o:p></o:p></div>
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I set up the hammock and Aubrey and I spent a couple hours
with Biggie, Joel, and Seth. I played a memory game with Seth again and again
while Aubrey, Biggie, and Joel were swinging. We were listening to music and
all of them were in really great moods. Seth and I were doing shapes and we got
into this silly game of yelling back and forth at each other what certain shapes
were. It was so cute hearing that little voice screaming, “WHAT IS THIS?” to
which I would answer, “SQUARE!” It was fun.<o:p></o:p></div>
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At 17:00 we left with Meag and went to check on our quilts
again. They’re almost finished and I’m so excited to get them in the next
couple of days. We came back, made quesadillas for dinner, and talked with Meag
for really long time while playing games. She had a bad day today with things
happening and missing her family and just the really sad parts of this
missionary life. I hadn’t seen her cry like that in a long time. It pains me
seeing her so sad but it’s important to see this side of this life too. I cry
every time I think about leaving her and here and this summer. I am so excited
to see my family but it doesn’t feel right leaving yet. Realizing that it’s
happening in 3 days is beginning to shift a lot inside of me and causing a
whole facet of emotions. <o:p></o:p></div>
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I’m not ready.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">July 22, 2014<o:p></o:p></b></div>
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This morning Aubs and I walked the trail before brewing some
coffee and packing our lunches for the day. When we got to the Havens I went
straight to Haven 3 to spend time before language class. Tomorrow is our last
day at the Havens but I’m really wanting to spend that day with Joel, so I’m
wanting to say goodbyes to the Haven 1 and 3 kids today.<o:p></o:p></div>
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When I walked into Haven 3 I was greeted by all the big kids
running around in the main room. Angel was speeding around on this push car and
Kent was by the door when I walked in so I scooped him up and we chased Angel
around and around. Kent was belly laughing and I could’ve cried. I sat with the
big ones for a little bit before leaving for language class. Meagan had left
for an emergency trip to Zimba for baby Memory. Her temperature is still the
same so Meagan rushed her to the hospital to get blood work done and to see
what’s going on with her little body.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Language class went much better than it did the last time
Meag wasn’t there. The kids were happy and pretty participatory. I went to help
with nsima time afterward and then walked over to Haven 1 to sit with the
Aunties and babies there for a little bit. I was able to do some goodbyes. I fed
Esther, rocked Zeke, and held little Oscar.<o:p></o:p></div>
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At intern lunch we had a full out picnic. We brought
blankets and sat under this big shady tree in a field behind Haven 1. We were
able to craft a surprise banner we’re making Meagan for her birthday since it’s
tomorrow. We want to surprise her with a birthday celebration, so hopefully
Memory will be doing better so we can have some fun with her on such a special
day.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I went to Haven 2 and got Reuben and Ella and we read a
couple of books and hit the swings for a good bit. We sang songs and laughed a
bunch. I really love those two. They definitely are the most adamant about
wanting to learn. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Afterwards I took them back to the buundus and sat with the
kids making dirt sand castles. Joel and Vera decided to try their hardest to
bury me alive by covering my skirt in dirt sand. They were just laughing and laughing
and so was I. When they got their snack I sat with the Aunties for a little
while. Ella managed to find my lap and we sang to each other. I love little
Ellastic.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I stole Joel away for a while and we went to sit on the
Haven 2 veranda and traced each others’ hands and drew in my notebook. I think
he got bored because after a while he stood up and waved goodbye as he turned
to walk away. I think that boy’s going to be just fine.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
After walking with him back to the buundus I went to Haven 1
to help with feeding. It was really neat that today was the last day helping
because usually when the babies are waiting on their food they’re screaming and
crying but today they were all in a chorus of laughter. While I was walking
back and forth, carrying the bowls from the kitchen into the main room all I
could do was laugh to myself at how bittersweet these moments are. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Meag was still in Zimba once 17:00 came around so we walked
back through the paddock one last time. It was just as beautiful as always. We
got back and started cooking some potato soup and began packing some things.
Meag got home and was extremely discouraged and ended up going back to her room
to unwind until dinner was ready. I hate that these bad days are happening so
close to when we leave. But I think the fact that we’re leaving could be one of
the contributing factors to the sadness.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
After a while Meag came back out and we had this awesome
homemade potato soup and played some games afterward with Lou. It was a lot of
fun but very obvious to all of us that it’s been a tiring day for Meag. When
Meag and Lou went to bed we decided to go onto the containers to look at the
stars one more good time. They’re just incredible.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p> <table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiIxR7XtPJhkZX7Z7VUlzZRI6Jss7SNaQpAbwEVXrl7XhjbH8yDyH7nXz8k6GmqEk74is976yJMrpdzArN29C5rZJcjsKgoCt5_8IZfiGZogXVTh9n9WKuSd6BJwDRyG5Ms_6UdlxYloCo/s1600/DSC_0175.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiIxR7XtPJhkZX7Z7VUlzZRI6Jss7SNaQpAbwEVXrl7XhjbH8yDyH7nXz8k6GmqEk74is976yJMrpdzArN29C5rZJcjsKgoCt5_8IZfiGZogXVTh9n9WKuSd6BJwDRyG5Ms_6UdlxYloCo/s1600/DSC_0175.JPG" height="211" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">If only I could capture it</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
</o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
When we got back we started decorating the kitchen for
Meag’s birthday with the banner we made at lunch today. We finished making her
gift, which is our favorite coffee mug with our funniest moments written on it.
It’s just weird doing things like packing and saying goodbyes. These days feel
so much like normal that I’m not ready to close it off. It just doesn’t feel
right. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
_________________________________________________________________<o:p></o:p></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">July 23, 2014<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
This morning River, Aubrey, and I woke super early to make a
surprise breakfast of champions to start off the day for Meag’s birthday. We
made biscuits, bacon, and eggs and she was totally surprised. She told us baby Memory
made it through the night and finally broke her fever. Meag said her first
birthday wish already came true in that baby girl didn’t die in the night. I’m
constantly reminded of how different this world is.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We pigged out and she left right away to go check on Memory
at Zimba Hospital. The other interns and I still had about an hour until we
needed to leave so we packed a little and finished our gifts to Meag since she
was out of the house. We walked to the Havens and made it just as language
class was starting. The kids participated really well despite the fact that
Meagan wasn’t there. After language class was nsima time and I fed Joel some
before going to Haven 1 to say some final goodbyes. The Aunties told me to sit
with them for a little bit while Katie and Oscar and Binwell crawled all over
my legs. After spending a while there, Aubrey and I went back to Haven 2 and
sat in the floor of the big boys room. All the kids were supposed to be napping
but undoubtedly none of them were, surprise surprise except not at all. They
were like swarming bees around us, all lined up on our legs from waist to toes.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Bina Franco came and got me and asked me to help her and
Susan cook lunch. She put me in charge of the tomato soup and egg and we had so
much fun laughing together. Aubrey joined us and we took a few pictures to
remember them. I so appreciate these two women who have made me feel welcomed
like a true friend. Bina Franco told us she’s sad we’re going and that she’ll
miss us. It makes me feel even better knowing that we were a help to more than
just the babies.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
After eating lunch together, Aubrey and I got Biggie, Seth,
and Joel and went to set up the hammock. Joel was in such a giggly mood to
where he was laughing so hard whenever I would tickle him, he was wheezing.
Love that sound.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhjD3NdR56i9wOwZhB63VPi5YpM44UNSAqfK311DFfs9uRnQ3BofUDo68OjiKTQcjSw9PzalsUN8Wu1iGwPbnHLEnTNI5AZjbpRHTsk7wvGAQbPopu_l96x94VCqXUmwVRlqHoDTv0pTIg/s1600/DSC_0187.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhjD3NdR56i9wOwZhB63VPi5YpM44UNSAqfK311DFfs9uRnQ3BofUDo68OjiKTQcjSw9PzalsUN8Wu1iGwPbnHLEnTNI5AZjbpRHTsk7wvGAQbPopu_l96x94VCqXUmwVRlqHoDTv0pTIg/s1600/DSC_0187.JPG" height="211" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Joel and Seth</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjWRECM8jl5HLuRHTy6aNILG1gquEYuXw6GEOZgPauyLxLLQ9QL2B4sYT_3MTDOgHSjKsNoLF1OCLjZlxpyg61zNu16dOWTC4xRHxt93rqfB3Urbejq6PndnVeY_qVJjFd7JUST18iDa4U/s1600/DSC_0202.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjWRECM8jl5HLuRHTy6aNILG1gquEYuXw6GEOZgPauyLxLLQ9QL2B4sYT_3MTDOgHSjKsNoLF1OCLjZlxpyg61zNu16dOWTC4xRHxt93rqfB3Urbejq6PndnVeY_qVJjFd7JUST18iDa4U/s1600/DSC_0202.JPG" height="211" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Biggie, Aubrey, Reuben (on Aubrey's back), Joseph, and Joel</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiax71uuZIMVZsPbrdeKj-p6EDABm68ZEG-yEoWELtda2pNMpyhUgbf1QXOcXzMM2im8fTnRIaWn7tXWPb_7pbUc9kk3P2AwbE9BD9kh6wIXiWFa4uyhS8o3Q0AfIxQ10rBc2Mq-xzRTYg/s1600/DSC_0203.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiax71uuZIMVZsPbrdeKj-p6EDABm68ZEG-yEoWELtda2pNMpyhUgbf1QXOcXzMM2im8fTnRIaWn7tXWPb_7pbUc9kk3P2AwbE9BD9kh6wIXiWFa4uyhS8o3Q0AfIxQ10rBc2Mq-xzRTYg/s1600/DSC_0203.JPG" height="211" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Joseph, Seth, Joel, and Reuben</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
We swung for a bit and Seth and I worked on letters and
matching the cards with the actual plastic letters. Joel was our helper and
liaison in handing Seth whatever it was he needed. Joseph and Reuben eventually
joined us and it gave me joy seeing them enjoy the hammock so much.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Joel and I went to the language class veranda to have some
one-on-one time. We pushed cars and played a throwing game with some beanbags
and a basket. He’s so much more outgoing, talkative, and constantly requesting
for things in his own way. I soaked up every second I could just looking at him
and watching him be so big and strong. I took him to the buundus so he could
get his drink and snack and then took him and a couple others to the swings.
Once they were tired of it we went back to the Haven 2 veranda where we traced
hands and scribbled. I wanted today to solely be for Joel. So I took every opportunity
I could to be with him.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It was time to start the dreaded trek to Haven 1 to start
saying goodbyes. I told Ba Pauline we were leaving and she said she was so sad
and that we were such a big help. Those kinds of words mean so much and Meagan
told us later that the Aunties wouldn’t offer a compliment like that freely. I
found Mamma and thanked her for letting us be a part of this as well as said my
final goodbye to Bina Mbombo, thanking her for everything. Farewells are just such
a hard thing for me because I know it is quite possible that I may never see
these people again. And it’s strange knowing that when you’re looking at that
person in the eyes trying to convey what they mean to you. It’s just impossible
when this place and the people in it mean so much. What do you say?<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
After the Haven 1 goodbyes I walked over to Haven 2 to give
good last hugs. I picked each child up one by one, gave them tight squeezes
telling each one I loved them. It’s so hard especially when you know they have
no clue what’s going on and will honestly forget who you are in two weeks max.
But I won’t forget them. I didn’t expect saying goodbye to Seth would be so
difficult for me but it really was. He’s such a good boy and he kept kissing me
on the cheek saying he loved me. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Holding and kissing Joel for the last time was just as
painful as I thought it would be and nothing I can say about it will convey it.
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I walked over to Haven 3 to tell Ba Cece goodbye. At first
she refused to hug us because she didn’t want to tell us goodbye but eventually
she gave in and told us how sad she was.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Pulling away from the Havens was like tearing off a Band-Aid
super glued to your skin. It hurt and I tried my hardest to memorize every
little thing I could about it as we drove away.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We went to Eric’s House to say goodbye to Jason and Cyn and
the Merritts. We picked up our quilts too and then once we got back to the
house we found Emmett sitting outside waiting to wish Meag a happy birthday. He
gave her this super awesome hammock as a gift and we set it up for her to try.
She loved it. We decided to make hamburgers tonight for dinner to celebrate and
Emmett ended up staying to help us cook. We made our own homemade french fries
and the whole thing was just so so yummy and comforting after a day like today. While eating, we hear this chorus of “Happy Birthday” beginning outside. Jason
and Cyn and Kathi along with all the Eric’s House boys surprised Meagan with a
cake. It was so sweet.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We said our goodbyes to Emmett and dreamed together about
any chance we might have to see each other again.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi9nH9bJoAcxq5TP0f9m1wdfDESVMVOg4Lab0a45eAm85m54omLnuEdMU-YeBX8hrbzURBg7XZUyUPdp2s6ZZmkww9-tXoCfF8Qun8zaMTSbka85BiNi-FbyQqDWwSgscVaM2nnkABprwo/s1600/DSC_0216.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi9nH9bJoAcxq5TP0f9m1wdfDESVMVOg4Lab0a45eAm85m54omLnuEdMU-YeBX8hrbzURBg7XZUyUPdp2s6ZZmkww9-tXoCfF8Qun8zaMTSbka85BiNi-FbyQqDWwSgscVaM2nnkABprwo/s1600/DSC_0216.JPG" height="211" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">L to R: me, Emmett, Meagan, Aubrey, and River</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
After he left we gave Meag our gifts
and she loved them. We ate our Funfetti cupcakes we made for her and played our
favorite games together. Aubrey brought some facemasks from the States as a fun thing
to do so we used them tonight for Meag’s birthday. It was hilarious. We ended
up packing the rest of the night, deciding what to leave for Meag and what to take.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I’m trying my hardest to push all of these feelings inside
of me to the side and enjoy these last few hours we have with Meag. I want to
stay. I want to see Joel again. I want to hear him laugh and see him get better
and better at communicating. I want him for myself. I want all of these kids
for myself. They’re so unique and unlike the other and every one touches such
different places in my heart.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It’s like you tell yourself not to go places and do things
like this because you know there’s an end. And you know it’s going to come
fast. But I always go against my better judgment and I do just what I tell
myself not to and I let it happen. I let myself experience what it’s like to
love a child and the women who take care of them. I let myself become
captivated by a four year old boy with cerebral palsy who will forget me sooner
than I would like to admit. I told myself not to because I knew it would hurt
but I did it anyway. And I was right. It’s just as bad as I told myself it
would be.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
_________________________________________________________________<o:p></o:p></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">July 24, 2014<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
This morning we all woke up, packed the last of our things,
and said our goodbyes to Mati and Luyando at the house. Driving the Namwianga
road for perhaps the last time was so saddening.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
To get to Livingstone you have to drive through Zimba which
is where baby Memory is, so we stopped there to check and see how baby is. She
was looking so so much better. Her face looked fuller and they were talking
about wanting to take her off of oxygen to see what her oxygen levels in her
blood would do and see if she can still be stable without it. All great news.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We left the hospital and finished our drive to Livingstone. It’s
hard to try and make your eyes soak in every last sight you can possibly see.
All the unique trees, the people, the beautiful simplicity. We went to the
hospital to check on Jonah’s biopsy results but to no avail. They still aren’t
in. We drove to Kubu café and drank some coffee and talked together before
heading to the airport. When we got our stuff inside we stood at security and
hugged Meag’s neck one more good time. It took everything in me to keep from
crying but I know I’ll see her again and I kept reminding myself that.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We cleared check-in and flew to Johannesburg with no
problems. On the plane I was pleasantly surprised to be sitting next to Mr.
Pippin who was on his way home from the Zambia Medical Mission. So ironic. Not
to mention his house (called the Pippin House) is the one I stayed in when we
studied abroad to Namwianga fall of 2012. Pretty neat. We talked a lot about
Namwianga and how he became involved and how I happened to stumbled upon it. He
told me I should return and be a practicing SLP at the Havens and help teach
Aunties therapy skills. Maybe it’s just because I’m so fresh off of leaving,
but that sounds really intriguing to me.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We waited for a few hours in the Johan airport before taking
off to London and sat there for a few hours before flying to Chicago. We
cleared customs with ease and were on our way to Memphis before we knew it.
When we landed we got to the room before baggage claim and I saw my parents
right away. It was so nice hugging their necks. All of our baggage made it
(praise) and all of us interns hugged one last time before saying goodbye.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Dad and Mom and I went and ate at a barbeque place on Beale
and talked a lot about some of the things that happened. I’m blessed beyond
measure to have parents like I do. They want to hear my stories.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So now I’m laying in a hotel bed in Memphis, Tennessee.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And God how I miss Namwianga.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I cry when I think about the emptiness of my arms that once
held Joel and Ella and Pri. I’m struggling to feel as though I can do anything
that matters other than being back there. Being on God’s mission is more-so a
state of mind than your location (or sometimes it very much has to do with your
location) and I know this. But the state of my mind doesn’t feel right not
being there.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I love these sweet reunions. I love my family. I love that I
have people that anticipate my return. No ifs, ands, or buts. I just miss
living life there as well. And I know these emotions will alleviate the longer
I’m back. They always do. It’s just right now it’s so fresh, I don’t know if
this sadness means I should do something to continue this path or just accept
this summer as a good experience and leave it at that.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
Only God can lead and craft my path in such a way that I’ll
find the answer to that question. Until then, I’ll rest in my memories of what’s
just happened and think on the beauty and darkness of my experiences. I
couldn’t have done this without people who are generous with their money and
prayers. I’m so thankful.<o:p></o:p></div>
Holly Sullivan Jarchowhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16363157548552109883noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5117010090277886582.post-25961712061183774192014-07-19T17:23:00.001-07:002014-07-19T17:32:19.917-07:00Week 5: Squashed Chickens and Cement Floors<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-small;">Learn this lesson well my friend</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-small;">There’s a time to rejoice and lament</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-small;">Every season will find an end</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-small;">All will fade and be made new again.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-small;">Being deaf to the voice of the Almighty One</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-small;">Spirit illuminates the dark like a fire</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-small;">Revealing the way that was hidden but is higher</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-small;">Now we must travel on the wings</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-small;">That will never grow tired</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-small;">Of searching the mysteries of God.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-size: x-small;">- Josh Garrels</span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-small;">___________</span>______________________________________________________</div>
<br />
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<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><br /></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">July 13, 2014<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
This morning I woke up at 5:00 and was totally unable to go
back to sleep. Luckily, Daniel was awake and we were able to Skype for over 2
hours. It was so great finally getting to talk to him unrushed and at ease.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Once everyone woke up and got ready, we left for church at
the Johnson this morning while Meag stayed home with Mercy since she’s still
sick.<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We came back home from church and all made breakfast for
lunch, complete with waffles, eggs, and bacon. So yummy. People were coming in
and out of the house since more and more people are arriving for ZMM. Today’s
the day we bring a baby home from the Havens to spend special time with them
and since the ones each of us are wanting to bring back nap until 2:30, we
decided to play some rounds of Hand and Foot to pass some time. It’s just fun
to live here with Meagan. Life is just brighter with her around.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We went to the Havens to get the babies after their nap and
I decided to get Joel since there’s only two more of these kind of afternoons.
It’s blowing my mind how quickly this end is coming. We chitenged the babies on
our backs and walked back to Meag’s house. The walk is so beautiful to me. It
seems so dry and dead at a glance, but when you take the time to stop and look
at it in light of the sun and how the horizon compliments the sky so well, it
really is beautiful.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhBlpx9iZq3NBtk1ADKa-TBcHL4_1HbkUXaoWPbosALMpBO2D7GbZQb8qVqsMbjA-c5u7B-LjcqpaCITZR3-kOmCAQDE-2hjBqnB3D2SZe0mA66Wu0QAKfw1tqOZgeidE1DjGCnMyfNvfE/s1600/DSC_0174.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhBlpx9iZq3NBtk1ADKa-TBcHL4_1HbkUXaoWPbosALMpBO2D7GbZQb8qVqsMbjA-c5u7B-LjcqpaCITZR3-kOmCAQDE-2hjBqnB3D2SZe0mA66Wu0QAKfw1tqOZgeidE1DjGCnMyfNvfE/s1600/DSC_0174.JPG" height="212" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Biggie</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgM-MEytaxMAUGTWUmlRLwIOh-EdInB6nI4RVOJOAPXL0ED2NL1YYa2rKVORHnQKWt7fxYhj1FFKlKzBNcffXn00tDw_bBH2TaQP3w_Zq1U8a-HYLJWelRBOeIp1LSkTD5oOSCH3ievrt4/s1600/DSC_0177.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgM-MEytaxMAUGTWUmlRLwIOh-EdInB6nI4RVOJOAPXL0ED2NL1YYa2rKVORHnQKWt7fxYhj1FFKlKzBNcffXn00tDw_bBH2TaQP3w_Zq1U8a-HYLJWelRBOeIp1LSkTD5oOSCH3ievrt4/s1600/DSC_0177.JPG" height="251" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Petra</td></tr>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhkVm3NNAWApTqvYcpgQXFpx-TqoXDxSGgc6Mwdr8sz5b22t91dDQOuymZnolzFzUQ_i7g_imMXZgBMEmqYdndZzBh_PTd-lBUG1FohlazJjSwZLETbEOClTx4wTqyb7Og1Z2kvvo6nELI/s1600/DSC_0178.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhkVm3NNAWApTqvYcpgQXFpx-TqoXDxSGgc6Mwdr8sz5b22t91dDQOuymZnolzFzUQ_i7g_imMXZgBMEmqYdndZzBh_PTd-lBUG1FohlazJjSwZLETbEOClTx4wTqyb7Og1Z2kvvo6nELI/s1600/DSC_0178.JPG" height="188" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Joel </td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div style="text-align: center;">
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Joel and I spent the afternoon reading some books and I was
able to FaceTime with Mom and Maggie and they were able to meet him for the
first time. We also took some crazy pictures. The only thing better than Joel
is a frog-eyed Joel.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgo6EZqD1p1MbOSu_jCVudCmpgXPshgJho68hBouln-QkdygjENHYFeOMNTgi9sJyftnxoDEUDnoQxFF27wuRKoihx64JXCMkTrPJBSJhs5cXZV_qCcy8Zu40o8cPuZLMrW_0NRpFJJrxY/s1600/Photo+on+7-13-14+at+3.54+PM.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgo6EZqD1p1MbOSu_jCVudCmpgXPshgJho68hBouln-QkdygjENHYFeOMNTgi9sJyftnxoDEUDnoQxFF27wuRKoihx64JXCMkTrPJBSJhs5cXZV_qCcy8Zu40o8cPuZLMrW_0NRpFJJrxY/s1600/Photo+on+7-13-14+at+3.54+PM.jpg" height="213" width="320" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhkrE5ER51F3nWTeaYLcxP46EK_QbmUkFcjLDpeiQid8n9Ig49cw3f8MZ-V0D6Q2Ibbg-vUXWUF8HsDB7iTMjfDE3TF8krll3qAQTRDx5QbRXr2Sj4PSy87xavm2hhWukCo1EodMMG5mws/s1600/Photo+on+7-13-14+at+3.39+PM+%232.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhkrE5ER51F3nWTeaYLcxP46EK_QbmUkFcjLDpeiQid8n9Ig49cw3f8MZ-V0D6Q2Ibbg-vUXWUF8HsDB7iTMjfDE3TF8krll3qAQTRDx5QbRXr2Sj4PSy87xavm2hhWukCo1EodMMG5mws/s1600/Photo+on+7-13-14+at+3.39+PM+%232.jpg" height="213" width="320" /></a></div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The ugliest yet cheesiest and best Photo Booth effect</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
The last hour or so, River, Petra, Aubrey, Biggie, Joel, and
I all sat on the front porch sitting with the kids and talking to each other.
Joel was lying on my chest still as a stone. I couldn’t help but hold him and wonder
what is to come of this child. What he’ll be like when he’s older. How he’ll
learn to talk. How people will treat him. Who in his adult life will love him
the way he should be loved. <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><o:p></o:p></b></div>
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We walked the kids back to the Havens before dark where Meag
and Lou picked us up. We helped them look for some hemoglobin machine the ZMM
people needed and then came back and made this awesome homemade dinner of
chicken, mashed potatoes, cauliflower, and cheddar biscuits. So. Yummy. And
such a treat. It’s neat how living simply makes you appreciate things like
eating yummy things. After dinner Lou and Dan came over and started making
caramel popcorn. It’s so fun being all together. They’re so silly and just fun
to be around. Listening to them joke and sing and quote movies and talk about
funny stories from a long time ago. It’s such a fun time whenever they all get
hyper. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Today really highlighted this panicked feeling I’m getting
about leaving Joel. Not because I think he needs me by any wild stretch of the
imagination. And not because I think he won’t be ok here. I think this is the
very best thing that could have happened in his life. This place has gotten him
walking and doing things that he would have never done otherwise. I think the anxiousness
is coming from thinking about what his life might be like post-Havens.
Disabilities aren’t treated anywhere the same as the States. People with severe
physical, and especially mental, disabilities become ignored beggars more times
than not. Who will accept him and his disabilities? Who will take him in and
who will teach him? Who will stand up for him? I have full confidence in Meagan
and the Aunties’ love. But when his family comes for him there’s only so long
they can love him. His family has the rights to him and he has to go back when
they say they want him, and from what I know about his family from Meag it
makes me so incredibly nervous. For him.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Tomorrow begins our last full week here. I’m at Haven 2,
which I’m so so excited about now since I’m feeling more rested and healthy.<o:p></o:p></div>
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_________________________________________________________________<o:p></o:p></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">July 14, 2014<o:p></o:p></b></div>
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This morning we somehow all managed to find it within
ourselves to run. It’s been a few days since I last ran and it felt pretty
great making time for that part of the day.<o:p></o:p></div>
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For language class, Chimuka borrowed a Grade 2 book from
Meagan. We each took turns reading a page in Tonga out loud and then tried translating
it into English. It was a lot of fun. I kind of wish we had been doing this the
whole time because it made learning new words much easier.<o:p></o:p></div>
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We went to the Havens and I instantly was greeted by Ella
wanting to learn. We read some books in Meagan’s language classroom when we
were greeted by the rest of the Haven 2 kids coming for language class. It’s so
much fun being around little people who understand you and who you can finally understand.
Joel was a wild man in class today. He was singing and screaming and joining
right along with everyone. At some points he would get so excited, all he could
do was shake and grab his face, grinning ear to ear. Meagan had to leave to go
prepare for the ZMM tour coming through that morning so she left the rest of
the class to Ba Clenice, a Haven 2 Auntie. Towards the end of the class, a huge
group of ZMM people came in, led by Meagan, just to see all the good things
about this place. They seemed impressed and it was fun to see Meagan show off
all of her hard work and diligence in helping things run the way they do.<o:p></o:p></div>
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After language class we walked back to Haven 2 for nsima
time. The kids can feed themselves (except for Vera) but I still like to help
feed them. It gives me some extra time to interact with them. Today I was
feeding Deacon and when he finished he turned his little bowl over and made it
into a drum. Now that I know a little more Tonga I understand more of what the
kids say to each other. They started singing and drumming to this song all the
kids dance to. Each child’s name can be put into it and whenever the kids hear
their own name they dance. So Deacon started drumming to my name, I started
dancing, I sang it to him, he started dancing, Biggie wanted in on the fun, so
he started dancing. It was just a good time. They’re starting to know who each
of us interns are too, which is sweet. They’ll call us all by our names without
any kind of reminding which is a special thing.<o:p></o:p></div>
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After the tour, the ZMM people went over the Eric’s House
for lunch. We followed close behind them to help serve food. After we ate, we
left with Meag for town so we could renew our visas. We thought we were late on
this (woops) but thankfully we realized today was the exact day it expired.<o:p></o:p></div>
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We came back to the Havens and I started doing more
one-on-one time. During my time with Joseph this Zambian guy walked up to the
veranda and started asking me all these questions about myself. When the first
question is, “Are you married?” you know it’s about to be a lively
conversation. Seeing that this happens quite often here, I have to say the
boldness in some of these men will never cease to both amaze me and creep me
out. I would say it never gets old, but it does. It really, really does.<o:p></o:p></div>
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A few minutes later Aubrey came to get me to tell me Maya
and Marissa were at Haven 3 visiting. I was so so excited to get over there and
see what they look like now. Maya and Marissa are twins that weren’t even able
to crawl when we left here in 2012. Since they’ve gone back to the village, now
they’re walking and talking and smiling little ladies. I loved seeing Aubrey so
happy knowing that the little ones who have her heart are healthy, safe, and
sound.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjHcZFCCjHvD9C6y2gv5TooRjTltk-mcALQp7G04KGdFp2fblDD063UQzGpkY8ApQ5xLRRPouRvS6S9WvO6FvvPTmV6XUpxnDgfBXGmWGhmEnF6E-tQ2kr5_AsyEkhyU87CmNKEUw-Yf8I/s1600/DSC_0185.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjHcZFCCjHvD9C6y2gv5TooRjTltk-mcALQp7G04KGdFp2fblDD063UQzGpkY8ApQ5xLRRPouRvS6S9WvO6FvvPTmV6XUpxnDgfBXGmWGhmEnF6E-tQ2kr5_AsyEkhyU87CmNKEUw-Yf8I/s1600/DSC_0185.JPG" height="212" width="320" /></a></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg4kAst2GnuaIqIdhrP_5nZYtx3HY3wKVXn0J3_lbv7x9TwTBwWPzpkc61VwOifITJYhxOIGUv05tO1FwUTkuqHxD-4o61jVZ2luw1uLbDdUNp9TRRnWr75jp1Wpdea21N87blZmaM3EdY/s1600/DSC_0188.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg4kAst2GnuaIqIdhrP_5nZYtx3HY3wKVXn0J3_lbv7x9TwTBwWPzpkc61VwOifITJYhxOIGUv05tO1FwUTkuqHxD-4o61jVZ2luw1uLbDdUNp9TRRnWr75jp1Wpdea21N87blZmaM3EdY/s1600/DSC_0188.JPG" height="227" width="320" /></a></div>
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We left after a few more minutes and went with Meagan to
drop them off at a bus stop in town. In this part of Zambia (and in all parts I
would imagine) there are chickens and animals that run across the road all the
time. Well, on the way to town we came up on some chickens. Assuming they would
run out of the way like they always do, Meagan continued but ended up running
over and completely pancake-ing this baby chick. She was screaming, I was laughing,
there was a clueless African grandma in the back, it was great. We stopped, got
out to look at it, and then Meagan waved this lady down that was driving by.
The whole scene was just hilarious. The Zambian lady driving by on her
motorcycle stops and Meagan says in her best Zambian sounding English, “Hi!
Ma’am, I think I killed that chicken lying there.” Silence. “That chicken back
there, I think I ran over it. What do you think I should do?” She told us maybe
see whose it is and talk to them. I had to cover my face the entire time I was
laughing so hard.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
We came back and made a Mexican meal for dinner. It’s so fun
thinking of meal ideas we can do with the limited range of ingredients we can
find here. After dinner we all sat around in the living room for a few hours and
talked to Meag about Kailey. She wanted to know how and where we all are with
it. All three of us are in completely different places but it was beautiful
hearing Meagan give us wisdom from her own experience with loss and grief. She
told us the best thing we can do is name what it is about the loss that makes
us sad rather than letting sadness engulf us. She told us to think to ourselves,
“What about this specifically makes me sad?” instead of allowing the reality of
the sadness of the world take over. Acknowledge and name the grief, and then
put it in its proper place. Never letting it succeed in having control over
you. We all prayed together and it was just really special.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Some of the blessings from today:<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
- God reminding me in language class by Joel’s excitedness
and ability to learn new things that he will be in His hands.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
- Feeling like the kids have accepted and grown to trust us.
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
- Seeing another successful reconciled family through Maya
and Marissa’s visit.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
- The joys of life that can be found, even in squishing a
chicken flat.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
- Today was the first day Tracy didn’t hesitate to come with
me to one-on-one time (she’s been totally against the idea of coming with any
of the interns for learning).<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
- How the comfort others have received from God really can
be used to comfort other people like the Bible says it can.<o:p></o:p></div>
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_________________________________________________________________<o:p></o:p></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">July 15, 2014<o:p></o:p></b></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
This morning River and I ran the usual trail before having
language class where we read more out of the grade 2 book. It’s been really
beneficial and instantly applicable right when we get to the Havens, which is
so helpful.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhutk50DNPtVc2c2IOrMM7seWXlHB6tTmWP7hkXWbGsx-QRF_lCEDX7Nzlf2rVGr22KIff1WbFq0XWJHxGrN8D88DiRA31I8rO6DyrsaIGv5ESjeAOObW8PoGp6jUdanfDtOtrueTlPBvk/s1600/DSC_0193.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhutk50DNPtVc2c2IOrMM7seWXlHB6tTmWP7hkXWbGsx-QRF_lCEDX7Nzlf2rVGr22KIff1WbFq0XWJHxGrN8D88DiRA31I8rO6DyrsaIGv5ESjeAOObW8PoGp6jUdanfDtOtrueTlPBvk/s1600/DSC_0193.jpg" height="320" width="212" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Chimuka</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I managed to get to some one-on-one time before language
class. Language class has become one of my favorite things about being here. It’s
great being able to see each kid shine in their own way. They each add
something different to the group as a whole. And even being gone from Haven 2
for two weeks now, I’m able to see improvements in some kids’ accuracy of
colors and animals and counting. The last 30 minutes of language class we broke
into centers and Meagan and I went outside with the older kids to do some
matching bingo animal game. She named off the kids she wanted to come outside
with us (she chose the older ones that could understand the game really). She
didn’t choose Joel even though he is one of the older ones. And when he
realized she hadn’t picked him to go, he started crying like crazy. I’ve never
seen him shed tears due to his feelings being hurt and Meag said she hadn’t
either. But that’s exactly what happened. It made me sad obviously but also
kind of happy at the same time because it means he’s finding ways to express
himself outwardly to communicate what he feels on the inside. Good, good signs.
Meag let him join in our game by letting him be the one to hand me the cards.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
After our game, we left for nsima time. It cracks me up that
every day I go into Haven 2, there’s WWE showing on the TV with at least two
Zambian men watching. I ask myself why. So after nsima time I experienced
Joel’s second fit (both of the day, and ever) I’ve ever seen him throw. I fed
him his nsima and he finished, so Bina Sankwa told him to go to toilet time
(all the babies are lined up on these plastic toilets completely naked and are told
to sit there until they go, and yes it is the most precious sight in the world)
but Joel didn’t want to. She stood him up and starting walking with him and he
just lost it crying. It sounds weird to say I’m proud of him when he’s acting
sassy, but I am. He’s developing in new ways and I’m proud of that.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I began my one on one time soon after bath time and I
managed to get through all but 2 kids today. The time flew by because I’m able
to do activities that last longer than just a couple books like in Haven 1. I’m
able to do cards and then match plastic letters and numbers to the cards, do
sorting and grouping; it’s just a fun break being able to teach and have some
kind of reciprocation.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Seth (Sessa Boy) has started joining us for our intern
lunches. He doesn’t eat with us but he loves to sit beside us and play with our
hair. So today he was sitting there and then decided he needed to go to the
bathroom. So he walked to a tree that was beside River, turned his back to us,
and pulled down his pants. Well, he got this bright idea to turn around and
then spin in circles…all while peeing. Boys will be boys? It brightened our day
but still. Help.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I got to sit outside with some of the Aunties out at the
buundus. The Haven 3 kids were out there playing with the Haven 2 kids and I
noticed Kent sitting and eating his snack. He looks so much better it’s unreal.
They shaved his head to try and get the cream for his ringworm on his scalp better
and to also see if it would help his hair grow back more healthily. His skin
seems to have cleared some too. He looks so so much better.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Meag went home early to take care of Mercy so we walked back
with the sunset. We got home and made a homemade dinner of this broccoli salad
stuff and fried okra. I put my Smoothie King skills to good use and made
everybody some fruit smoothies before playing some cards.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It was such a great day of being with the kids. I realize
how smart they all are when they surprise me with how much they know of the
alphabet and shapes and being able to speak two languages for crying out loud.
They’re just bright kids that love life. I love learning from them.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
_________________________________________________________________<o:p></o:p></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">July 16, 2014<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
This morning was our last day of language class with
Chimuka. I got up and made some blueberry muffins for us all. Aubrey woke up
feeling pretty sick so she forwent the day, but it was a great last day with
her. We read from a grade 3 Tonga book and it was so hard! Nearly all of the
words were new to us.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Today is Joel’s birthday so it was a party at the Havens. We
sang to him and I made sure to hug him a little tighter. Meagan had to meet
with a lady at the clinic and wasn’t able to be there to do language class, so
Chimunya had to take over. It was a COMPLETE disaster. None of the kids would
sit, all of them had toys in their hands, they were all talking, and at no time
were all of them paying attention. It was so awful I felt sorry for Chimunya.
We struggled through the hour and a half before going to nsima time. It’s kind
of good to see them like that on occasion though because it keeps me having the
perspective that they’re just kids. They’re not any more angelic just because
they’re African. They can be (and are) just as bratty and ornery sometimes.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Today, Seth could tell me every letter, color, and animal I
showed him with 100% accuracy. So. Cool.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
One of my favorite things about these kids is how much of a
family they are to one another. They’re constantly sharing everything. Clothes,
food, rooms, everything. They’re always with one another and treating each
other like brothers and sisters. One thing Ella always does in our time
together is whenever we read a book, she’ll without fail find people or animals
on a page and label which of the Haven 2 kids they are. Today we were reading a
Dr. Seuss book and there was a page with a lot of crazy looking animal/people
things and she started rattling off everyone’s name. “That’s Ella. That’s
Maureen. That’s Biggie. That’s Deaco.” It’s the sweetest how much they each
consider the others in everything they do.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Since it’s Joel’s birthday, I jokingly said something about
him coming home with us for a birthday party and Meagan totally was for it. We
didn’t have a party but he did get to come home to spend the night with us! We
left the Havens with him and came back to make some dinner. It’s Mercy’s
birthday today too so when we got home Meag put them both in these cute little
outfits. We made dinner and ate before the girls came over for Bible study.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Tonight we talked about Nicodemus and how being born again
relates to a passage from Ezekiel. Some of the girls asked some good questions
about baptism. A couple of them are really deep thinkers and it’s really neat
to observe Meagan’s dynamic with them.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I knew bringing Joel home was a bad idea. Not because it was
a bad idea, but because now I love him that much more. It’s just painful
honestly thinking about saying goodbye. I got to ask Meag some questions about
the status of his family and the most current situation of what the plans are
for him. I wish he was mine so badly knowing about all the options for his
special needs along with the amount of love I have for him. It’s going to be a
struggle coming to terms with the truth that I’m leaving here without him and
accepting that he may not have the quality of life I wish he could have. Not
because African life isn’t good quality life. It’s not a matter of nationality.
It’s a matter of having access to the kind of stimulation and care for special
needs. And he won’t have that where he’ll grow up. But he will have his family.
And he will be relatively close to Meagan so that she can drive to check on
him. I just want to believe that he’ll be taken care of. And I think he will.
But I want him to be more than just taken care of. I want him to be the best he
can be and to feel loved every day of his life.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
_________________________________________________________________<o:p></o:p></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">July 17, 2014<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
This morning the plan was to wake up and be at the Havens by
7 so we could drop off Joel and walk to the village to spend the day there cooking
lunch for our host families and hanging out with them one last time.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I woke up early so I could check on Joel and see if he was
sleeping well through the night and my stomach was feeling upset. I ended up
getting super sick. I was planning on still going to the village so I could
cook lunch for Bina Mbombo, but I just felt awful and the village is the last
place you feel like being when you’re sick on any level. All morning I just
kept getting sick over and over again and spent most of the morning on the cold cement floor with a blanket. I really can’t remember the last time I was that
violently ill. Definitely a low point. I imagine it was pretty pitiful looking.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I spent all day in the bed feeling incredibly nauseous and trying
my hardest to sleep it off. Lou gave me some Phenergan, which helped me sleep
for a while, and left me waking up feeling much better. I was able to manage
some soup for dinner while Meagan and River went to help serve the ZMM team
their Mexican meal. Lou stayed at home with Aubrey and I since Lou’s mono is
starting to flare up again. We were joking about how this house is just full of
sick people! But it was really nice because Aubrey and I had a really great
talk with her about Dan, her life, their life together, and just a lot of good
things.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I’m super sad the day didn’t happen like I thought it would
and even more sad that sickness is just now happening at the end of our trip.
It’s just frustrating to me because last night I felt totally fine and then
today I couldn’t stop getting sick. But I definitely am more appreciative of
good health now that I’m not throwing up every hour.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Tomorrow’s my last day in Haven 2 so I really really hope I
wake up feeling good enough to finish as strong as I want to.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
_________________________________________________________________<o:p></o:p></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">July 18, 2014<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Thankfully we all woke up this morning feeling healthy and
ready to take on the last day of this week. We got ready and went straight to
the Havens. When I got there I found Bina Mbombo and talked to her about how sorry
I was that I was sick. She seemed to understand and I was able to give her the
basket I had gotten her as a gift of thanks. She really loved it.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjYZphjZNyvxkWPPVo-KqPLubaxgD01IIAp5N2F22fuoh1AGa5GosKwKvGP7lOmGPEC7zdEYMm4j5S5tH4tTMlVlH0x1SFhOY8izyaq7uxB0GtHnfgo8P5w7hZywkJjbLcnVcy93v0un24/s1600/DSC_0195.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjYZphjZNyvxkWPPVo-KqPLubaxgD01IIAp5N2F22fuoh1AGa5GosKwKvGP7lOmGPEC7zdEYMm4j5S5tH4tTMlVlH0x1SFhOY8izyaq7uxB0GtHnfgo8P5w7hZywkJjbLcnVcy93v0un24/s1600/DSC_0195.JPG" height="189" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Bina Mbombo</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Language class was special today because we celebrated
Joel’s birthday. We made some cupcakes a couple of nights ago and the kids
loved them. It was so sweet seeing the kids dote over Joel and celebrate him.
He’s so great at being in the background and encouraging other people, so to
see him praised makes my heart happy.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
After language class, it was nsima time like always. I
helped feed and then helped Ba Susan in the kitchen with the dishes and the
sweeping while the kids were taking their bath. Even in small things like doing
the dishes, I feel like I’ve found a small place with the Aunties. Not because
I’m doing a job but because they actually talk to and joke with me now. Ba
Susan told me she would be sad that I would be leaving. It’s kind of comforting
to feel like you’ve managed to find some kind of place in all of this.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
After lunch I got started right away with one-on-ones.
Pretty soon Emmett showed up to take us on an adventure into town. We caught a
ride, ran some errands he needed to run, browsed around, and stopped at El P
for a cooler before walking back. We sat at El P for a while talking with
Emmett about his week and the classes he’s been guest teaching at the college.
He’s been talking about the teachings of Paul and told us a lot of the guys had
questions about disciplining their wives by beating, discussing whether or not
it was appropriate. It’s interesting to see how different the issues are over
differing cultures.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg2xZVPriGpgKA3pcdn9JqCZ_8ZGQ9IqEZvXeESy-kLnfRgA62NvvEHDYuOr4kpBSpMXVQf_V0tDnK2EVhNcO-Gsteykt1Ec24UTAH-auw5FblchkJ7RDN38xngoU_fqC-u29DiPSjtr0o/s1600/DSC_0207.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg2xZVPriGpgKA3pcdn9JqCZ_8ZGQ9IqEZvXeESy-kLnfRgA62NvvEHDYuOr4kpBSpMXVQf_V0tDnK2EVhNcO-Gsteykt1Ec24UTAH-auw5FblchkJ7RDN38xngoU_fqC-u29DiPSjtr0o/s1600/DSC_0207.JPG" height="221" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Emmett and the 'terns</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We decided to be trailblazers (in the most literal sense of
the word) and find a shortcut back to Namwianga. It took us about an hour and a
half, so we cut off a little time. It was an incredible walk. I mean we were
walking through plains and plains of nothing but Africa as far as your eyes let
you see. There were trees and brush and gardens and we even came up on this
huge rock thing that was like Pride Rock from Lion King. It was surreal
realizing how special this experience is and understanding just how cool the
things we’re doing really are.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We got back to Meag’s house and fixed a quick dinner before
going out to the Merritt’s for our last night of singing. We stopped by the
Havens so we could each bring someone with us. I picked Joel naturally, and he
was a champ. He was talking to me all throughout the night.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We got back to Meag’s and played some cards before the power
went out, not so surprisingly, and we called it a night.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Health is one of those things you forget to be thankful for
until you don’t have it. Or someone you know/love doesn’t have it. I’m so
grateful to be feeling so much better and that I’m able to live this last week
with 100% of me. It’s weird realizing that I need to go ahead and say goodbye
to people I run into since it may be my last time to see them. It feels too
soon to be saying goodbye.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
_________________________________________________________________<o:p></o:p></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">July 19, 2014<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Our sleep in day is such a highlight as it marks a week of
hard work completed. Aubrey and I woke up around the same time and worked on Meagan’s
birthday present since it’s coming this Wednesday. The day before we leave
actually. Kind of depressing really if you think about it too much.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Once Meag got up we played some card games before walking to
Wasawange. We wanted some quilts made so Meagan brought a lady to us a few days
ago that could make them for us. I gave her all of my chitenges I’ve ever worn
while being here both times and am having a couple of quilts made from them. We
walked to Wasawange (where she lives) to check on how they were looking and to
give her some backing and batting for them. I had this HUGE roll of batting
chitenged on my back. I couldn’t have fit my arms around the whole roll if I
would have tried. We got to her house and they looked SO great. I’m so excited
to get them.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We walked back by Eric’s House to get a couple of things from
Jason and Cyn’s gift shop before walking back to Meag’s through the paddock and
making this huge Mexican feast for dinner: guac, homemade tortilla chips,
fajitas complete with bell peppers and onions. It was so much fun all cooking
together.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We went to the Merritt’s for a game night and played with
Kathi and Cyntia. It’s so fun being a part of their talks and jokes. I’m
grateful for these moments.</div>
<div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
_________________________________________________________________<o:p></o:p></div>
Holly Sullivan Jarchowhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16363157548552109883noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5117010090277886582.post-86739469175547415332014-07-12T13:24:00.001-07:002014-08-05T08:11:35.318-07:00Week 4: Seeking Sabbath<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-size: x-small;">Sabbath in Late Fall</span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-size: x-small;"><br /></span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-small;">Sometimes on the Sabbath</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-small;">all you can do is</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-small;">settle into the soft body of yourself</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-small;">and listen to what it says.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-small;">Listen to</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-small;">the exhaustion that is deeper than tiredness</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-small;">the hunger that is for more than food</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-small;">the thirst that is for more than drink</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-small;">the longing for comfort that is more than physical.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-small;">On the Sabbath</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-small;">body and soul reach out for time of a different sort</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-small;">time that is full of space rather than activity:</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-small;">time to watch the burning bush in your own backyard...</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-small;">the movement of the wind among bare branches...</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-small;">the last leaf clinging to the branch before its final letting go.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-small;">Letting go is hard,</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-small;">letting go of that which no longer works</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-small;">that which no longer brings joy and meaning</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-small;">that which is no longer full of life.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-small;">It seems cruel</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-small;">That something that used to be so beautiful</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-small;">should fall to the ground</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-small;">sinking into the earthy mud along with everything else that is dying,</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-small;">no longer recognizable for what it used to be.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-small;">It seems cruel but it is the way of things.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-small;">One generation gives its life for the next.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-small;">One season slips away so another can come.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-small;">One crop of fruit falls from the tree so that more can be borne.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-small;">One wave recedes while another gathers strength to crash upon the shore.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-small;">It seems cruel</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-small;">but it is the rhythm of things.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-small;">And rhythm has its own beauty.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span style="font-size: x-small;"><br /></span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<b><span style="font-size: x-small;">- Ruth Haley Barton</span></b></div>
<b><br /></b>
<span style="text-align: center;">_______________________________________________________________________________</span><br />
<b><br /></b>
<b>July 6, 2014<o:p></o:p></b></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I woke up early again this morning, unable to make myself
sleep any longer. Luckily Daniel was awake so we were able to talk some before
having to get dressed and packed up to head home to Kalomo. Before leaving we
had this incredible breakfast at the hotel. Made the whole entire stay worth
it. We ended up spending the morning at Sunday Market and I got all of the
things I needed to get for people back home! I love giving gifts and trying to
see pieces of people I know in little knick knacks I find. The atmosphere was
fun and we were bartering queens. There were a lot of tourists there so of
course the sellers were asking for crazy prices. Nonetheless it’s always fun to
me to barter and negotiate. We made a lot of friends today.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Meag met us at the market later since she was still feeling
a little sick. When we found her, we put our stuff in the car before going grocery
shopping for the next week or so. We stopped at Manda Hill Mall to get some
waters and get whatever else we needed for the road and then began our journey
back to Kalomo. I started feeling pretty bad so I took some Phenergan to help
ease the nausea since it’s a bumpy venture. Thirty minutes later I was feeling back
to normal, just a really drowsy. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
After about 6 hours of dozing in and out, we stopped by Kurt
and Jesse’s house again (the last stop on our village visit day last week). We
picked up their mom and Lushomo (the oldest sibling) because they’re going to
the Havens to get their smallest one, Cipo in Haven 1, to bring her home! The
plan is for the mom and brother to stay at the Havens for a couple of days and
be the ones who take care of Cipo in her normal routine here so Cipo can be
somewhat used to them before leaving to live with them. Such a range of happy
and sad.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We got back to the Havens and walked with Cipo’s mom and
brother inside to get her. Cipo was pretty scared. Hopefully after a couple of
days and a little formed trust between her and her new family, she’ll be
happier to go to her home. It’s sad but you have to keep telling yourself this
is the point of all this: reconciliation.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
We got back to Meagan’s, unloaded the groceries, and relaxed
the rest of the evening since we’re all feeling a little under the weather.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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It was such a great weekend
seeing so many different beautiful places and having the luxuries of hot
showers and Internet. Hopefully this will be the end of this stretch of not
feeling well so we all can jump right back in tomorrow and I can love on some
Haven 1 babies.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="border: none; padding: 0in; text-align: center;">
_______________________________________________________________________________<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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<br /></div>
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<b>July 7, 2014</b><o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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This morning we all woke up
feeling a little better than we did last night so we decided to take on the
day. We had language class and then headed to the Havens.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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I’m back at Haven 1 this week. I
got to all but 3 of the 23 babies today. That’s <i>pretty</i> great. On top of that, each baby did wonderfully. It
astounded me how big some of them have gotten since I’d seen them 2 weeks
ago. Mercy is officially back at the
Havens now instead of living with us, which is sad, but it’s neat to see how
much her personality has changed after being around so many other little ones
rather than being the star of the show at home. She’s definitely quieter in
some ways.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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Some of my favorite moments from
one on one today:<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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- There’s nothing like a baby
lying still as a stone on your chest. I rocked Zeke (and eventually myself) to
sleep and woke up after having napped for an hour with him. After 20 more
minutes he woke up too. I don’t really have any desire to be a mom but those
moments make me almost change my mind.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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- Pri was the happiest I’ve ever
seen her. She was constantly smiling, laughing, and babbling to me.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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- Owen was so attentive and
curious. His eyes were locked to mine and I heard his laugh for the first time.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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- Binwell, one of the more hyper
boys of Haven 1, let me just hold him still today. It was so rare and unlike
him and I loved every second.<br />
<br />
- We got a new baby today! Her name is Memory. She’s 2 months old and weighs
just over 2 kgs (about 4.5 pounds). She was born prematurely and her mother
just passed away so her family has been resorting to feeding her cow milk.
She’s tiny tiny tiny. Her head is the size of a tennis ball.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br />
<br />
I ate lunch with the Aunties today and we had nsima, rape with groundnuts, and
beans. So yummy. At 16:00 I went and got Joel and we spent an hour together. He
danced and we read some books and walked around.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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We left right at 17:00 and came
home and made homemade pasta for dinner. We have Riss (Jason and Cyntia’s
daughter) spending the night with us tonight! We played on the iPad a little
before she headed to bed. The rest of the night us interns journaled while Meag
baked some brownies for language class tomorrow for Reuben’s birthday.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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Such a great start back at the
Havens after a long weekend away.<o:p></o:p></div>
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_______________________________________________________________________________<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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<br /></div>
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<b>July 8, 2014</b><o:p></o:p></div>
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This morning we dragged ourselves out of bed, ran, and had our usual language
class. Afterward we went to the Havens to pick up Mamma’s son, Edwin, before
making a trip to town to visit AARON!<o:p></o:p></div>
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We drove there and met up with
Aaron’s dad in town. He works at a pay phone shop and I knew who he was immediately
when I saw him. Their noses are identical. He got in Meag’s car and led us to
their house which was only 10 minutes away. We pulled up, got out, and sat in
some chairs Aaron’s dad brought outside for us. After what seemed like an hour
waiting, Aaron’s dad walked out with a walking, talking Aaron. When I left him
Fall 2012 he was 6 months old. Now he’s 2 years old and a little man. Right
when I saw him I couldn’t help but cry. I mean tears just started rolling
before I could stop it. That child who has changed so much about me has no idea
in the world who I am or how important he will always be to some girl in
America. And that’s ok to me that he doesn’t know who I am. He doesn’t need to.
But I’ll always know who he is.<o:p></o:p></div>
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We talked with his dad some
while we sat there. He still hasn’t remarried since Aaron’s mom passed away and
he said he’s not really looking either. They’re living with Aaron’s dad’s
sister and her family so he’s got a lot of younger kids he’s growing up around.
That makes me extremely happy. He just looked so healthy and happy and big. I’m
so thankful. So so thankful.<o:p></o:p></div>
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We got back to the Havens in
time to eat some birthday cake for Reuben and then began my one-on-one time.
All the babies today were so cuddly and I got some good rocking in. I was able
to read some too while they dozed on my chest. Best kind of one-on-one time. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Joel was so happy today. We
danced, played on the playground, and played on some instruments Meagan has in
her classroom. He was wearing this button up today looking super fratty, which
was hilariously not ok, but still perfect.<o:p></o:p></div>
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We made taco soup and Rotel dip pretty
soon after getting home so we could have some time to talk about our chapter in
“Now What.” Since Jason and Cyntia are still out of town, we forwent game night
and just talked about the book since we’ve missed the past couple of Mondays.
We talked about Ebenezers. What they are, what their purpose is, and how
important they are. Especially after big experiences that change you. Because
the truth of the matter is, no matter how big an experience, some of the
effects will not always be as strong as they once were. That’s just what humans
do when life keeps moving. So we talked about the importance of naming
experiences and reflecting on them often.<o:p></o:p></div>
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After dinner River and Aubs
started dozing and decided to go to bed early. Meag and I stayed up talking for
a few hours. I was able to talk with her about everything I’ve been wanting to
ask her about. We talked about grief, death, living here, not living here, this
past year of her life, family, loneliness, dark seasons she’s experienced, how
she moves out of those seasons, and how/why in the world she still believes in
God/can believe He is good when living a life like this one. Everything. We shared
our feelings of how this kind of calling leaves you feeling both bitter and
privileged at the same time. It’s both a sacrifice and an honor to do this. We found out it drives us both mad how some
people get to give some money or even come here for a week, 2 weeks, or even 6
weeks like us interns, and feel like they’ve put in their time and can go home
and their lives can continue on. But people like us can’t find any kind of rest
or feel right about our lives unless we answer the call in a way that changes
everything. We both just sobbed and sobbed together. I’m so incredibly grateful
I was able to have this precious time with this friend. <o:p></o:p></div>
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________________________________________________________________________<o:p></o:p></div>
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<b>July 9, 2014<o:p></o:p></b></div>
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This morning it was rough waking
up, but I managed to do it. Aubrey and River ended up not joining me in running
today but I found it nice to have some time to be totally alone for even a
small amount of time.<o:p></o:p></div>
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We didn’t have language class
because Chimuka was sick, so we went straight to the Havens an hour early. The
extra hour made the day seem forever long but it also gave me enough time to
get to every single one of the babies. I can’t believe I did it.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Cipo went home today with her
mom. It’s such a mix of emotions. Everyone is so happy she’s reunited with her
family but also mourning the loss of her presence here.<o:p></o:p></div>
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The Zambian Medical Mission starts
next week so people are slowly trickling in here and filling this place up. One
of the doctors that just arrived, Mrs. Binky (owner of the Binky Estes house),
came to check on some of the kids Meagan has some questions/concerns about. It
was neat seeing them work together and hearing Mrs. Binky give Meagan her
advice.<o:p></o:p></div>
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After running around spending
time with all of the babies all day, I helped feed dinner, went to Haven 3 and
helped feed those babies, and then we came home. We warmed some leftovers and
rested while Meag left to talk to some people who had just arrived for ZMM
(Zambia Medical Mission). When she got back we did the next chapter in “Now
What.” This chapter talked about spiritual giants that we come in contact with
on overseas trips. Which, spiritual giants as a term in itself is strange to me
seeing that every Christian deals with their own level of doubts and questions
and unsurety, but that’s besides the point. We talked about people we’ve met
here that seem like spiritual giants to us and what it is we can do to obtain
for ourselves the characteristics we see in them. Today was so exhausting all
we could do wa go straight to bed.<o:p></o:p></div>
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I’d like to fantasize my time
here and make it sound as though these kids are perfect and there’s no amount
of tired I can feel that would ever make me want to leave. But today I left the
Havens actually happy to get home. Loving the kids is a day well spent but a
tiring task.<o:p></o:p></div>
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_______________________________________________________________________<o:p></o:p></div>
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<b>July 10, 2014<br />
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This morning in language class,
Chimuka gave us simple sentences in English and in Tonga and then we tried
making our own sentences with all of the words we’ve learned.<o:p></o:p></div>
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When we got to the Havens we
talked to one of Meagan’s Zambian friends about making quilts for us. When I
walked back to Haven 1 to get started on the day, I saw Mercy sitting on the
veranda and she looked so awful. Her eyes were totally sunken in. It was
honestly terrifying. Bina Bright told Meagan that she had been vomiting and
having diarrhea all night. It was scary how different she looked just from the
day before. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Today was intern lunch and by 12
we were all so exhausted. We sat and ate
our packed lunches and sat in the shade for about an hour and a half. We talked
about how crazy it is how open our futures are and how we never once thought we
would be interns in Zambia the summer before our senior year in college. And
the same can be said about what’s to come. Who knows what will happen that we
haven’t even imagined yet. <o:p></o:p></div>
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I got to almost everyone today
in one-on-one time. Everyone was so compliant and cuddly.<o:p></o:p></div>
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I wasn’t feeling well so I told
Meagan I would let her know if I would be able to go out into the village
tonight. Since Mercy became so sick so fast she was busy taking care of her, so
I just decided to tough it out and go. Bina Mbombo and I left at 17:00 and
walked to her house. When we got there we started making this tomato soup
mixture with eggs, rape, and nsima. I started feeling nauseous so I took some
Phenergan I brought with me. We ate and sang some with her kids. I felt so rude
because the medicine started making me feel sleepy and I still didn’t feel
great so it was hard for me to be engaged and join in. We went to bed at 19:30
and I was out. Hopefully I can kick whatever this is and start feeling better.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<b>July 11, 2014<o:p></o:p></b></div>
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Bina Mbombo woke me up this
morning right before we had to leave. She apologized saying there wouldn’t be
any breakfast because she forgot to buy sugar the day before. I was kind of
glad because I was still feeling groggy and not hungry at all. We met Aubrey
and River on the road and finished the walk back to the Havens. We hugged the
Aunties, parted ways, and finished our walk back to Meagan’s.<o:p></o:p></div>
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We packed a bag since we’re leaving
today for Livingstone. The plan is for us interns, Meagan, and Dan to pick up
Lou at the airport and spend the day there and see the lunar rainbow at
Victoria Falls. While changing clothes and packing our bags I realized my
ringworm count is up to four now. Three being on my face. Worth it.<o:p></o:p></div>
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We didn’t plan to leave for
Livingstone until 11:00 so we drove up to the Havens at 8:00 so we could get a
few hours in with the kids. While I was rocking Esther (the premature twin to
Lot) she smiled this huge gummy smile which I have yet to see her do. And
Annie, another one of the little babies, usually just cries the whole time but
she also smiled the whole time I was rocking her. Needless to say it was a
great last day at Haven 1.<o:p></o:p></div>
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We left there, went to get Dan
from the Hamby House, and drove to Livingstone. Dan is Australian so it was so
great hearing him talk the whole way. We waited and waited and finally Lou
walked through the doors. Such a sweet reunion. It was precious seeing Meag and
her so giddy to be together again. We left there and went to eat lunch at this
place called Route 66. It’s a new restaurant here in Livingstone. We all got
burgers which was a great treat. After there we went and ran some errands. We
got some coffee and little things Dan needed to fix some things around the
Mission.<o:p></o:p></div>
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We talked about the possibility
of bungee jumping off of the bridge over the Zambezi River across from Victoria
Falls so we decided we would go check on how much it would be. (Just River and
Aubrey. Not me, Mom.) They said they would do it only if it was $100 or less.
It ended up being about $150. We walked away defeated, but with a little
persuasion from Meag and Lou the girls decided they wouldn’t get this
opportunity again so they decided to spend the extra and do it. I was so proud
of their extremely compulsive yet brave decision.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhWPBpR8HxbEbrBOEkJGI8sjlKD9H3_87VZY9gBMglXE9hT5qN1sV6bwgV-MXMzcfFPHs-dyIkjnPoG_UuGfSHcVSLav69e_fs3DPL0pl7gIW-36cbtcpF5E5Bk-rNz8ewRDmu6nX85z6M/s1600/DSC_0186.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhWPBpR8HxbEbrBOEkJGI8sjlKD9H3_87VZY9gBMglXE9hT5qN1sV6bwgV-MXMzcfFPHs-dyIkjnPoG_UuGfSHcVSLav69e_fs3DPL0pl7gIW-36cbtcpF5E5Bk-rNz8ewRDmu6nX85z6M/s1600/DSC_0186.JPG" height="196" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Proud some people are brave enough to do these things.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<tr><td><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg62EGfL5G7PuWpeMBYD18XL7LYwwoBqXyhTosP737k7zAlyodpRqnF_BGc4DNuSjtCvj7vcLvH1DzVgqRTu_PCs313Be84rWTCEesOv8islVANLBk7YgRpYnTvEM8wDxV_FZfdKywg2F0/s1600/DSC_0170.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg62EGfL5G7PuWpeMBYD18XL7LYwwoBqXyhTosP737k7zAlyodpRqnF_BGc4DNuSjtCvj7vcLvH1DzVgqRTu_PCs313Be84rWTCEesOv8islVANLBk7YgRpYnTvEM8wDxV_FZfdKywg2F0/s1600/DSC_0170.JPG" height="212" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="font-size: 13px;">Victoria Falls from the Zimbabwe side<br />
<br />
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After we left there we decided
to come to the hotel to get our jackets before going back out to the Falls for
the lunar rainbow. In short, the lunar rainbow is a rainbow that shows itself
at night due to the moonlight. Walking up to the Falls we felt like we were bad
kids doing something illegal or something because we were the ONLY people in
there. It was kind of weird. But it was just us 6 trekking around the trails of
the Falls in complete blackness. There are baboons that hang around there so
all I could picture was the scene from Tarzan when Jane ticks off the baby
monkey and the huge fleet of baboons chase him around. We kept our eyes peeled.<o:p></o:p></div>
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The lunar rainbow was nothing
short of incredible. I mean I saw a rainbow at night. It was so awesome. Not
just the sight of it but the sound too. Last time I came in 2012 in the daytime,
there was less water running over the Falls because of the start of dry season.
But tonight, there was so much water you could hear the roar as soon as you
stepped out of the car. We were being misted on just walking towards it. So
much power. Standing there in the magnitude of what we were seeing it was almost
restful; hearing nothing but the roar of the water. You could hardly hear the
person talking next to you. It was peaceful.<o:p></o:p><br />
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We all loaded back up in Meag’s
car and came back to the hotel. It almost felt like we were just driving around
Little Rock or something. We were all singing and laughing like friends who had
known each other for forever. Meag told us what her favorite thing was about
this weekend trip. She said usually when groups come they save the fun stuff
for the last couple of days before flying out to go home. But her favorite
thing about the whole weekend is that we’re doing all these fun things and no
one is leaving tomorrow. We get to all come home together.<o:p></o:p></div>
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_______________________________________________________________________<o:p></o:p></div>
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<b>July 12, 2014<o:p></o:p></b></div>
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Last night was one of the best
nights of sleep I’ve gotten since I’ve been here. I felt super rested and
reenergized. We packed up, ate some breakfast, and went to “Handyman’s
Paradise” (yes that’s the name of the store) so Dan could get some things
before coming back to Namwianga. We stopped by the grocery store as well to get
some stuff for our last village visit this coming week. We’re cooking for our
host family instead of them cooking for us like they usually do. Meagan wanted
us to choose something American that we could make out there. It was harder
than you would think trying to come up with American things that you can carry
in your arms and make and over a fire. We wanted to choose something besides
your typical spaghetti or whatever so we chose grilled cheese and omelets.
Simple and probably gross to them but it’s what we eat, you know? (I mean, not
together in the same meal but that’s not the point.)<o:p></o:p></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">After the grocery store we
dropped Dan at the airport so he could help pick up some more of the ZMM
(Zambia Medical Mission) people that arrived today. We drove back to Nams with
Lou, catching up on things. It still never ceases to amaze me how baboons are
chillin on the side of the road like dogs would be in America. Baboons. Baboons
people. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">We made it back, unloaded the groceries and
luggage, and rested for a few hours. I was able to FaceTime my parents which
was so great since it’s the first time I’ve gotten to talk with them since
being here.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Meag and Lou went to Eric’s House so Lou could see Jason and Cyn so us
interns had the house to ourselves. Aubrey was feeling sick so she slept while
River journaled and checked emails. I made some mac and cheese while listening
to Ben Rector and it almost felt like normal life. It was so great having a few
hours to turn our brains off and just be.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Meag got back from Eric’s House and we made
dinner before playing some Hand and Foot with Dan and Lou. We treated ourselves
to one of the cake mixes we brought. It’s so fun joking around with Meag and
Dan and Lou. They’re in their thirties but I feel like we’re all just friends.
And the cool thing is, we kind of are.</span></span></div>
</div>
Holly Sullivan Jarchowhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16363157548552109883noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5117010090277886582.post-73835594998226538622014-07-05T12:34:00.000-07:002014-08-05T08:11:58.513-07:00Week 3: I'm Mary and I'm Martha All At the Same Time<div style="border-bottom: solid windowtext 1.5pt; border: none; mso-element: para-border-div; padding: 0in 0in 1.0pt 0in;">
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">June 29, 2014<o:p></o:p></b></div>
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This morning we went to Tumango
for church. Since Emily, Emily, and Brandi (the Harding girls who got in last
night) were with us, the church asked us to sing for the congregation. We got up in
front of everyone, sang a couple of songs, and they really seemed to enjoy it.
It was good to be able to bless them in some sort of way.<o:p></o:p></div>
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After church we went to the
Merritt’s for lunch. We had baked potatoes with the Merritt's and Jason and Cyntia.
It was so nice to have a family homestyle setting with a lot of faces both old
and new.<o:p></o:p></div>
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We went to the Havens to get our
baby we’d planned to have one on one time with today. I was going to take Pri
again but since she was Emily’s baby when she studied abroad here last year I
let her spend some time with her. I chose Vera due to the fact I’ve grown to love her dearly this past week. The Harding girls stayed at the Havens for the
afternoon while we came back to spend some time with our little one. Aubrey read
a few children’s’ books to the babies and they were still as
stones. They can be so incredibly attentive and engaged with things like that it's surprising. Vera
and I did the shape sorter, ring stacking, and reading. And tickling. Lots and
lots of tickling.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhH7nAcddvtjtjG2P8GivBbnl7s0HpTvRO18RST2_-RpKTEXlvHgCeBR8GUHvGSKiE0ks4pTt1wVkvhaLLxueOH0MnOIcojMhhzXKu5HuG4BciiS6kfu1tL4hUm7nQQO6qsWDrcBwogFn8/s1600/DSC_0172.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhH7nAcddvtjtjG2P8GivBbnl7s0HpTvRO18RST2_-RpKTEXlvHgCeBR8GUHvGSKiE0ks4pTt1wVkvhaLLxueOH0MnOIcojMhhzXKu5HuG4BciiS6kfu1tL4hUm7nQQO6qsWDrcBwogFn8/s1600/DSC_0172.jpg" height="320" width="211" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Sweet Vera.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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Before long, it was time to
strap them on our backs and walk back to the Havens in order to get the babies
there and for us to get back before sundown. The walk was beautiful
as always but at one point we had to army crawl under some barbed wire with the
babies strapped on our backs. Again, the things that happen sometimes.<o:p></o:p></div>
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We got the Harding girls, walked
back, and made breakfast for dinner. It’s been great being together telling
stories and sharing this special summer that’s happening in all of our lives. Even
if it is just for a few days. We went to Johnson church after dinner and Roy
continued his Temple series. Tonight he talked about keeping your temple holy
in terms of sexual purity. Another girl decided to get baptized! We were all so
exhausted we just came back to the house and went straight to bed.<o:p></o:p></div>
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It blows my mind we’re already beginning
week 3. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<span style="text-align: center;"> __________________________________________________________</span></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">June 30, 2014<o:p></o:p></b></div>
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This morning we pulled ourselves
out of bed to go running. The sunrises never get old.</div>
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Since it’s a new week we moved
Havens so I’m in Haven 3 now. Haven 3 is all ages from newborns to walking and
talking. They’re in Haven 3 instead of Havens 1 or 2 with the other kids due to individual medical reasons. It can be anything from they were exposed to HIV or TB or anything that
requires special attention to medicine-taking. So they keep them in a separate Haven not because they’re
dangerous or contagious but just for the simplicity of medicine storing and making sure each child gets what they need and medicines aren't forgotten in the shuffle of the day.<o:p></o:p></div>
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I was able to have one-on-one
time with Kent, Angel, Helen, Rita, Jeremy, Chilala, Candace, Petra, Boyd,
Gilimo, Esther, Agnes, Evelyn, and Chabilo.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Today was especially hard for a
number of reasons. Some of the kids were tired, so shy they wouldn’t utter a
sound, or just plain cranky. Besides that, today was the first time I had really seen one of the struggling babies who was here when we were Fall 2012. He went back
to the village with his family and was brought back because he was almost dead
from malnourishment. Now he doesn’t even look like the same child. He has ringworm
everywhere, dark scabby skin on his sideburns and wrists and feet, splotchy
skin, white scarred fingers, discolored eyes and teeth, and red hair from the
malnourishment. He hasn’t said a word since being back at the Havens and when
he left he was a babbling baby. The whole one on one time today I was so angry. Just looking at him was hard. Not because I was disgusted. Because I was looking into a face of straight abuse. I'm angry, but also relieved that he’s alive and back. How could it have gotten that bad? How could God have let a child get
THAT bad and not intervene sooner?<o:p></o:p></div>
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On top of that we found out
pretty solemn news about Zack, one of the guys that studied abroad with us. He
was in a really bad farming accident a week ago and was not expected to make it. Then he did make it but is still critical yet improving. Now he is sedated and the everyone is just waiting. Doctors are saying he’s
“extremely critical” and to pray. Who knows if that's a positive or negative statement but today was just a day of a lot of thinking and wondering why things are the way they
are. <o:p></o:p></div>
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All the babies went down for
their usual naptime so I went to help Grace in the kitchen with lunch. Emily,
one of the Harding girls visiting, had a Zambian friend with her, Elise, who she met
last year. She brought Elise to the Havens so they could spend some time
together. Elise is so intelligent and speaks remarkable English. They helped in
the kitchen as well and Elise showed us how to shred cabbage for rape (a type
of relish here). She turned on some music on her phone and the first song she
put on was a Gospel song by Destiny’s Child. What even. After that song finished she
turned to Emily and said, “Listen to this one and tell me if you know it.” And
SWEET HOME ALABAMA started playing. For the love of all I just lost it laughing.
Lynard Skynard playing on a Zambian’s phone in Africa. I told her I was from Alabama
and she goes, “Oh really? Please don’t cry listening to this song.” Haha I mean
I can’t say I’ve ever had the desire to cry during Sweet Home Alabama, but I
almost did today from laughing so hard.<o:p></o:p></div>
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We had nsima, rape, beef, and
some soy chicken kind of stuff. It was super good. Since the babies were
napping for another hour at least, I went and got Joel and spent over an hour
with him. It was perfect timing to just sit with him and let his presence heal
the hurt happening.<o:p></o:p></div>
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After feeding at Haven 3 all of
us came back to Meag’s and had stir fry for dinner. All of us girls ended the
evening sitting around the table playing games and telling stories. <o:p></o:p></div>
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There were hidden blessings in
today. Like Rita’s sweetness, Jeremy’s joy, Esther’s small fingers feeling my
face while feeding her, Petra’s dancing, Joel just being who he is, and even
the humor in the song on Elise’s phone. But today there was also a lot of
frustration about the injustice all over this place and this world. I’m mad
because the problem is so big and any kind of attempt is feeble; a drop in the
bucket.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Will the bad news ever stop?
Will there ever be a stretch where no one I know is hurting or doubting or
dying? I guess what I’m wanting is Heaven. Which in itself is proof that
this world really isn’t my home.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">July 1, 2014<o:p></o:p></b></div>
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Somehow we got ourselves up this morning and we walked our usual trail. Language class today was more information about names; the process of
naming and who gets to give the names, etc.<o:p></o:p></div>
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We got news that Zack is doing pretty poorly. He’s having
renal problems which Meagan says is never positive news.<o:p></o:p></div>
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On the way to the Havens I was feeling extremely down about
the whole day. The Zack situation, having to see Kent again, just a lot of
different things. And today ended up being one of the best days as of yet. I
was able to get one on one time with every single kid which I haven’t done
since I’ve been here. Some of the quiet ones from yesterday talked and laughed
with me. AND Kent spoke. Which is HUGE.<o:p></o:p></div>
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I also had a whole hour with Joel. I hung up my hammock and
planned to swing and read to him but he was so tired all he wanted to do was
lay on my chest. We read a couple of books and hammocked the entire time. Thank you
God for that moment.<o:p></o:p></div>
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We fed at Haven 3 which is always crazy. I fed Helen and
Chilala, two girls who were both hesitant with me yesterday. They were
talkative and giggly with me, which only added to the goodness of the day.<o:p></o:p></div>
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We all came back to Meag’s, made tacos, and played games
with the Harding girls since we’re taking them to Choma tomorrow for the start
of their internship.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Today was such a great day after such a whirlwind yesterday.
I lay down every night wondering how in the world Meagan and the Aunties and other
missionaries do this every day. The work itself is draining <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> a</span>nd the emotional toll it takes is exhausting.
However, it has forced me find joy even in the smallest positives. Because
sometimes the small positives are all you’ve got.</div>
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<span style="text-align: center;"> __________________________________________________________</span></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">July 2, 2014<o:p></o:p></b></div>
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We got up early this morning to take the Harding girls to
Macha to begin their internship. We got an update on Zack that his bowels are
not functioning and his body is not absorbing any nutrients because he keeps
rejecting everything from his feeding tube. A lot of our car ride was spent in
silence.<o:p></o:p></div>
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When we got to Macha, we went straight to the grocery store
to get some stuff for both the girls and for us. We drove another hour to the research
center where the Harding girls will be doing their internship. We helped them get their groceries
and bags inside and said our goodbyes.<o:p></o:p></div>
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From there Meagan decided this would be a good day to do
some village visits since some of the kids live out that way.</div>
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We started by finding Nico. We pulled up to her house to be greeted by a man who seemed to be
out of his mind. He was talking to Meagan in Tonga but she told us after he
walked away that she thought he may be out of his mind because he wasn’t making sense. A few minutes later Nico and her
grandmother walked up the path to the house. Once Meagan saw her she started
running and Nico did the same. The reunion was so sweet. The grandmother got
each of us a chair to sit in and a cup of cibwantu (fermented corn mush with
water). Meagan was catching up with her grandmother about how Nico was doing.
She has constant ear infections and think she may be almost deaf because of it.
Her grandmother said that a lot of times she won’t respond or even know you’re
talking to her unless she’s looking at you. Otherwise she seemed healthy and
happy. It was so obvious her grandmother loves her. She gave Meagan a whole
bucketful of sweet potatoes when we were leaving. In the car afterward Meagan
said Nico's grandmother always gives her some sort of gift as she’s leaving. And
whenever Meagan thanks her, her grandmother says that what Meagan has done for
Nico will always outweigh any kind of gift she could give Meagan. I felt extremely positive when we pulled away.<o:p></o:p></div>
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After Nico, we trekked across to the other side of Choma to
find Prince and Princess. We pulled up and there was Prince, standing at the
door, his face looking exactly the same as the baby Prince we all knew. Princess came running around the house
with a huge Aretha Franklin weave fro. We were laughing so hard thinking about
how Bridget would react to such a sight. They both are so incredibly healthy
and in the best situation I could have ever imagined. They’re living with their
aunt and uncle in a really nice house with other kids both older and younger.
They didn’t remember any of us (obviously) but they didn’t even remember Meagan
which I was surprised to observe. Meagan said it can be painful for her when that
happens, but it’s always a good thing because it means they consider their
real family their real family. Meag said it’s always more difficult for her leaving
a village from a visit with the baby latching on to her wanting her to take
them with her. But this wasn’t the case with Prince and Princess. Their aunt and
uncle both work at a hospital and were so friendly. They invited us in and we
sat in their living room talking about the World Cup and news. The uncle asked
us where we were from and when we told him America he goes, “How do you manage
to survive there?” At first I thought he was joking with us but after a second
I realized he was totally serious. We asked what he meant and he said he hears
about things like “bush fires” (forest fires) and suicide. I told him we
survive the same way they do in Zambia and he said here they might suffer from
illness of some sort, but never natural disasters or civil war like we do. He
said it with such genuine concern for us almost like he felt bad for us. It
took me off guard for a minute but then I realized he was right. Not that America is a worse (or better even) condition, but I mean to say he’s right in that
Zambia really is such a more peaceful place.
We pulled away from their house, both Prince and Princess waving. They’re in such a happy
home that will encourage them to pursue such a bright future.</div>
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<o:p></o:p></div>
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We left there and started roaming around the area for Caleb.
Meagan had been in contact with a neighbor of his so he met us out on the main
road to help us know which path to turn onto. We passed the path a bunch of times but
finally saw him. He led us up to their hut where we found Caleb. He was sitting
on the ground with both of his feet clubbed as ever. His right foot has
become significantly worse. He wouldn’t talk at all to any of us. Meagan sat
next to him, pulled him onto her lap, and started massaging his legs and feet.
She exchanged words with the man who helped us find the hut. I couldn’t gather
much but I did hear Meagan ask why he hadn’t been going to the clinic to get
casts on his feet regularly. The man answered saying they didn’t have transport
money to get there and back. Meagan asked how much it costs to get there and
back and he said 40 kwatcha. That’s about $6.50. Meagan then asked how far away
the school is for the kids and he said it was about a 45 minute walk (a task no
person with two clubbed feet can do). It hit me then that this boy’s future
relies on $6.50. If he doesn’t get his feet fixed, he can’t get to school. If he
doesn’t get to school, he can’t progress to a better life than he has now. He
would be left with farming but he really couldn’t even do that with two clubbed feet
either. $6.50. That’s the difference between becoming a beggar and a
businessman here. We left their house and I asked Meagan what else the man said and
she said she would tell us whenever she was less angry and not on the verge of
tears. We rode the rest of the way home in silence while tears were streaming down Meag's face.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Before getting to the Namwianga road we turned off onto
another path to see Kent and Jesse, two siblings who have come home from the
Havens. Both of their parents are blind, which astounds me. They’re able to
keep up with 5 kids, and a farm, blind. All the kids can
see which helps, but still. Wow. All the day to day tasks started running through
my mind: starting a fire, knowing which of their vegetables are ready to eat,
gathering those vegetables, cooking, washing, just getting around the area
safely. It seems hard enough with two working eyes. Their youngest sister (Cipo) is in Haven 1 right now and Meagan said we’ll be
bringing Cipo home this Sunday. <o:p></o:p></div>
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We got back to the house from their house, unloaded groceries, and ate before getting ready for Bible study with the girls. They didn’t come tonight so it may be a holiday or
some kind of break for them. So we all just turned in for the night and went to
bed early before working at the Havens and going to the village tomorrow night.<o:p></o:p></div>
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I have a lot of mixed emotions about today: anger, joy,
sadness, thankfulness, relief, confusion. It’s so hard for me to understand why
a lot of things happen here. In the world really. With the babies, with Zack,
with a lot of different situations. Why there’s so much pain. “Because this
world is broken and sinful” just doesn’t seem to satisfy that question for me
anymore.</div>
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<span style="text-align: center;"> __________________________________________________________</span></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">July 3, 2014<o:p></o:p></b></div>
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This morning we slept in until language class and learned
random words from a grade 1 book Chimuka brought for us. <o:p></o:p></div>
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At the Havens I managed to see all but two kids. It was a
really good day overall even though I was pretty slow moving. Petra was so cuddly and talkative. Every one of the
little, little babies were so incredibly smiley. Kent was more playful, especially with bubbles. Jeremy was so still during a book we read together.
And all Joel wanted to do was give me kisses all over my face. He would even
point to his mouth and then my cheek totally on his own.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Memory, one of the Zambians that helped cook food for our HIZ group, surprised us at the Havens. A lot of the girls had befriended her and become close with her when we were here. She showed up and we caught up with her about how her
schooling and student teaching was going.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Bina Mbombo and I left for the village at 17:00. On the road
back to her house we passed a cobra stretched across a log. I was less than 2
feet away from it when we passed it and once I saw it my whole body went numb
and straight into fight or flight mode. I just kept walking and it wasn’t until a little
farther down the path did Bina Mbombo tell me it had been killed so it wasn’t
even alive. Snake eyes, even dead ones, are just as beady and scary.<o:p></o:p></div>
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We got to her village and I helped her sweep out the inside
of her house and sat with her as she cooked nsima. We had chicken and nsima and
then went outside and sang under the stars with her kids. I really loved one
song in particular. They sing the whole thing in Tonga and then again in English. It
says:<o:p></o:p></div>
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Every time,<o:p></o:p></div>
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Oh,<o:p></o:p></div>
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In the Spirit,<o:p></o:p></div>
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Overcoming<o:p></o:p></div>
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In my heart.<o:p></o:p></div>
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In the mountain,<o:p></o:p></div>
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In the hillside,<o:p></o:p></div>
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In the valley,<o:p></o:p></div>
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In the sea.<o:p></o:p></div>
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It was so fun to sing and one of those songs you sing as
loud as you can because you want to remind yourself the truth of the words.<o:p></o:p></div>
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We were joined by a lot of the village kids and we all went
inside the house because of the cold. One of the boys went to get an empty jug
and brought it back inside to use as a drum and we sang the night away. Two
other Aunties, Mabel and Esten came over and Bina Mbombo’s daughter, Luyando,
danced some of the traditional dances she’s been learning at school.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I counted and by the end of the night we had
17 people inside of her house. It was loud in the best kind of way.</div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">July 4, 2014<o:p></o:p></b></div>
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Last night I didn’t sleep we at all for whatever reason and
woke up feeling a little sick. Bina Mbombo prepared rice and sugar for
breakfast so we ate and talked a little bit about all kinds of things. America, HIV, our village visit, and then started the walk to the
Havens. We met up with Aubrey and River and Ba Beauty on the path. We passed
our cobra friend and got to take a pic with him.<o:p></o:p></div>
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We went to the Hamby to grab some coffee and say bye to
Emmett before leaving for our fun weekend with Meagan. The plan is to go to this lake for Friday night and then go to Lusaka for Saturday.</div>
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We finished packing our
stuff and started our drive to Lake Kariba. We found out we’re staying on an
island in the middle of the lake which was exciting. We drove for what felt like hours; well, it
was--three hours down a bumpy and potholed road. None of us were sure we were
going to right way but after we asked some people for some direction, we arrived. It was like night
and day. The road up to the lake was primetime Africa but once we got to the lake it was such a touristy spot. The lake was huge and so blue. It just didn’t feel like a place like this could exist out in the middle
of nowhere, but I'm surely thankful it does. We had an hour to lounge around until the boat left for the island
so I found myself a little corner in a chair, read, and spent some time alone.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Soon it was time to load up with another family of 5 and
boat to the island. We rode for about an hour and got to talk with the manager of this
place. She’s from South Africa and is taking over the manager position while
her son is gone since his wife just had a baby. When we docked we toured around
and got our chalet. Aubrey and I are staying together tonight and River and
Meagan are in another place. It’s pretty cozy. There’s no Internet and
only a couple of places with cell phone service which I actually think is one of the best things about it. It’s almost relieving to know there’s no way anything on the outside can reach us
here. They told us we need to be in our houses by 11 tonight because sometimes
elephants from some of the other islands like to swim over and walk around here.
What.</div>
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The four of us rested a little and played a game of Phase 10
before going back out on the boat for a sunset ride. We rode out a bit to
where you could really see the horizon. The sky is the most beautiful colors of
pink and orange. There were these mountains far away and all you could see were
the layered silhouettes of them. It was like a painting. We were talking to the
guys driving the boat and we had heard previously that someone had died on an island close by a
few months ago so we asked them what happened. One of our guides was actually
there when it happened and the guy that died was one of his friends. They were
installing a water pump and he said he heard an elephant beginning to charge
(you can hear their ears flapping and obviously their charge itself). He said
he jumped into the croc infested lake to get away but his friend didn’t hear
the elephant because he had earphones in listening to music. He said the
elephant grabbed his friend with his trunk, squeezed him to death by crushing
all of his bones, dropped him in the water, fished for him in the water with
his trunk, pulled him up, and then trampled him. Meagan asked the guy if he ever goes back to that place and he just laughed. He said that he goes all the time and had just gone earlier to take a client to look at the elephants. It’s remarkable the difference in
grief between this culture and mine.<o:p></o:p></div>
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We returned back to the island, showered, and rested some
before dinner. We had T-bone steaks, potatoes, salad, and this really awesome
cake stuff for dessert. We were all laughing so hard because we had skipped
lunch that day, and dinner wasn’t ready until almost 21:00 (9:00 PM) and we were just so ravenous. We all got a steak as big as our plates, scarfed it down, and all
looked at each other and just died laughing because we were all still so
hungry. You would think we had been living in the woods and hadn’t eaten for
weeks or something, when in actuality we were just at Meagan’s house that
morning. We decided since we had skipped lunch and been out in the sun a lot
that day it was ok for us to be that hungry. Kind of.<o:p></o:p></div>
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After dinner we went back to
River and Meag’s chalet and laid on the bed talking. It was great having today
be such a peaceful beginning to the weekend.</div>
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</div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">July 5, 2014<o:p></o:p></b></div>
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Early this morning I woke up early again not feeling well.
It was right as the sun was rising so I went out onto our porch to read and
greet the sun.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgyy2G7M6Uy1KqtNtyymqR4zjDOqVJX2K-HEApbyn3tl9HfMbeAFWBvQKA_PUp1Wfv-nfO9IhJ4UpjR_vdluGlNVWqUhO4aQEFXjPtrKscAUGqjQ_EoihjxtiygtQskx47c4c_Z2v4t7Vg/s1600/DSC_0243.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgyy2G7M6Uy1KqtNtyymqR4zjDOqVJX2K-HEApbyn3tl9HfMbeAFWBvQKA_PUp1Wfv-nfO9IhJ4UpjR_vdluGlNVWqUhO4aQEFXjPtrKscAUGqjQ_EoihjxtiygtQskx47c4c_Z2v4t7Vg/s1600/DSC_0243.JPG" height="212" width="320" /></a></div>
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<br /></div>
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When Aubrey got up we packed our stuff and went to
breakfast. Meagan and River came a little later and once we had all eaten, we
loaded our stuff on the boat and headed towards the mainland. It was only an
hour this time but it was so nice being out on the lake in the morning time.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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We paid for everything and started our journey to Lusaka.
The trip was a little shorter than we anticipated which was a pleasant
surprise. We got to Lusaka around 3:00 and found out A Fault In Our Stars was
playing at 3:15. So we went to see an afternoon show. Afterward we went and ate dinner at Mugg & Bean, this little coffee/restaurant place we found a couple
years ago. We decided we’d make it a movie day and planned to go back to the
theater to see Maleficent. Meag started to feel extremely sick at Mugg &
Bean so we came back to the hotel to drop off our stuff, let her go to bed, and
we walked back to the theater. When we got there they told us they stopped
showing that movie this past Thursday so we just moseyed through town and came
back to the hotel. Our room is <span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">so great. We finished the night watching While
You Were Sleeping and catching up on emails.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<!--StartFragment-->
<span style="font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif;">This weekend we’ve discovered two ringworms on
me; one on my leg, one on my face. But ya know, it only means some babies that
needed some good love got some and I’m ok with it. The end of this week marks
our halfway point, which is so hard believe. It feels like it’s been forever yet
no time at all. Here’s to three more weeks of loving so hard it hurts (and
maybe even gives me a couple more ringworms).</span></span><!--EndFragment-->
Holly Sullivan Jarchowhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16363157548552109883noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5117010090277886582.post-53441264230176592962014-06-28T16:17:00.003-07:002014-08-05T08:12:10.430-07:00Week 2: Beautiful Like the Healing Pains<h2>
</h2>
<h2>
</h2>
<h2>
</h2>
<h2>
</h2>
<h2>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small;">Oh, my God, fellow man, and this great land</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small;">They all cry out for full restoration</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small;">And this will take patience</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small;">And this will take the tribes and tongues of all the nations</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small;">And all of creation groans in anticipation</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small;">Waiting for the Son of God to be manifest</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small;">And I can feel it burning in my chest</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small;">The liberation for the oppressed.</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small;">And it’s beautiful like the feet that bring good news'</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small;">It’s beautiful like this freedom tune</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small;">It’s beautiful like the power to choose to change</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small;">Beautiful like the long awaited rain</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small;">Beautiful like the healing pains</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small;">Beautiful like to holy flames</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small;">Coming down.</span></span></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">June 22, 2014<o:p></o:p></b></div>
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This morning we went to church
with Meagan at Tumango. We woke up early, walked to the Havens to drop Mercy
off, and walked the rest of the way to church. They were already singing by the time we got up to the door. The guy preaching today began by asking everybody to get up and sit with
their families. Zambian men usually sit on one side and the women and children
on the other. So he asked all of them to stand and sit according to families. He then
asked them to think of who from their family was missing. Their spouse,
children, anyone not there. He asked them to think about why they weren’t there
and talked about the effects of a family divided. Sons who are thieves,
daughters who become pregnant, all usually happen in a family whose parents
don’t encourage them to come to church with them. It happens in families whose parents do encourage them to come to church as well, but it definitely happens more often in families divided . It was a really neat sermon.
One with a lot of challenging and complete thoughts. You don’t get that very
often here.<o:p></o:p></div>
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We walked back to Meag’s after
church to eat a quick lunch before going to Havens to get our little ones to
spend the afternoon with us here at home. On the way to the Havens Meag decided
to teach me how to drive a stick by letting me drive her car. It’s already
different enough but add the fact that the drivers’ side is on the opposite
side of the car AND they drive on the opposite side of the road, and you've got a whole different challenge. Somehow I only
managed to kill the car once. “Stick Shift Sundays” have been borne.<o:p></o:p></div>
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I picked Priscilla to come home
for the afternoon with me for a number of reasons, but mostly because I really
bonded towards her this week at Haven 1. We got back home and the power was on
so I was able to Skype Daniel! It was so so great. He got to meet Pri and we
were able to talk about his school and some of the things that have happened
here so far.<o:p></o:p></div>
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We had to take the babies back
before dark so we made our way back to the Havens. We strapped the babies on
our backs with zitenge and trekked down the dusty trail. Pri fell asleep on me
which will never fail to melt me. We dropped them off and walked back to Meag’s
and made dinner before going to Johnson church. Five more people were baptized
tonight!<o:p></o:p></div>
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We decided we were craving some
hot chocolate after church so we went over to the Hamby to bum some hot water and
found Emmett. He promised us a ride on his motorcycle and to take us fishing.
We decided (while we were on our wild streak) to make plans to bus up to North
Zambia, get on a steamboat that had been made from an old World War II German
ship, go up to Tanzania, bus to Daar, and either train or fly to Zanzibar.
Emmett brings out the adventure in all of us.<o:p></o:p></div>
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We ended the night back at the
house trading tips and tricks about the babies since we’re going to a new Haven
tomorrow. Aubrey told me all she could to help me with planning for the Haven 2
kids. It will most definitely be a challenge working with older ones because it
means twice the energy coming from them and twice the energy being taken out of
me. But it also means a little more meaningful of a connection. I’m really
starting to feel more in the swing of things and with each new venture I feel
confidence replacing my unsurety. Rather than trying to iron out details like I
was a week ago, today I’m just ready to jump in and see what tomorrow holds.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">June 23, 2014<o:p></o:p></b></div>
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This morning we all felt like we had been hit by a bus. We
forwent running and slept until we absolutely had to get up for language class
with Chimuka. Today she taught us phrases we can use at the Havens-- simple
questions, commands, and answers. After language we rode with Meag to the
Havens and got the different things we needed for the day out of her language
classroom since we switched Havens today. Becasue I’m at Haven 2 (the toddler
house) this week, I start my day in Meagan’s language classroom. The kids have
language class for an hour and a half. I sat in today, and probably will
for the rest of the week, to watch Meagan interact with the kids. They are all
so incredibly smart with their singing and counting and colors and body parts.
It amazes me how children have the ability to pick up two languages so quickly.
Joel was participating so well and really gets going when the other kids get
riled up. He just wants to be a part. I love that baby.<o:p></o:p></div>
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After language class we gathered everyone and walk back to
Haven 2 for nsima time. They ate lunch, got a bath, and went down for a nap. <o:p></o:p></div>
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While the kids were bathing I went into the kitchen to see
if I could help with the Aunties' lunch. I met Ba Susan who speaks pretty remarkable
English. We joked around about how much stronger Zambian women are than
American women. She let me cut the tomatoes and put me in charge of the soup.
She let me try to mix the nsima and I attempted, but quickly turned it back
over to her. She was so fun to be around. Ba Franco, another Auntie I met
today, came in the kitchen around that time. They were joking around with each
other and it was so fun to see them so playful. A mouse darted across the floor
and they all chased it with a towel trying to get it out but it ended up hiding
behind a cabinet. I was laughing so hard. <o:p></o:p></div>
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I started my one on one time with them when bath time was
ending, and I was able to grab a couple of the ones who weren’t able to sleep
too.<o:p></o:p></div>
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I absolutely loved every part of one on one time today. I
thought it was going to be exhausting but it really wasn’t. First of all, when
I go and get whoever I need all I have to do is ask, “(Insert baby name here),
do you want to learn?” And they answer with, “YES!” That in itself can tell you
how excited they are to explore and know as much as they can. It was pretty
easy today because everybody just wanted to be read to. I was thinking I would
be on my feet running around all day but they all were so content with chalk or
bubbles or books.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Each child is so unlike the other and I treasure each
difference. Ella is so incredibly cuddly. Vera only needs you to smile at her
for her to burst into giggles. Vigi is so independent and determined. Deacon
sits still as a stone and is meticulous about turning the pages. Memo is so
focused and resolute in saying the right thing. I could say something about
each one.<o:p></o:p></div>
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A couple of my favorite moments from today: <o:p></o:p></div>
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1) When I was reading to Biggie he was so attentive and
answering so many of my questions during the book. He counted and repeated
after me every time I asked. At one point he pointed to a crescent moon in the
sky on a page and said, “Banana!” I didn’t have the heart to tell him
otherwise. After our book I asked him in Tonga if he would run around with me
so we got up and took off. His deep laugh is hilarious and it’s a pretty great
sight to see him running straight at you with outstretched arms and a 40-year
old sounding chuckle.<o:p></o:p></div>
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2) Joel also wanted to read today so we did and of course we
got into a tickling match. I have never heard him laugh like I did
today. It was a wheeze. Like the kind where you’re silent because you’re
laughing so hard. I started laughing just as hard as he was because I never
thought I would hear that sound. Every time he would start I would start and he
would end up throwing his head into my chest. I’m so thankful to God for giving
me moments like that.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Around 17:00, Meag, Aubrey, River, and I met and went to Haven 3
to help feed and then back to Meag’s to make dinner. We had pasta with homemade
alfredo sauce. We do it pretty big here. After dinner I wanted to shower before
we had our Monday night “Now What” time, but what do you know the water went
out so I ended up washing my hair in the kitchen sink. Ridiculous? Yes.
Hysterical? More yes.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Tonight in our “Now What” time we went through the first
chapter which basically talked through 3 different approaches people have in
discerning God’s will. The first is the “Dot Approach”, the second the “Ditch
Approach”, and the third is the “Dad Approach”. What approach you have
determines how you interpret the rest of the book so tonight was just finding
out which you are. The Dot Approach is when you believe God has one way, one
spouse, one path, one plan for you. This kind of belief system leaves you
asking/looking for signs for what to do. To make a wrong decision might derail
the rest of the plan. The Ditch Approach is when you believe God is fine with
whatever you choose so long as it isn’t causing others or yourself to sin.
Here, God can take whatever and make it into whatever He needs. The Dad
Approach is an in-between. You disagree with the Ditch Approach because you
don’t feel like you can do just whatever. You believe you’ve been given gifts
and talents and God acts as your Father who knows you so well He prods you into
opportunities which allow you to exercise those talents. And you disagree with
the Dot Approach because you believe God still allows you to exercise free will
in choosing what it is you do. It was interesting to see how different parts of
my life have fallen into each one.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Such an awesome start to the week.<br />
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">June 24, 2014<o:p></o:p></b></div>
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This morning we woke up in time to leave the house at 6 to
go to Livingstone to check on Jonah’s (Haven 1 baby) biopsy results. He had his
test the first week of May and Meagan’s had to drive to Livingstone every
couple of weeks since then to see if the results are in. The doctors keep
telling her they will call her and let her know once they come in, but Meagan’s
been here long enough to know that what that means they will indeed call when
the results are in, but that’s if they remember to call before the paper
becomes buried under other things. She told us to be prepared to wait for hours
and hours only to be told the results aren’t even in yet. So we packed up, went
to the Havens to pick up Jonah, and rode to L’stone. Meagan talked to us on the
way there about different kids’ situations. She told us how certain kids got to
the Havens as well as what will happen with some of them after they leave. She
specifically told us about the ones that don’t have any kind of home life to go
back to. It angers me to think about some of the things these kids have already
had to experience and it makes me even more angry to picture the confusion and
darkness some of their futures hold. Some are going home to parents who are
mentally insane. Some are going home only to become malnourished to the point
death and brought back to the Havens again. Some are completely orphaned and
have no kind of plan yet in place as to what will happen. I just don’t
understand. <o:p></o:p></div>
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We pulled into the hospital and there was already a line so
we sat down to wait. I read a little bit and then Meagan decided she would be
proactive and be the one to ask instead of waiting in vain. She went to the
desk and asked if she could personally look through the stack of biopsy results.
They let her (which I'm sure breaks all kinds of codes) and Jonah’s weren’t in there. She told us later she saw resultsin there just coming back from tests that had been given in November. When she saw
his results weren’t in, she asked to talk to a doctor and he told her if nothing
has changed in his behavior than she should just come back in two weeks. All in
all we only waited about an hour which absolutely never happens according to
Meagan.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Since we were planning to be there all day we decided we
would go ahead and ask for more information about seeing the lunar rainbow at
Victoria Falls. I think we’re going to try and see it. Basically it’s a rainbow
that can be seen at night because the moon is so bright. <o:p></o:p></div>
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We needed to get groceries too so we went and ate at Kuba
Café for some coffee and brunch. We got the groceries we needed and headed back
home. When we got back, we went to the Havens and I spent the afternoon working
with Seth, Memory, Maureen, Joel, Vigi, James, Reuben, and Ella one on one. Today
each of them colored with me in a coloring book and we went over colors as we
used them. Since Seth is a little older than the other ones I was able to do
some reading and alphabet work. After making the trip to L’stone, working with
the toddlers, and then feeding at Haven 3, we left the Havens feeling worn OUT.
<o:p></o:p></div>
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We got back to the house, had a quick dinner, and then Kathy
Merritt, Cyntia, and Jason came over for game night. It’s so fun seeing them
interact with each other and even more fun joking around with them.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Every passing day it gets easier and easier to fall asleep
at night, and harder and harder to wake up in the mornings. But just as much as
I feel tired, I feel accomplished because I know that means I’m doing exactly
what I came to do.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">June 25, 2014<o:p></o:p></b></div>
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We finally worked up enough energy to get out of bed and run
this morning! I ended up running the trail to the end and back without stopping
which felt so great after a few days of not running.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Language class with Chimuka today was so interesting. We
talked about Tonga names; what they mean and why they name their children what
they do. The whole time she listed off names that are common and we wrote down
their meanings. Some of them were so strange. For example, one of the names was
Mupenzi. A child is named this when they are born when there is trouble going
on in the family. For example, if the father of the family has just passed away, and a child happens to be born, then it will probably be named Mupenzi. Another example
is the name Bulongo. A child is named this when they are born during a funeral.
I asked Chimuka why Zambians do this in their culture. Why do they name their children after sad
things? I explained in the States if a child were to be born in a sad time we
would try and forget about it rather than give a child their name after it.
Chimuka told me she really doesn’t know why, they just do. I asked
Meagan on the way to the Havens and she said a lot of it has to do with the
fact that Zambians are so different than Americans in the way they grieve.
American culture is extremely unhealthy when it comes to grief in that it can
last for decades or even a lifetime and never really come to an end. We either bury it as though difficult times aren’t
happening or we submerge ourselves in it to the point we can’t move beyond it.
Zambians, however, take a period of time to grieve and then move on. So naming
a child after a hard time wouldn’t be a constant reminder of pain or bring up
buried feelings like it would in my culture. It’s almost as if the names of
children serve as a family history. It was pretty interesting. The art of
remembering is so incredibly important in this culture. Some other interesting
ones from class today were:<o:p></o:p></div>
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Siamabi- born in an incestuous union.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Donkola- “one who opens the mother’s womb” (first born
child)<o:p></o:p></div>
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Miyanda- given to a child whose mother had difficulty conceiving
to the point of having to use roots or herbs<o:p></o:p></div>
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Munsaka- name is only used in the Bansanka clan. They praise
themselves for “Bana Chibwa Camazakala kuluma cilatotobola,” meaning “those
that belong to the family of dogs with a lot of fur, but when they bite they do
not leave a mark.”<o:p></o:p></div>
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Chimuka also explained to us one of the rituals of marrying here when it
comes to an incestuous situation. If two people fall in love, realize they are
related somewhere in the family tree, and decide they still want to marry, they
must take part in a "family-tie-breaking" ritual. They must kill a goat together, remove
its intestines, tie them around both of your waists and the family tie is then
“broken”. You are no longer related and you can marry.<o:p></o:p></div>
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After class we went to Havens to work with the kids. While I
was helping Ba Susan sweep the kitchen, Meagan asked me or some help with
finding some things for the babies in the containers so we went and shuffled
around a few boxes for some clothes for one of the Haven 2 girls who needed some shirts
that better fit her.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Today when I was working with Seth we were working on shapes
and played a game of memory. While it was his turn he was singing a Zambian song that translates into “I love You, I love You Jehovah because you have
given me life. Because you have given me _________.” And usually you fill in the blank
with whatever you want. A thing, a blessing, a person's name, whatever. And as he was singing when he got to that part, he put
my name in the blank. We sang it back and forth to each other while we played. His love for learning and for life lives in a special part of my heart.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhDrp8WFXDT2Z98_RGNKBq9LsqWu9FYiTUGR9NGmqsuXTTr9eqmxplw9gl8uMyqe1EovF8zWQ9npkbLfYzHESNbjd3al4x08bvIVNlnNjuZ_dkylz8scnJpnXIWgcdRpM2g83Jzlhybfs0/s1600/image-2.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhDrp8WFXDT2Z98_RGNKBq9LsqWu9FYiTUGR9NGmqsuXTTr9eqmxplw9gl8uMyqe1EovF8zWQ9npkbLfYzHESNbjd3al4x08bvIVNlnNjuZ_dkylz8scnJpnXIWgcdRpM2g83Jzlhybfs0/s1600/image-2.jpeg" height="240" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Sessa Boy</td></tr>
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I spent time with a couple more kids and then Meagan came
back and asked if I would help her take some of the kids to town and help her
find some jackets for them since cold weather is coming. So we loaded up Seth,
Maureen, Memory, Ella, Reuben, Joseph, and Vigi and went to town. While we were
riding there, “Honey Bee”, the country song, came on in the car and all I could
do was look at Meagan and laugh at how funny this situation was. Two American
white girls. Seven African babies. A bumpy dirt road. Africa. “Honey Bee”.
What.<o:p></o:p></div>
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The kids handled town like champs. There were a couple of
drunk guys and a man who was the most deformed I had ever seen someone, but
the kids didn’t act a bit different. They can be surprisingly mature for their
age.<o:p></o:p></div>
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We found everyone a jacket and then headed back to the
Havens where I worked with some more little ones before going over to Haven 3
to help feed. I love the Aunties over there. They are so silly with the babies
and with each other. They always are singing or dancing and every evening when
we walk through the doors they greet us with hugs and huge smiles. I’m excited
to go to Haven 3 next week and know them better.<o:p></o:p></div>
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After feeding we came back to the house, made some chili, and
had girls’ devo with the Grade 9 girls from the secondary school. Meag talked to the girls about how it is totally possible to do Christian things without really knowing Jesus.
Going to church, reading the Bible, and doing Christian things can all be done
without Jesus. The girls really opened up and talked about how they find it
difficult to say they actually personally know Jesus. It was really neat to see
that.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Today is the day I can say “I’m exhausted,” and tomorrow may
be just as difficult since I’m going out into the village for the night with
Bina Mbombo. Now that I think about it though, even when the tired was getting
the best of me today God gave me moments like in the car on the way to town,
Seth’s sweet singing, and the hugs from the Haven 3 Aunties. He is too mindful
of me.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">June 26-27, 2014<o:p></o:p></b></div>
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This morning we slept until language class because it’s village day! I can’t
believe it’s already been a week since we did this last time. Language class
today was all about whatever we wanted to ask Chimuka. Any cultural advice for
the village or just Zambian culture in general. <o:p></o:p></div>
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We went to the Havens, had language class, and then headed
back to Haven 2 for nsima time. The TV was on in the background when I was
feeding Maleele and “No Scrub” came on. Before I knew it all the babies were
bouncing up and down, dancing to the music while they were eating. It was
perfect.<o:p></o:p></div>
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A couple of days ago one of the Aunties told me Aubrey told
her I was a good dancer (from the moment she finished that statement I knew
this was Aubrey’s attempt to embarrass me) and she wanted me to
dance. I told her I would dance when Aubrey comes to Haven 2 to dance. So after nsima time, some of the babies took a bath and I went to Haven 3 to get Aubrey. I figured, you know, it just might (and by just might of course I mean definitely will be) embarrassing, but what the heck. Who can say they danced with Zambian women? Aubrey and I came
back to Haven 2, found Bina Franco and danced in the main room to some music on
the TV. All the workers outside and other Aunties were all staring at us by the
end. It was hilarious. Bina Franco was laughing the entire time. We asked her if
she would teach us their traditional dance later that day when all the babies
were napping and she said she would.<o:p></o:p></div>
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I was able to grab a few more kids for one on one time
before then. Today I worked with Seth, Memory. Maureen, Ella, Vigi, Vera,
Deacon, Joel, Biggie, James, and Maleele. It’s so funny when they see me walk
into the room. They swarm all around and say, “You want to learn me?” while
another says, “And me?” and the other, “You want me?” It’s hard to tell them no
when they ask it like that.<o:p></o:p></div>
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After learning for a couple more hours Aubrey and River came
back over to Haven 2 to learn some of the dances. We went to the back room and
they closed the door, pulled all the curtains, and proceeded to teach us “the
bedroom dance.” Yep. Women here, before they get married, are put into
isolation for a week and “taught everything they need to know about how
to keep a man” (quoting from Chimuka our language teacher). So when she’s
in isolation one of the things she learns is this dance. Wow. Wow wow wow. And
when it’s 7 Zambian women and 3 little American girls stuffed in a room it’s
even more wow. So after they are finished (again, wow) Aubrey gets the bright
idea to teach them a dance of our own: how to twerk. Yes. I said twerk. They
tried their hardest to do it but it was just straight hilarious. Talk about a
bonding experience.<o:p></o:p></div>
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After teaching some more with the kids it was time to go
With Bina Mbombo out into the village. We walked with River and Aubrey and
their Aunties and split at our usual spot. We walked up right as to sun was
starting to set and, as usual, it never disappoints.<o:p></o:p></div>
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I helped Bina Mbombo sweep away the dirt and cow dung around
her cooking hut and then her father walked by so I was able to meet him. He
looked relatively young so I asked her how old he was and she said, “I don’t
know! “ and then turned to ask him. He's only 57! I helped Bina Mbombo cut tomatoes
and cabbage and then joined her kids outside of the cooking hut and sang and
played games with them. They have a game that’s exactly like duck duck goose
except it’s in Tonga and instead of chasing the person who “gooses” you, you
run in the opposite direction of them and race to the spot.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Bina Mbombo called me into her hut for dinner and we ate
nsima and an egg/tomato mixture. It was so incredibly yummy. After dinner Bina
Mbombo and Mike, Mbombo, Luyando, and a couple of the other village kids came
into her hut and by flashlight we went over the Tonga I had learned this week.
Mike, her second oldest son who looks to me to be at least 16 or 17 years old was
practicing reading the words. He said he can’t read Tonga so it was good
practice for him.<o:p></o:p></div>
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It occurred to me then the differences of the values found
between cultures. Thinking back to when Bina Mbombo had to ask her dad how old he was, I couldn’t imagine someone having no idea how old their
parents are. And it’s very uncommon for the typical junior/senior in America to
not know how to read their first language. Initially my response is to find it
sad. But then it occurs to me—who cares if Bina Mbombo knows how old her dad
is? As though knowing facts about someone shows how much you love them. She
loves and appreciates him the same way I love my dad. And who cares if Mike
can’t read Tonga? As though your reading level shows how intelligent you are.
Written word hasn’t ever been a priority here like it has been in the States, so why would it be sad that he doesn't perform at an American standard? He's not American. He knows more about other things than I ever will. Today I just realized just how different our values can be and how NOT sad those
differences are. They’re just different. Nothing else.<o:p></o:p></div>
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After practicing our words we stepped outside and I marveled
at the stars yet again. I wish so badly I could memorize them.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Tonight we were all tired so we went to bed earlier than
last week, all of us tucked away by 7:30 PM. Hilarious. But it gets dark here
by 6:30 and once they’ve eaten and done a hard day’s work it’s time for sleep. Needless to say I was asleep by 8 (sorry Dad for ever making fun of you for
going to bed by 9:30).<o:p></o:p></div>
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I was restless in the night waking up every hour until 6
when Bina Mbombo called me into the other room to have porridge. We ate and
talked for a bit before walking back to the Havens. We found Aubrey and River
on the road and all walked together. We parted ways from the Aunties, thanked
them for the night, and walked back to Meagan’s to put our bags down and get
ready for the day.</div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Sunrise on the road back to Meagan's.</td></tr>
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When we got back to the house Meag was still sleeping so we
walked to the Hamby to find Emmett and Cindy and James. We drank some coffee
and talked with them some about what they’ve been up to and planned to have
some sort of game night with them soon. They’re so fun.<o:p></o:p></div>
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We got back to Meag’s found her awake, so we got ready and
went back to the Havens for our last day at our particular Haven this week. I worked one
on one with a couple of the kids before their language class. They watched
Frozen today. They are so well mannered and they all sat so still. It was so funny
because one by one they started falling asleep in their little plastic chairs.
Joseph, one of the little boys sitting in front of me almost fell backwards in
his chair so the rest of the time I was holding his head as he slept. So funny.
Every time I watch Frozen I think of sweet Kailey Massey. I don’t know how life
after death works as far as what kind of consciousness there is of this world,
but if she does know what’s going on here I couldn’t help but think of how
happy her heart must be knowing her favorite kids in the world at her favorite
place in the world were watching one of her favorite movies in the world. Sweet serendipity.<o:p></o:p></div>
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After language class we woke everyone up and headed to Haven
2 for nsima time. I fed Vera today. That girl. There is RARELY a time a smile
is not on her face. All you have to do is lock eyes with her from across the
room, smile, and she’s laughing. I could just squeeze the life out of her
hugging her so hard, wanting her to know how much she’s loved. Meagan always
says she feels like she can never get them close enough to her and I know
exactly what she means.<o:p></o:p></div>
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I worked one on one with Maureen, Joseph, Reuben, Ella,
Vigi, Vera, Joel, Biggie, and James. They’re all so smart. It’s sweet how even
when I have them actively counting or sorting things they always end up asking
for a book. It’s pretty precious how all they want is a lap and a story.<o:p></o:p></div>
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We left the Havens early to go to Kell Hamby’s memorial
service. Kell is the son of Ellie Hamby (the head honcho of Zambia Medical
Mission/the board/life here at Namwianga). Kell died from cancer a few weeks
ago. Ellie and her daughter got to Zambia today and came straight to the memorial
service from the airport. I couldn’t imagine. When they got there everyone stood up as they
entered. The service consisted of songs and a couple of speeches by people dear
to the Hamby family. We formed a massive greeting line at the end so everyone
could greet Mrs. Hamby in order to “keep the pressure off of the Hamby family
household” per Ba Siaziyu. Speaking of, it was really great seeing Ba Siaziyu
(our HIZ 2012 language teacher) and Ba Moonga (our HIZ 2012 cultural
storyteller) again. Hearing their voices brings so many memories to mind.<o:p></o:p></div>
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After the service we came back to the house and Meag and
Aubrey and I played Yahtzee and took showers before making dinner. I went to
the solar showers since it was right at sundown (when the temperature of the
water has gone down enough to not scald you but is still warm from the day) and
I had my first real shower since being here. It was incredible. The other days
have either been so hot you can barely splash yourself to sponge bathe, so cold you can’t
breathe, or right when you finally get your hair wet
enough to get shampoo in it the water runs out so you have to finish in the
kitchen sink. You can’t help but notice the little things here.<o:p></o:p></div>
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We talked over dinner about some of the difficult situations
some of the babies come from and the like. I was able to ask her some of the
questions I’d been wanting to ask. Like if she ever feels trapped here, like she couldn’t leave even if she wanted to. It was
really good conversation.<o:p></o:p></div>
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It’s Friday night so we finished the day at the Merritt’s
singing. It’s so good getting together with so many different ages and kinds of
people. George, one of the Eric’s House boys who’s probably 10 or 11 if I had
to guess, came and climbed on my lap while we were singing and was showing me
all of his drawings he had done in this composition book he had. They were so
good. There was a page full of animals and he would ask me which animal I
thought was the strongest and which was the fastest and which was the scariest.
I’m so thankful for the vision of Roy Merritt for that place. It’s given second
and third and fifteenth chances to good kids. We ended the night with
fun/dancing songs like always and in that moment I realized how long it had
been since I had felt this kind of joy. There were Eric’s House guys, employees
of the Namwianga radio station and college students behind me, my co-interns
beside me, and Meagan and the Merritts and all the smaller kids in front of me.
We were all on our feet clapping and dancing and singing at a near shout. I’d
almost forgotten how to feel that free in community. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">June 28, 2014<o:p></o:p></b></div>
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This morning was sleep in day (praise) but I couldn’t sleep
past 8:30 (dang it).<o:p></o:p></div>
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I caught up on some emails and laid on Meag’s bed with
Aubrey talking until it was time to get ready to go. We asked Emmett if he would take us fishing today and he agreed! We had no idea what to expect but we walked for about 45 minutes and came upon this huge lake. We walked through brush and wheat fields as tall as me. It was insane and I was convinced at least one snake had been under our steps. It was so beautiful though. </div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEikuam8g1JkDjEZMtQgD57-WFvkmCiH86oeoz1NEegjD68KY6l0CGapD0XaPqpo1YW6GxdkVoCv6v2ch8-ohysU8BLkOweGwFVXawjBCvB0JDridQb8J_f_X48Hug_NBmyDS4fZKBBcv5g/s1600/DSC_0184.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEikuam8g1JkDjEZMtQgD57-WFvkmCiH86oeoz1NEegjD68KY6l0CGapD0XaPqpo1YW6GxdkVoCv6v2ch8-ohysU8BLkOweGwFVXawjBCvB0JDridQb8J_f_X48Hug_NBmyDS4fZKBBcv5g/s1600/DSC_0184.jpg" height="320" width="178" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Our brave and fearless leader, Emmett</td></tr>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
We walked around the lake and got to the side of the bank where we found some Zambians also fishing. We got the poles Emmett made himself, baited our worms, and threw in the line. There were brim and some other kind of fish but we had absolutely no luck. Emmett walked past us around some trees to see if we could find a way out of the shade and into a better spot. We just hear him yell in the distance which we thought was weird but didn't think anything else about it. He came back around the bend and told us he had come across a cobra nest. The mother dropped in front of him and slid into the water. He was so cool, calm, and collected telling us...needless to say, us girls were pretty terrified. After a little while longer of the fish taking our worms but not staying long enough for us to catch them, we left and walked back around the lake where we came from. We waded in the water and skipped some rocks. On the way back we talked with Emmett about his adventures. He used to work for the Peace Corps and has been everywhere you can think almost. We asked what his favorite place he's been was and he said, "It's kind of like holding babies. Your favorite is whatever one you're holding at the time." So true. He asked us about ourselves, our parents, and other important people in our lives and what we think will be the most difficult personal lesson we'll learn in the next 5 years. Such a cool guy.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
After fishing we came back to the house, cooked breakfast for dinner, and went to enjoy a bonfire with the ASU interns and Emmett. I was also able to Skype Daniel for a good couple of hours which will always be a good ending to the day. A couple of the Harding girls from the HIZ 2013 group came late tonight to stay with us for a few days before going to their internship in Macha.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I love this place.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And not in an idealistic fantasy kind of way that puts this
actual location of Zambia on a pedestal. I love it
for the exact opposite actually. I love it because it challenges me. I love it because
it makes me ask really hard questions. I love it because it makes me see things
about world and maybe even about God that I don’t want to.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I'm ready to keep learning, keep growing, and keep asking.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Holly Sullivan Jarchowhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16363157548552109883noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5117010090277886582.post-79836699228409271202014-06-21T06:04:00.000-07:002014-08-05T08:11:48.312-07:00Week 1: Haven on Earth<div class="MsoNormal">
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<span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: Times, Times New Roman, serif; font-size: x-small;">After walking to the Havens I look down at my feet. Sand
mixed with dirt in every crevice of my Chacos possible. I step onto the veranda
of Haven 1 and am immediately swarmed with smiling faces and outstretched arms.
I sit down and in an instant I have 6 little ones straddling my legs. My toes
are being used as personal pacifiers while my ankles are soaked from a little
one’s wet pants. After being climbed over, cried at, hair pulled in every way,
pulled, spit up, and drooled on for a few hours it’s time to walk back to
Meag’s before sunset. On our trek back we follow the small trail of sand that
has been formed from the feet of many many people who have made that same walk
many many times. We make it to the porch right as the sun disappears. My feet
are encased with dried slobber, dried baby urine, and now the dry dust. I take
off my shoes and see what looks like a tan line but are actually outlines
separating clean from the day’s journey. I scrub them from top to bottom and
watch the dirty water trickle to and down the drain. Well, to some it may be dirty
water. To me, it’s the evidence I’ve loved hard that day.</span></span></h2>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">June 12-14, 2014<o:p></o:p></b></div>
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<br /></div>
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Well. Here we are.<o:p></o:p></div>
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A six-week internship to Kalomo, Zambia at Namwianga
Mission where I studied abroad Fall of 2012.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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This blog will serve as both a travel log (recounting the
order of events that take place each day) and a journal to the day’s happenings
(a more personal unfolding of what I’m learning and experiencing about myself
and mission work in Zambia).<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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The traveling adventure began waking up early and meeting
the co-interns, River and Aubrey, at the Memphis airport. I pulled up to the
drop-off door only to find Daniel had surprised me with a visit to see me off.
There’s so much I could insert here about the kind of man Daniel is and all he
has meant to me over the past year but then this entry would become pages about
him, and I wouldn’t feel good about it because it still wouldn’t express what
I’m wanting to say accurately or adequately enough. It was wonderful being able to talk with him for a couple hours, just he and I before saying
goodbye.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Once I made it through security and to the gate we heard an
announcement that there would be a 2-hour delay because the plane hadn’t even
left Chicago to come to Memphis yet. (Thank you thank you thank you to our travel
agent for getting us flights with lots of layover time to leave room for these
kinds of setbacks. Really. Thank you.) It was almost a relief we ended up being
delayed because it gave us three time to unwind and sit for a minute. Our
flight from Memphis to Chicago was smooth and we maneuvered the tram system with
ease, making our way to the international gates with about 5 hours to spare and
a bit more confidence in ourselves. The 7-hour flight from Chicago to London
didn’t feel as long as I thought it might thankfully. We landed, sat, and waited
for our next flight which was to take off 8 hours later to Johannesburg. We
found out there would be another delay of about 2 hours making it 10 hours in
the London airport. This delay made us a little nervous because we didn’t have
our boarding pass for our flight to Livingstone yet so we thought it would
leave us shorthanded on time in Johannesburg to get off the plane, check in
with British Airlines, get our boarding passes for Johannesburg, and find the
next terminal. So we speed walked our fastest (Jeremy would have been so proud
of us) and we ended up making it with 45 minutes to spare. We flew from
Johannesburg to Livingstone, cleared customs, and got our VISAs, putting an end
to our 46-hour journey. We did it. We traveled the world!<o:p></o:p></div>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhVbY8WtXQ1B88x3uaCmFkaup9c4nSE6mrNaZTJ5fJKZAeQOZvPdL_4m89ogcp4fJ1zM3xguq9kKaMEa0WgAoxGPsJkiXZW-Wi3oKdWD07Gl4xOTxovvrr5uw7-ilzf-6oHet0oiC5DgJw/s1600/image-4.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhVbY8WtXQ1B88x3uaCmFkaup9c4nSE6mrNaZTJ5fJKZAeQOZvPdL_4m89ogcp4fJ1zM3xguq9kKaMEa0WgAoxGPsJkiXZW-Wi3oKdWD07Gl4xOTxovvrr5uw7-ilzf-6oHet0oiC5DgJw/s1600/image-4.jpeg" height="320" width="224" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">River and Aubrey, my co-interns</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh5q11e6Z4nS1qP6uXpq4_TjfMrGD3-6DLG0hmCQeo0g4bFd5zg_qGDhwlr5YN29Ydk0DaKotBnTllFPqCubqZG58cGPjROpzknOSydqGc1JibKgHz_t1j4ifG34Ma-_IZZAQWo0-r63QI/s1600/image-2.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh5q11e6Z4nS1qP6uXpq4_TjfMrGD3-6DLG0hmCQeo0g4bFd5zg_qGDhwlr5YN29Ydk0DaKotBnTllFPqCubqZG58cGPjROpzknOSydqGc1JibKgHz_t1j4ifG34Ma-_IZZAQWo0-r63QI/s1600/image-2.jpeg" height="240" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">We made it to Johannesburg!</td></tr>
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We went to baggage claim and the only bag missing was one of
my checked bags full of Haven goods. The great thing is, even if it doesn’t get
here until much later all of it is Meagan’s to keep anyway, so it worked out pretty
perfectly.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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We walked through the sliding doors and were greeted by Meagan
and JOEL. Yep. The one and only. We ran to meet and hug Meagan’s neck and Joel
was left standing there just staring. Meagan called him over and he took a
couple of wobbly steps and stood there watching us. We walked to him, bent down,
and Meagan told him to give us a hug in Tonga and he did, one by one. I
couldn’t believe it was happening. I just couldn’t accept the fact that I had
Joel in my grasp again. But I did. I did.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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I went to lost baggage in an office in another building, to
give information regarding my bag, and met Meagan, River, and Aubrey and Joel
back at Meag’s car. We loaded up and headed to the grocery store. We stocked up
on food and things we need for lunch and dinner for the next week or so and
then made our drive back to Namwianga. Meagan caught us up on recent Namwianga
news and I sat in the back with Joel laughing and squeezing and just looking at
him. He started dozing so I unstrapped him and held him until he fell asleep.
Heaven on earth is a real thing.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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We turned onto the Namwianga road and everything became
incredibly surreal. Almost like this time it wasn’t the real thing and didn’t
actually count, because we weren’t on a bus singing and laughing with the rest
of our HIZ group. But it was real and we are actually here. We drove down the
dirt road (just as bumpy as I remember) and pulled up to the Havens. Meag
dropped Joel off and we made our rounds around the three houses for Meagan to
introduce us to all the new babies. We were met by Seth and Carol and Mamma and
Betty and Jennifer and all the familiar faces. There’s a completely new set of
babies so I left feeling like it was the first time all over again. We picked
up Mercy, a baby having some serious diarrhea and vomitting that will be living
in Meagan’s house with us so she can monitor more closely how she’s doing.<o:p></o:p></div>
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We went across the street and went to Eric’s House to meet
Jason and Cyntia for the first time. They moved here a year and a half ago so
we didn’t have the chance of meeting them last time. Meagan chatted with Cyntia
while we played with Bright and George, two boys we met two falls ago. We
stopped in at Roy and Cathy Merritt’s house, found Cathy and chatted with her
for a bit before coming back to Meagan’s house. We walked over to the Hamby to
say hello to the HIZ-Path group and I saw Webster, a night watchman who was
here last time. He was amazed to see us for a second time and embraced us so
tightly. Walking back to Meag’s, the stars were out like crazy. I mean it’s not
a few stars like at home. It’s galaxies. “Beautiful” is the only word I know
but that’s definitely not the right one. We came back to Meag’s, cooked grilled
cheese, and sat and talked about our schedule for the summer.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Here’s what it’ll look like as of now:<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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Every Sunday morning we will be traveling to the same
village church and worshipping with Meagan and the people there. Every Sunday
afternoon we’ll go to the Havens and pick up a baby we feel needs extra one on
one time or just a baby we really have connected with. And then Sunday nights
are dedicated to singing at the Johnson (heck yes).<o:p></o:p></div>
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Monday through Thursday mornings we’ll have language class from
8:00-9:30 and then around 10 AM we’ll go to the Havens. Each intern will be in separate
Havens for a week and will then switch to the next when the new week begins.
This coming week I will be in Haven 1 (newborns and infants), Aubrey in Haven 2
(walking toddlers and older), and River in Haven 3 (babies of all ages who need
closer attention for medical reasons). Each day we are responsible for spending
one-on-one time with every baby in our assigned Haven, working on their specific
developmental needs. Meagan is going to give us a list of each child’s status
and where they need to be. We were also each given an additional child (not in
our Haven) that needs extra special attention due to physical ailments or needs
extra therapy or whatever the case may be. I got Joel and will be working on some
additional massaging and therapies for his CP, as well as trying techniques to
increase his speech production. He’s incredibly smart and definitely
understands what’s going on, we’ve just got to work on getting it out. I can’t
believe I’m getting to apply what I’ve been learning. And apply it like now. It
makes me so excited.<o:p></o:p></div>
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We’ll leave the Havens after 5 or so every evening and walk
back to Meagan’s, cook dinner, and do whatever the schedule calls for that
night.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Monday nights Meagan and us three interns are going to talk
through a book called <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Now What. </i>Meagan
said it walks through the experience of going on a short term mission trip and
how people come back usually left feeling like they want to do some sort of
mission work but they don’t know how or what. So Monday nights will be our debriefing
and processing time. I’m really excited.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Tuesday nights are still up in the air but we’re thinking we
may deem it as a game/card night with Jason and Cyntia.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Wednesday nights we’ll have a 9<sup>th</sup> grade girls’
Bible study at Meagan’s, working through the book <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Follow Me </i>by David Platt.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Thursday nights we won’t come back to Meagan’s for dinner
and will each leave from the Havens with an Auntie to go into her village and
stay the night with her family and community there. Each of us interns has been
assigned a different Auntie and the great news is we get to stay with the same Auntie
each week! I was assigned Ba Beatrice whom I love. Meag told me there are about
5 Aunties who live close in proximity to her so it will be a party. Yes. Friday
mornings we’ll be walking back to the Havens with our Auntie so we won’t have
language class but we will still spend the day working at the Havens. Talk
about TGIF.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Friday nights we’ll sing at the Merrit’s house (HECK yes).<o:p></o:p></div>
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It’s such a different feeling being here again. It’s just as
wonderful as I thought it would be. It does feel like something is missing, and
there is; our group. I didn’t realize how much of a difference it would make.
But as we walked around I was left thinking of all the memories attached to so
many people and the story after story. Webster and the owl, sitting behind the
bunkhouses under the trees, the containers at night, the same smell of Zambian
earth with the faint twinge of smoke, the Hamby porch where we had class and
where we tried the cinnamon challenge and all of us threw up like 3 times, the
little shack where we washed dishes after meals and a bunch of guys tried to
drown a rat they found, cabana talk, the Johnson where we did our award winning
Zambian independence performance, it’s so so strange standing in the middle of
those places once again. I think the whole experience will in fact be different
but I also know some new and meaningful memories will be made this time around.
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
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Expectations. A lot of people feel guilty for them but I
think they’re good to have for an experience. Whether or not you want to admit
them, or if you never even think to think about what they are, everyone has
expectations. Expectations of what you’re hoping to give and what you’re
expecting to gain. It’s only natural. You eat a meal, you expect to get full.
You study for a prolonged period of time, you expect the test material to be
familiar and to be able to give the information requested. You are accepted for
a 6-week internship in another country, you gotta expect something. I think
expectations are a natural part of living.<o:p></o:p></div>
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And I think they can even be that much more useful when you
find the importance in expressing them. They function the same as an
accountability partner. By thinking through and writing down what I want to
give and get this summer, I’m creating a standard for every minute of this
experience. At any and every moment of these six weeks I should be able to look
at this list and say “Yes. As far as it depends on me, these things are
happening.”<o:p></o:p></div>
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Taking the time to make these lists has made me realize what
I want to get and what I want to give are actually the same thing. Some express
themselves differently, but they all are an extension from the same source.<o:p></o:p></div>
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So, here they are. My list of my expectations:<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">What do I want to
give?:<br style="mso-special-character: line-break;" />
<!--[if !supportLineBreakNewLine]--><br style="mso-special-character: line-break;" />
<!--[endif]--><o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo3; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]--><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Love.</b>
To the kids, the Aunties, any local or person for that matter I may come into
contact with, Meagan, my co-interns, whoever.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l2 level1 lfo4; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]--><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">A serving
heart.</b> Hands that are actually helpful rather than in the way.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l1 level1 lfo2; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]--><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Encouragement
to Meagan. </b>I know all three of us would love nothing more than to lay at
Meagan’s feet and provide some sort of safe place where she can express her
wisdom, concerns, and grief.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="mso-list: l3 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]--><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">A better representation
of American Christians.</b> To try in some way to remove the belief, even in
just one person, that white people only come with the intention to rescue, and
rather in its place offer a learner’s spirit. I want the Aunties to feel value
and see significance in the knowledge they have to offer. I need what they know
to be successful this summer. I want them to know and feel that from me. <br />
<!--[if !supportLineBreakNewLine]--><br style="mso-special-character: line-break;" />
<!--[endif]--><o:p></o:p></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">What do I want to
get?:<br style="mso-special-character: line-break;" />
<!--[if !supportLineBreakNewLine]--><br style="mso-special-character: line-break;" />
<!--[endif]--><o:p></o:p></b></div>
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<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]--><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Love. </b>From
the kids, the Aunties, Meagan, my co-interns, and to tangibly feel it from the
Father.<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l3 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]--><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">A serving
heart. </b>Hands whose first instinct is to serve. Hands that serve more
readily, more sacrificially, more diligently, more painfully, just more.<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpMiddle" style="mso-list: l3 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]--><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Encouragement</b>
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">in my faith from Meagan.</b> How does
she handle the hard questions and God-awful realities? What is her healthy way
of approaching God while being angry and happy and doubtful and thankful? What
makes her continue to believe that He is good?<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="mso-list: l3 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<!--[if !supportLists]--><span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;">·<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span><!--[endif]--><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">A better
representation</b> <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">of mission work in
Zambia.</b> What would it be like to live here? What if I did this? Could I?
Will I? Thankfully I’ve rid myself of the idea that to do mission work (both
abroad and in the States) you have to be this radical spiritual fanatic who has
dreads, a Hebrew tattoo, and talks softly. I know the only thing God needs is a
submissive and obedient person that looks for the Him in other people and
participates in their finding Him by entering into their situation. I want to
gain a fuller picture of what that looks like here and if it’s something I
might do.<br />
<!--[if !supportLineBreakNewLine]--><br style="mso-special-character: line-break;" />
<!--[endif]--><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><o:p></o:p></b></div>
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<br /></div>
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When the six weeks is over and I’m stepping off of my last
flight and treading back onto American soil, I expect to say this summer this
was an experience that has increased my endurance to spiritual and physical
trials, drained me of myself and what I feel are my “rights” (which I really
have no claim to at all so that’s funny), and forced vigor and strength of
confidence into my soul.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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It’s going to be a summer of exhaustion, but the kind of
exhaustion that comes from loving hard. I’m going to be challenged but that’s
the very thing I keep asking God for anyway.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">June 15, 2014<o:p></o:p></b></div>
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<br /></div>
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We woke up this morning and were met with the familiar
Zambian way: a change of plans. We were going to go with Meagan to the village
church we’ll be going to every Sunday, but Mercy was vomiting all night and
having diarrhea all morning so she stayed behind and we went to Johnson church.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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We walked there, sat right in the middle, and let the
Zambian voices wash over us. There’s nothing that I can compare it to so I’ll
let it remain what it is: something that can only be understood when heard with
your own two ears. It’s just home.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The typical Zambian service is to have songs and a prayer
and more songs and then the Lord’s Supper and then the lesson followed by more
songs. (Singing is a constant theme here in every kind of get together or
service.) The Lord’s Supper is seen like its own lesson every week so each
church service can be any length. Today it was 2.5 hours but it’s not uncommon
for it to be up to 4. After church we came back to Meag’s, unpacked some and
then went to the Hamby to eat leftovers for lunch with the ACU interns and a
couple of the American teachers and missionaries on the mission. It was great
meeting them and getting to know them a little better. Emmett is an older man
who is “a jack of all trades” or so we’re told. He moved here last summer and
is a mechanic/engineer trying to find a better solution for some of the water
problems they’re having. He also has a hammock. We’ve already planned to hang
out and hammock so I think we’re going to be good friends. Cindy is a professor
from Texas who moved here this May and is teaching a few classes. We chatted
for a while last night about her job of teaching and how much she enjoys it.
She is just so incredibly sweet. I will love getting to know her more. <o:p></o:p></div>
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We came back to the house and napped for a couple of hours
before going on a walk with Meagan and Mercy. We walked some and then I decided
to run some to get back on my running schedule so I ran ahead and met the girls
back at the house. We went to Johnson church since it’s a Sunday night and the
singing did not disappoint. It’s so forceful and strong all I can do is close
my eyes and know this is what Heaven has to be like. It stirs the soul. Roy
Merritt, the missionary who was born and raised here, is in the middle of a
series about the body being a temple. Apparently he started last week with the
lesson being about how your temple must rest firm on the Rock. Tonight he
talked about how your temple will be tested by both God and Satan. He talked
about how firey trials will either refine you or destroy you and gave four big
fires we may face: the fire of poor health, the fire of sex, the fire of
prosperity and riches, and the fire of persecution. He spoke most about the
last one and talked about the persecution situation in a lot of African
countries. It was really eye opening and exactly what I’ve needed to hear
lately. A group got up to sing for everyone and then three girls decided they
wanted to be baptized. The cheers and applause were deafening.<o:p></o:p></div>
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After the service ended we came back to Meag’s and made
breakfast for dinner. We got the coffee pot hooked up and chatted with Meagan
for a couple of hours about so many different things.<o:p></o:p></div>
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I’m so sad because today is Mom’s birthday and Father’s Day
and I haven’t gotten to talk to either of them since our Internet information
is not up and running quite yet. I miss them and I have been thinking about
them especially more today.<o:p></o:p></div>
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It was such a great day and every moment feels more like
home. I’ve realized that this time I want to find out more about stories. Like
with the Aunties and the people we meet walking on the road, Emmett and Cindy
and the ACU interns, I just want to know more about who people are, how they
got here, and what they think about. It’s such a unique thing this time around
to have so many interesting people in one place and having the luxury of
picking their brains about their experiences.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Tomorrow is our first day of work at the Havens. I am so
ready and nervous and excited all at the same time. It’s happening!<br />
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">June 16, 2014<o:p></o:p></b></div>
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This morning River, Aubrey, and I woke up at 6 and went for
a run. The weather is absolutely perfect for it here. It’s a bit chilly but the
kind that warms right up once you get going. The air is also much thinner here
so breathing has proven to be more of a challenge but it’ll get better with
each day.</div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEitXy3uVHgfBmFnG8vgi52jDfi-GTq78c1mPAQmZOPhzPL7mEcxk01kGRk64ubbRqn-e8-8kv4DLTu3wLN1gSQxGKLDYQUiHNGoZhIcJXZhQMvNJAJYPkDt9qJ2xIIgE2PhQVJlE1kSjWk/s1600/image-2+copy.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEitXy3uVHgfBmFnG8vgi52jDfi-GTq78c1mPAQmZOPhzPL7mEcxk01kGRk64ubbRqn-e8-8kv4DLTu3wLN1gSQxGKLDYQUiHNGoZhIcJXZhQMvNJAJYPkDt9qJ2xIIgE2PhQVJlE1kSjWk/s1600/image-2+copy.jpeg" height="172" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I mean just look at this.</td></tr>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhWD9BeTYLdMbpGMe8V0HXfDmuL_CjauFXpoYebqO2_MaAWP42uhERqKGrEt-0lC8Dz3v51bYZ0mrqfXsrdg2iIB_e2WLhsv_YT5WQx6OHvdiHHWVVvEFBHknF98kVT0C8k9GfI-pCNxRA/s1600/image-3.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhWD9BeTYLdMbpGMe8V0HXfDmuL_CjauFXpoYebqO2_MaAWP42uhERqKGrEt-0lC8Dz3v51bYZ0mrqfXsrdg2iIB_e2WLhsv_YT5WQx6OHvdiHHWVVvEFBHknF98kVT0C8k9GfI-pCNxRA/s1600/image-3.jpeg" /></a></div>
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We got back to Meag’s and showered and had breakfast and coffee. I
read more of <u>Strengthening the Soul of Your Leadership</u> by Ruth Haley
Barton, a book Daniel gave me before leaving. It’s absolutely incredible and
addresses the heart of what’s been happening lately. It was such a peaceful beginning
to the day.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Our language class this morning was taught by Meagan but
from tomorrow and on it will be taught by Meagan’s Zambian next door neighbor.
She just finished grade 12 so it will so great having a new friend here. We
learned greetings and conjugations and formal/informal beginnings. It really
helped my understanding and even hearing Meagan’s friends that were in the
house talking I could pick up on more right away.<o:p></o:p></div>
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We went to Havens straight after language class and today
was a dream. I shadowed Ba Pauline in Haven 1. My job today was to follow her
around no matter where she went and to do everything she did. At first I was
nervous about being the only American girl among all Zambian women for the
entire day, but like I said it was great. The work those ladies do is unreal.
They rest and take breaks to hold the babies and talk to each other but they
are unbelievably diligent workers. I got a small taste of every part of their
day.<o:p></o:p></div>
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We started the morning by playing with the babies for a little
bit. Then Pauline and I started lunch. I cut and diced tomatoes and Pauline
showed me how to make soup from them. I helped brown the meat and mix some
nsima as well. Talk about an arm workout. Ba Pauline gave me some tips of how
to hold the wooden spoon to get the most force from it. We divvied up the nsima
and tomato soup in the baby bowls and mixed it all together and fed the babies
lunch. After lunch Be Pauline and I washed dishes and then took the Haven 1 big
girls to Meagan’s language class. They sang songs and worked on counting and
animal sounds and body parts. It was precious seeing the babies participating
as much as they could.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>After language
class we played outside some more and then it was time for the Aunties to have
lunch. We went to the back porch and had nsima and sugarloaf mixed with ground
nuts. The sugarloaf/ground nuts mixture was so so yummy and I ate until I
couldn’t anymore. As I was sitting there on the ground flooded with foreign
language all around me, eating this traditional meal I couldn’t help but laugh
a little wondering what kind of person says they’ve sat in a circle on the
floor among Zambian women, completely alone culturally, eating a total
traditional meal in Africa. It’s hilarious in the moment but I feel fortunate
to know what that’s like.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Afterward Pauline showed me how to mix bottles and I made
the big girls’ bottles for nap time.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I
tag teamed with Pauline getting the girls bathed and ready for napping. She did
the actual bathing and then brought them to me and laid them on the bed. I put
Vaseline all over their skin, pinned on their nappies, dressed them in clothes
and socks, comb-picked their little fros, and laid them in their beds with
their bottle of milk. After all the girls were down we headed outside to the garden
and gathered the washed baby clothes, nappies, blankets, and onesies that were
hanging on the garden fence to dry. We brought them back to the front porch and
Pauline handed me one of those straw brooms that you have to bend down to the
ground to use. So I swept the porch before putting down the clothes and we folded
them together. Bina Rosa who was watching me told me I did an excellent job
which really made me feel better about my efforts because it’s not too often
these women offer a compliment freely. While Pauline and I folded I got to talk
with her about her family and children. She has one of those kinds of
mannerisms that’s different than the typical Auntie. Rather than acting harshly
or just completely passive and not asking me to do anything, she teaches me
ways to be useful and does it alongside me. Like with the bottles and the
dishes, she would soap and I would rinse. Or I would rinse and she would dry. I
really really appreciated her patience and willingness to let me try even
though I was at least four times slower than she would have been with only
herself. After folding and washing we came back outside on the veranda and sat
with some of the babies that weren’t sleeping. I held Lot, a one month just
over 5-pound boy whose entire grasp couldn’t even wrap around my thumb. Ba Pauline,
Bina Rosa and Ba Judy began singing together which isn’t uncommon. They began
singing “And I’m so happy, so very happy, I’ve nvrueihbnfwjvfn.” (The jibberish
represents them trailing off in syllables because they didn’t know the rest of
the words.) So I told them I knew that song and sang the rest for them. And I
also taught them the “And if the Devil doesn’t like it he can sit on a tack.
Ouch” verse as well of course. They loved that. It was such a neat moment singing
with two African women, holding this tiny ball of barely human, in perfect
sunny and slightly windy 70-degree weather. Again, this place feels more like
home everyday. <o:p></o:p></div>
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The babies gradually began waking up and being brought
outside. I held one little one named Oscar who had so many mannerisms like
Aaron. It made me miss him like crazy but it was some sort of nostalgic
comfort. Eventually it was time for feeding again so we rallied the troops
inside and fed them porridge for dinner. I said my goodbyes and went over to
Haven 2 to help Aubrey feed the toddlers dinner but they weren’t ready to eat.
So Aubrey and I sat on the veranda with Ba Beatrice and Ba Belita and the Haven
2 babies and sang songs. Seth and Maurine were our song leaders. It was the sweetest
sound hearing 2-5 year olds sing songs to God. One of the songs was in Tonga
and I asked Ba Beatrice what it meant and she told me it translates into “I
love you God because You have given me __________.” And the kids were filling
in the song with each other’s names. So sweet. While we were singing I look up
and Joel is standing by himself dancing. They began singing “head shoulders
knees and toes” and he did the moves just like everyone else. God has touched
that boy.<o:p></o:p></div>
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At sunset we left and took the back trail so we could get
back to Meag’s before sundown. The path was completely different than it was
last time. The grass was tall and everything was grown as opposed to last time
when everything was leveled from all the controlled burns.<o:p></o:p></div>
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We made it back to Meag’s, cooked dinner, and Meagan went
through each child at the Haven one by one and told us specifically what each
one’s needs are since tomorrow we begin our specialized one on one time with
the kids. It’s pretty amazing to me that Meagan knows each child so well she can
remember every need. We all took notes and then got the good news that our
Internet accounts had been set up. Unfortunately right when we found out, the
power went out. But ya know, you learn to expect nothing less.<o:p></o:p></div>
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I loved every part of today. I loved it because I was able
to see such a gentle side but also such a fun side to the ladies. While the
babies were napping and I was holding Lot, Ba Beatrice and some of the Aunties
went off the porch and began swinging each other on the baby swings. It was
hilarious. I just loved seeing the silly side of them and also having the
privilege of serving beside them from morning to night. Seeing and experiencing
what it’s like for Pauline and many other Aunties every day brought the work of
the Havens into a new perspective. I knew these ladies worked hard and did all
those things but it was just that: THEY did those things. Not me. But now I
have on some small scale. And it’s beautiful to see how tirelessly they work
even when given no thanks. The little ones they serve and look after never
thank them for cleaning up their vomit or diarrhea and they never thank them for
always doing the washing and cooking and cleaning of the pots and nappies and
bottles only to dirty them right again. But the Aunties serve in an attitude that
communicates they don’t expect thanks. And that’s incredible. Today was a good
day and I can’t wait for tomorrow to build greater one on one connections with
the Haven 1 babes. Even if I never see the fruits of this summer’s labor I’d
like to think it still matters and makes some sort of difference. And even if
these moments don’t make a bit of a lasting difference in their development, I
know it would still make a difference in me.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">June 17, 2014<o:p></o:p></b></div>
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This morning River, Aubrey, and I woke up early again and ran. It was much
harder to wake up today but we persevered and did it. We came back and showered
and got ready for language class. Our language teacher’s name is Chimuka and
she is a doll. So kind hearted and patient. She taught us vocabulary words
dealing family and miscellaneous baby things like milk and bottle. We asked her
to tell us random funny words and we all laughed a whole lot.<o:p></o:p></div>
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After language class we went to the Namwianga office and
paid for our Internet and then headed to the Havens. Meagan showed us how to do
massages on the babies from their legs and toes all the way to their eyebrows.
After, we went and helped Meag with centers at her language class. I was with
Vigi and Tracy and we worked on puzzles, animals, animal sounds, and colors.<o:p></o:p></div>
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After centers I started my one on one time. Today I got to
Big Oscar, Little Oscar, Owen, Annie, Kelvin, Edwin, Flo, Priscilla, Zeke, Cipo,
and Binwell. I did everything from massaging, reading, and eliciting
vocalization to puzzles, snap lock beads, and rattles. Every single child was
engaged and compliant. They absolutely soak up the one-on-one time they get.
It’s so much better getting to know them in this way because it gives me a
better grasp on what makes them happy or sad or compliant or totally
uninterested. It’s incredible the difference of personalities in the kids even
at this young age. Dwini (Edwin) is so smiley and playful and full of energy.
But Flo is more of a lover. She definitely moves around and gets her bouts of
energy but she’s not nearly like Edwin. There are so many reasons I love each
of them and each reason is so different. I love Flo’s eyes and I love Pri’s
hair and I love Katie’s smile and I love Binwell’s pride in himself when he
says “bye bye” every 40 seconds because he knows he’s saying something we both
understand. I’m going to really enjoy having all of these little people
one-on-one, growing in trust and growing in relationship with them everyday. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Around lunch Meag, River, Aubs, and I had to go to town to
pick up a package Meagan had and we ate at El Pantano. It’s an outside
restaurant here (well kind of the only restaurant here). We got chicken wrap
fajitas, which just sounded hilarious when we said it out loud. We talked with
Meag and she told us her whole story of getting here. It started with an
internship like this one I’m doing now; a 6-week internship except hers was to
Uganda. She told us about her team and how some of them decided to move and
actually do this kind of thing for life and how she found Namwianga. Originally
she was a part of the street kid ministry so she told us how she became
involved with the formation of the Havens. She’s the coolest. Not really even
because of her interesting life. I just think her heart is the coolest.<o:p></o:p></div>
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After doing one-on-one and folding some laundry and sitting
with the Aunties I spent my last hour with Joel. I took him behind Meagan’s
classroom outside and set up my hammock. We sang songs, pointed to body parts,
went over colors, and counted to twenty. He’s so much more engaged than he was
2 years ago. Even though he is still quiet and not speaking actual words, he
definitely knows what’s going on. He understands me and can point to things
that I ask. Today I worked on opening his mouth when he tries to talk. He
pockets food away in his cheeks and will keep it there for hours. I think that
adds to his unwillingness to open up his mouth because he’s trying to keep it
tucked away. But we got the food out and I made him at least say the vowels in
words and it went pretty well. For example, I asked him what color a certain
toy in my hand was and he answered with a close mouthed grunt. So I would say,
“No. Uh uh, it’s yellow.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And he would
grunt as an attempt again. So I said, “No. Joel. Yeeellooow. Say yeeelloooow.”
(I really will have to emphasize the open mouth with him. He would open his
lips but his teeth would stay closed.) So eventually, because he has next to no
consonant sounds, I gradually broke off consonants until it was only vowels and
we were saying “ehhhhooooooo” together. And he did it no problem, open mouth.
By the end we were counting from 1 to 20 with an open mouth in vowels. I was so
so proud of him.<o:p></o:p></div>
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We walked the path back to Meag’s, and Cathy Merritt,
Cyntia, and Chelsey (intern here doing research), came over and played Hand and
Foot. It was such a blast! We were laughing and joking for 3 whole hours. I
feel so blessed to be around a dinner table playing something as mundane as a
card game with such un-mundane people. All the opportunity for conversation, getting
to know these people I am surrounded by this summer is unbelievable.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">June 18, 2014<o:p></o:p></b></div>
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We set our alarms this morning to run but all of us sat up
at the same time and decided we would sit this one out. It’s been a tiring couple
of days! In language class with Chimuka we learned words for around the house,
animals, time, and spiritual words. Meag woke up feeling sick this morning so
we trekked the trail to the Havens and got started. I worked with Esther and
Lot (the month old twins), Owen, Oswell, Fellow, Lushomo, Wendy, Katie, and
Cipo. I held and fed some and worked on shape sorting and linking with others.
I tried reading books with some of them today and it really worked well. They
all loved the quiet time away from everyone.<o:p></o:p></div>
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I had lunch with the Aunties again today. We had nsima,
beans, and the same groundnut mixture from Monday. It was super super yummy. I
love sitting and listening to them talk to each other.<o:p></o:p></div>
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In between my one-on-one time I helped fold clothes and change
nappies. I tag teamed with Ba Pauline again and got the little girls dressed
while she did the bathing. Sitting on the veranda with the Aunties is so fun
for me. I wish I could talk and be engaged but I hope my effort in my work shows
them my desire to help and be a part.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Around 16:00 everyday (we use military time here) is when
I’ll get Joel and spend an hour with him. Today I set the hammock up again. He
really enjoys it. We read two books. He was so incredibly still. He turned
pages for me and would repeat words I would emphasize on the page (he was close-mouthed
of course). It’s so obvious he wants to be a part of everything and take in as
much as he can. We went over some body parts and did the links again. He really
loves them. Bright and Luke, two elementary boys from Eric’s house came and
greeted me at my hammock and got all the toys out of my bag that I had for
Joel. They told me some about school and we went over colors in Tonga and
English. They were so unbelievably kind. They loved swinging in the hammock
too.<o:p></o:p></div>
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When we got back to Meagan’s house we found her feeling
better. We all cooked spaghetti together for dinner and while we were eating
the power went off. We’re four for four on days that have lost power at some
point and it was so hilarious eating spaghetti by candlelight. Romantic? Haha something
like that. This is Africa. <o:p></o:p></div>
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I was in charge of making treats for the grade 9 girls for
Bible study tonight so I made homemade chocolate chip cookies. The girls are
going through the book <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Follow Me</i> by
David Platt. Meagan’s been talking about ways to know whether or not you are
actually following Christ or just calling yourself a Christian. Last week
Meagan talked about repenting and tonight it was about renouncing. There were
so many girls! They were quiet but sweet. Meagan used an example that I really
liked. She said, “If I tell you I’m a nurse, does that make me a nurse?” and of
course the girls said no, and she continued, “No. What makes me a nurse are the
skills and the knowledge I use. It’s the same way with being a Christian. Just
saying you are doesn’t make it so.” Like I said. I love her. <o:p></o:p></div>
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After they left the four of us sat and talked about school
and clubs and our village visit tomorrow. It’s going to be great. It will be so
tiring working all day at the Havens, leaving from there and walking to Ba
Beatrice’s village, helping her cook/fetch water/play with the kids/”sleep”,
and waking up early enough to walk back to the Havens by 7 AM to work all day
Friday. It will be exhausting but I’m interested to see what all happens,
excited to meet her kids, nervous about what all they’ll try to get me to do,
and wanting to know what Ba Beatrice is like in village life and among family.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">June 19-20, 2014<o:p></o:p></b></div>
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Today’s village day! We deemed
Thursday mornings as our sleep-in day from running so we can get some extra sleep.
In language class with Chimuka we learned colors, numbers, action words, and
some miscellaneous words we may need<o:p></o:p></div>
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At the Havens I jumped right in
again and worked on a whole variety of things. I worked with Esther, Lot,
Oscar, Zeke, Oswell, Kelvin, Binwell, Flo, and Priscilla. There was a group
from Ireland that came and played with all the Haven 1 kids. They blew bubbles
and gave sweets and ran around with them. It was weird being on the other side
of this experience. Although I am a visitor, it still feels different this time
because these visitors only came for a day. It actually made me feel kind of angry
to hear them calling kids by the wrong names and talking to them like they’re
stupid or something. But I know they don’t know better and I should be better.
I think I understand Meag’s feelings towards visitors a little better now when
she tries to explain it. The Havens are a dreamland to people who want to only
drop in and fulfill their African dream of playing with black babies, but
behind the scenes it’s a lot of sweat and work and tears. The kids are just
kids. Not perfect African angels. The Aunties are hardworking moms that are
great at their jobs and earn money for their families, not unintelligible
African women who are harsh for no reason.<o:p></o:p></div>
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After we finished feeding the
babies around 5, Ba Beatrice and I left the Havens and walked the trail to her
house. The villages where Aubrey and River stayed are along the same path as Ba
Beatrice’s village so we all walked together. Walking on the road we passed a
lot of people and animals. There were four huge turkeys not even 5 yards away
from me. I thought about how my Dad and Grandaddy would be beside themselves. We
all sang and danced and practiced our Tonga until we got to the road that leads
to Ba Beatrice’s house where we needed to split ways. It was so much fun
laughing so much. When we parted ways we walked up to her house and the sunset
was unreal. So many shades of red and the sun was pink and perfectly round. Ba
Beatrice began cooking right away. She cut the cabbage while I cut the
tomatoes. I sat with her in her cooking hut outside and helped her stir
whatever she needed me to. Her neighboring hut had the radio blaring and what do you know, on the air was Shania Twain followed by Phil Collins. Sometimes you just have to laugh out loud. It began getting dark and her kids surrounded us as
we were sitting there. We began to sing whatever songs we could think of that
we might all know. Ba Beatrice finished cooking and we ate nsima and cabbage
with tomatoes. It was good like always! I kind of find it hilarious that I
enjoy village food so much. It’s just so not normal but I mean I’m currently in
an African village in the middle of nowhere so I guess I’m not really that
normal as a whole, haha.<o:p></o:p></div>
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The language barrier is always a
challenge here but sometimes it’s just funny. While cooking I asked Ba Beatrice
the names of all of her children and there was a dog running by so I asked her
if the dog had a name too. She just died from laughter. I mean she couldn’t
catch a breath. I didn’t really understand what I had said that was funny until
later after stumbling back and forth between my confusion and her broken
English in between her laughter, I realized she thought I asked her to ask the <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">dog</i> what his name was. Insert liney face
emoji here. But it was funny to her so I’ll take it.<o:p></o:p></div>
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After eating we sat in her house
and all of her kids came inside and we sang the night away. Tonga songs,
English songs, her kids danced, we played games, it was fun. All the kids there
weren’t Ba Beatrice’s, they were from the whole village. There was Maureen,
Rick, Mick, Paul, Luyando, and Libby. The kids didn’t know what to think of
having a makua (Tonga word for white person) in their home, but by the end of
the night they were right beside me laughing and dancing. I pulled out my Tonga
notebook from language class and we went over some words and I quizzed them on
their English. Ba Beatrice said she usually goes to bed around 19:00 (yes
that’s 7:00 PM) but because of our fun we went to bed around 8:30. Be Beatrice
and her daughter Luyando and I stayed in the same room. Ba Beatrice asked me to
pray before bed so I did and right when we said goodnight she turned on the
radio on her phone. It was so incredibly loud and I just laughed to myself. I
knew there was no way I was going to go to sleep now. But after two songs she
turned it off, rolled over, and that was that. I’ll never understand some
things people do here but you learn to go with it. Maybe she has to listen to two songs on the radio every night? I'll never know.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Ba Beatrice woke me up around
6:00 AM and had porridge waiting for me. We ate and then walked to the Havens
during the sunrise. Incredible. She asked me questions about America and what
we eat and our holidays and such. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Today was our last day working
with our Haven for the week so I spent a lot of my individual time with the
kids outside. The weather is perfect here. 70s with a slight breeze. Everyone
was surprisingly compliant and in a good mood. I say surprisingly because the
babies got injections today from Meagan and Ba Fortune (the clinical officer of
the Havens), so they were fussy at first but went straight back to normal. I
fell asleep with Cipo on my chest and put him down and then rocked Big Oscar
only to have him pass out on me too. Today Fellow was the most talkative he’s
been since I’ve been around him so it’s sad I’m having to go since that it’s
taken me so long to open some of them up. <o:p></o:p></div>
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We also got a new baby today!
His name is Watupa meaning “He was given to us.” Meagan said his mother had
died the day before so his aunt brought the baby to the Havens because there
are many other kids in the family and they don’t know what to do with them all
so they need whatever help wherever they could find it. <o:p></o:p></div>
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I spent my hour with Joel and he
did so so well. He’s gotten so good at body parts and he’s still as easy going
as ever. I’m so proud of him.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Finishing the day, Meagan,
River, Aubs, and I helped feed dinner at Haven 3 and then came back to Meag’s
and had dinner ourselves. Emmett came by the house and announced my bag had
finally come in! It was like Christmas. We were unpacking all of the treats I
had brought Meag for the babies.<o:p></o:p></div>
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After that we left and sang at
the Merritt’s. A about 30 or so people come. Some of them are missionaries
living here, some are the kids and street boys, and then some are college
students that go here. We sang for a couple of hours and wow have I missed
that. There are no other sounds like the ones there.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Coming back from the Merritt’s
we sat outside for a bit with Meag’s night guard, Ba Patrick. We pulled out
some s’more stuff and used his charcoal warmer to make them! We sat outside and
listened to Meagan share her health horror stories from being over here. They
were terrifying and hilarious all at the same time.</div>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEivdw68t3rrxtxRMukFarJtZQ6Q-KyRgOMNdi2Q0flCzS7SCvnvowTp8t-ahPyUSlne0rt8OYFs4pVNRMvQOo2h22C9L7CzSjSkePKyWnGdh5iPEE8LxCRTUywQrQt0E66jxhJhfCkHCxI/s1600/DSC_0166.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEivdw68t3rrxtxRMukFarJtZQ6Q-KyRgOMNdi2Q0flCzS7SCvnvowTp8t-ahPyUSlne0rt8OYFs4pVNRMvQOo2h22C9L7CzSjSkePKyWnGdh5iPEE8LxCRTUywQrQt0E66jxhJhfCkHCxI/s1600/DSC_0166.JPG" height="232" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">River, Aubrey, Ba Patrick, Meag, and Mercy (with the look of determination for that marshmallow). </td></tr>
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We came inside and ended up
staying up and talked to Meag about her life and where she is now with certain
things. I love her realness so much. This whole experience is something I can
never be thankful enough for especially under someone like her. It’s nothing
short of a privilege.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">June
21, 2014<o:p></o:p></b></div>
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<br /></div>
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Today’s our off day so we slept
in! PTL. We woke up and walked over to the Hamby to use the coffee pot there
since our coffee pot Aubrey brought zitted out. RIP. But! The Hamby never
fails. We got to start our morning right.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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<br /></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg21mQ3qwMnH0AD4zAZPQRC8bE0_mIZecgaF5AwvWe1QDoBwKuiU8kyK64epIESaTWW2AjO__4I7gKv3BO7grXozjiHeE5KgqMPQpLWDYZO3DFcvqY3jFhkWjo13O5B2A-Bnpkt-bDhfGQ/s1600/DSC_0171.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg21mQ3qwMnH0AD4zAZPQRC8bE0_mIZecgaF5AwvWe1QDoBwKuiU8kyK64epIESaTWW2AjO__4I7gKv3BO7grXozjiHeE5KgqMPQpLWDYZO3DFcvqY3jFhkWjo13O5B2A-Bnpkt-bDhfGQ/s1600/DSC_0171.JPG" height="211" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">It's the little things.</td></tr>
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<br /></div>
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We basically just lazed around
all morning. We talked to Meag some, Emmett came over just to check and see how
we were, and I caught up on some emails. It was the rest I needed after a go go go week.<o:p></o:p><br />
<br />
Rivs and Aubs and I decided to go for a run since we'd taken the past couple of days off. It was such perfect weather. The kind where right when you get too hot, huge gusts of wind come for a few minutes. It was so great and refreshing.<br />
<br />
We wanted to take a shower but Meag's house has been out of water so we went to the good ole solar showers. We came home and started cooking tacos with Meagan. I made guacamole and it was just a grand spread. Such a treat.<br />
<br />
After we decided we wanted some hot chocolate but because Meagan doesn't have water we walked to the Hamby house where the ACU interns are staying in hopes that they might have some. We met Otis and Kathy, two professors from Abilene who are visiting. We got to talking with them about what we're doing here and mentioned how we were all interested in some sort of work like this but not quite sure what or where and Kathy asked if she could pray over us and our futures. So we all stood in a circle as she prayed over us. I'm telling you, there are some cool people here.<br />
<br />
We came back to Meag's and ended up sitting at the table for hours playing Phase 10 and then ended up just talking. We talked about guys, books she recommends, family, sin, and everything in between.<br />
<br />
I just can't believe it's the close of the first week. On one hand it feels like it's been 3 weeks and on the other it feels like we just got here last night. Time is only going to move faster and I just want to soak up every second I can because I know the empty feeling that so quickly finds me once it's over. Wishing I could re-live these moments and re-have these conversations. I want to be used up and worn out so I can rest easy when that empty feeling does come, knowing I did everything. To the very best of my ability. Making myself uncomfortable on purpose and learning at least one new thing about myself. At least.<br />
<br />
"This life is not for the weak" is a reoccurring theme in a lot of our conversations with Meag and I'm realizing that more at the end of each day. I'm so thankful for this place and the blessing it can be if I let it change me. Just thinking about the beauty that can come from a life that allows God to direct each thought and attitude. What could happen if I let Him take me beyond myself and into the heart of the matter? It's pretty exciting and sobering.<br />
<br /></div>
</div>
Holly Sullivan Jarchowhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16363157548552109883noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5117010090277886582.post-17188254336093415372014-06-06T00:09:00.002-07:002014-06-06T10:36:10.012-07:00Nams qualms<div class="MsoNormal tr_bq">
One week.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
One week is all that separates my feet from Namwianga soil.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It’s hard to understand or even accept it. I do this thing
where I act like big things aren’t actually happening until they’re actually
happening. So right now I’m in this in-between of not being able to believe
that I’m headed back and being stoked out of my mind.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Well, stoked and nervous.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Actually extremely nervous.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But not in the same way as pre-study abroad days.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
This time around I know that I really only need a week’s
worth of clothes and I actually don’t need sunscreen or a hair dryer or even a
plug converter. I know what “the bush” will look like and I know what the
people will look like and I know what my bed will look like. I can see the path
to the Havens and the purple-bloomed trees that line the road and the Hamby
porch. I know the voice of Ba Beatrice and Mamma and Meagan. I know the smell
of nsima cooking and African rain and dirty nappies.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
No, my nervousness is not in the unknown this time, but the
known.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Along with all of the aforementioned good things, I also know the toll this
place can take on a heart, soul, and mind.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I know the restless nights after the difficult news of
sobering realities: a child leaving the Havens to return to their village
taking half of your heart with them, a newborn tested positive for HIV/AIDS, the
death of a baby.<o:p></o:p><br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
______________</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
This past spring semester has been one of the most difficult in my
life.<o:p></o:p><br />
I was challenged in ways I wish I hadn't been and in ways I needed.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I attended 3 funerals and grieved the year anniversary of my
Grandaddy in the month of January. The different kinds and levels of grief I
experienced over the different losses are too complex to recount over a blog
post so I’ll save the time and space. I took Living World Religions with Monte Cox and
had the invaluable teaching of the world’s major religions and then the
priceless experience of traveling to Dallas and engaging in the worship of a
Hindu temple, Buddhist temple, mosque, Sikh temple, Bahai center, a synagogue,
and a Sokka Gakkai place of worship. Every experience was eye opening and caused a million questions
(at least). Do I really believe that the 12-14 year old girls I talked
to at the Sikh temple that sweetly asked me about college and what I like to do while serving me food are actually going
straight to hell if they die? Or the Jews in the synagogue that even pray to the same
God as me, does God not hear their 2 hour-long chants of pure desperation for
His guidance? Or what about the people we talked to in many of the places who said they actually tried
Christianity but found it to be “dead” so they committed to something they
found more “life-giving”? It only begs the question of, “God, where were
you when those people were seeking? Why didn’t you show up?”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
These are only a few of the questions that made their home in my mind on a daily basis.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Some of them I’ve worked through and some visit often.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So by the end of the semester when I felt like thoughts couldn't possibly fill any more
space in my mind, news of a family friend’s sudden unexpected passing, the worsening of a loved one’s Alzheimer’s, death finding
the mothers of three of my Harding classmates, and a peer’s
parents’ adulterous divorce made their way onto the list.<br />
<br />
It’s difficult to feel like God is a Father who cares. Which
sounds ridiculous taking into consideration all He has proved through His Son
and the evidences of His goodness in this life. But when evil after evil
happens, I don't want to look at the good. I want to understand the bad.<br />
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
This semester I’ve felt abandoned, confused, happy, angry, excited,
tired, and thankful. And to be completely honest I’m fearful that this “series of
unfortunate events” might just decide to continue into the summer with what I know about the way of life in Zambia. The known, not the unknown, is what scares me. I don’t like
thinking that I could spend the summer in constant doubt of God being good or
God being there at all. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I realize this isn’t your typical white girl post about being super
excited to be journeying to Africa and how ready I am to hug black babies and see all
the ways God will change me. Don't get me wrong, I reluctantly admit that I am your typical white girl when it comes to those things and I am excited about all of it. But my goal this semester is to keep this window into my life as honest
as possible. I’m ready to see what God has in store for me to learn but I’m
also scared out of my mind of what that means I will be met with and what I will find. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I picked up <u>A Grief Observed</u> last week and have found
it to be extremely comforting. There’s something to be said about experiencing
someone else’s grief and allowing it to help you with your own. In it C.S.
Lewis writes:<u><o:p></o:p></u></div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="color: #999999;">Meanwhile, where is God? This is one of the most disquieting
symptoms. When you are happy, so happy that you have no sense of needing Him,
so happy that you are tempted to feel His claims upon you as an interruption,
if you remember yourself and turn to Him with gratitude and praise, you will be
— or so it feels — welcomed with open arms. But go to Him when your need is
desperate, when all other help is vain, and what do you find? A door slammed in
your face, and a sound of bolting and double bolting on the inside. After that,
silence. You may as well turn away. The longer you wait, the more emphatic the
silence will become. There are no lights in the windows. It might be an empty
house. Was it ever inhabited? It seemed so once. And that seeming was as strong
as this. What can this mean? Why is He so present a commander in our time of
prosperity and so very absent a help in time of trouble? </span><span style="color: #999999;">Not that I am (I think) in much danger of ceasing to believe
in God. The real danger is of coming to believe such dreadful things about Him.</span></span> </blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="color: #999999;">The conclusion I dread is not "So there's no God after all," but "So this is
what God's really like. Deceive yourself no longer."</span></span></blockquote>
<br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
I can only hope that God will show Himself in some way this
summer. Whether my questions from this past semester receive answers or I
find myself with zero answers and only 100 more questions. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Whenever it gets
tough, whenever I feel pure bliss, whenever I throw myself onto my bed from an emotionally endless day, whenever I’m so happy I swear I’m never leaving, I
want to learn something about Who God Is. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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And I have no doubt in my mind that I will.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
Holly Sullivan Jarchowhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16363157548552109883noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5117010090277886582.post-65880891936798622962012-12-10T19:28:00.002-08:002012-12-10T19:28:49.490-08:00Week 5: Fire as well as whispers.
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">September 20, 2012<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span></b>We woke up, had class, and then
ate breakfast. After breakfast we loaded up and headed to the Macha hospital.
It only took a couple of hours to get there! The ride was <u>really</u> good. I
listened to music the whole time, people-watched, and just observed everything
outside. So much creation to take in. It really is beautiful to just look at
all God has done with His hands. I LOVE the trees. I think they look so cool
with their jagged branches and kinks all over. Definitely Africa. “Oh Great
Love of God” by DCB came on and it <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">really</b>
uplifted me. Not that I was feeling down, but it just really, really encouraged
me. Just hearing truths spoken helps me so much.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>We got to
Choma and I was looking at all of the stores and there was one called
“Builder’s Barn” and it was in the same colors and font as Home Depot.
HILARIOUS. It made me smile. We finally got to the hospital and split into 2
groups to tour around the actual hospital and the lab. My group started with
the hospital. It was really quite impressive and not what I thought it was
going to be at all. We saw the men’s ward, the women’s ward, and the children’s
ward. The director of the hospital, a missionary, told us a lot of the time
when the power goes out they must put their oxygen-dependent patients on oxygen
tanks. However, like with anything else, eventually the oxygen runs out. And
when it does, there is nothing they can do. That was hard to hear. Then we
toured their lab. In one section of the lab they do blood work and in the other
parts they test and culture mosquitos with malaria. There was a whole room
devoted to growing mosquitos, seeing if they have the virus, and pretty much
just studying how they grow, react, and reproduce with the disease. They said
they just venture out into rural parts of Zambia, capture mosquitos, and do
tests with them. It was super neat as well as HUMID in there. It was really
interesting though. After that we drove to another building close by and
listened to Mr. Thurman (the director) give a presentation on malaria in Zambia
and tell us how it works and what the trends have been in the past. He is a
really cool man. He makes all of this science seen really interesting and I can
tell he is so passionate about it. He told us the hospital used to make their
own IV fluid since it wasn’t sold in Zambia. I thought that was SUPER cool. We
had lunch (which was delicious) and then we left.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Once we got
back we had dinner and then girls’ devo! Tonight Hope talked about the woman’s
role in the Bible and how sometimes we can get discouraged if we focus on what
our roles <u>aren’t</u>, but there is so much to be gained if we look at what
our roles <u>are.</u> God didn’t call His creation of Adam good until He
created Eve. There is something special about the woman and by focusing on what
we <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">don’t</b> get to do, we miss out on
so much opportunity in doing what men can’t. There were a lot of Scriptural
examples that really showed that although we can feel discouraged at how disposable
women seem to be, really we have played a big part in God’s story as well.
After that I came back to my room and packed for our adventure to LIVINGSTONE
tomorrow! I am <u>so</u> excited!<o:p></o:p></div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
God, thank You for this day. Thank You for what You’re doing
in Macha. It’s so comforting to see people faithful to You all over the world.
God, I love You. Please keep talking to me. I pray for Aaron and Joel’s lives.
You can do anything. Thank You for loving me.</blockquote>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
Use me God.</blockquote>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">September 21, 2012<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Today was
SUCH a cool day. Most definitely top 5 favorite days of my life. We woke up and
got ready to leave by 5:15AM. Parker, Petra, Aubrey, Meghan, Meagan, River,
Molly, Greg, Luke, Ba Lou, Katie, and Jeremy all squished into the Land Cruiser
for our journey to Livingstone. The whole way we played Catch Phrase, Mafia,
and some game where you are given a letter and everyone has to come up with and
shout out something starting with that letter, and the last person to say
something before the buzzer sounds gets a point! It was lots of fun and passed
the time. Whenever we’re with Meagan, even the smallest things are so much fun.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>We got to
Livingstone and the place we pulled up to was the central spot of our
activities at Livingstone. It is so nice! We all paid for the activities we wanted.
I chose riding elephants, swimming in Devil’s Pool, and the adventure day. A
group of us girls, Sarah, Kailey, Lauren, Hope, Bridget, Aubrey, Petra, and I
decided to do elephants first so we went to town to kill some time until it was
time to go. We went to town, got a drink, and just walked around through some
stores and then got picked up to go.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>We drove to
the place where the elephants were, and met a girl that was joining us for the
rides named Sarah. She was from Australia and was a younger woman who works as
a tour guide in Australia and travels for fun. She was telling us about all the
different places she’s been and she’s been to a TON! Her job almost seemed too
cool to be true. She was super, super sweet. So we pulled up to the place which
was out in the bush, and we were welcomed by a man telling us about the
elephants and their history. All of their elephants are orphans that they’ve
rescued. He told us elephants usually live up to 65-70 years. Our elephant
weighed 3-3 ½<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>tons, but the biggest ones
there were 5-6 tons. It takes the people there 3 years to train each elephant.
It was SO cool being there. We walked over to the place where we would be
getting onto the elephants and it was so surreal! We got on and it was crazy
realizing, “I am on the back of an elephant!....in Africa!” We started our trek
and got to a part where the elephant goes really deep into water and ours
started veering from the direction our guide was wanting it to go, going into
super deep water. Our guide that was on there with Petra and I was whacking its
head and yelling all of these commands at it in another language. We were in
water up to our knees (meaning nearly the whole elephant was swimming under
water at this point) and the whole time I was thinking, “Well. We’re about to
go underwater. And there’s nothing I can do about it.” But <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">finally</b> the guide got it to turn left so the only part of us that
got wet was up to our knees. But still! Knee deep while on top of the elephant!
That’s deep! We rode out of the river, kept walking, and saw these wild
elephants a little further into the bushes. We’re looking at them and then all
of a sudden, one starts charging at us! Our guide turned around to me and Petra
and goes, “Just hold on.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The head guide
that was walking on the ground alongside all of the elephants ran towards the
elephant and shot a couple of shots with his gun into the air to startle the
wild elephant. And luckily, it did. It turned away and Petra and I were dying
at this point. So after all of the commotion, and some super sore tail bones,
we got back to where we started and got off the elephants. The whole ride
lasted almost a couple hours.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>We were
given the chance to feed the elephants which was WEIRD! You could either throw
the feed straight into their mouth, or pour it in their trunk and then they
would blow it from their trunk into their mouth. After feeding them, they
saluted us, which was basically them raising one of their knees. So cute.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>We walked
to this pavilion type thing and watched a DVD of our day. All of us girls
pulled money together and bought one to share. We left there and came back to
the Waterfront Hotel (the head place for activities I was talking about) and
had lunch. It was YUMMY. We were a little late for getting to our bus for Devil’s
Pool, and we really thought we were going to miss it, but we didn’t thankfully!<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>It was the
same group of us Harding girls, a girl from Australia, a girl from England, one
from Germany, a guy from Tennessee, and an older son and mom from Delaware. The
guy from Tennessee had a really cool story. He lives in Rwanda but is from
Nashville. He digs wells and is a mechanical engineer. He was in Zambia for a
meeting and had the weekend off. He works for a company called Living Water. It
was really neat hearing his story. The small part of it that I heard, anyway!<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>After
walking on <u>lots</u> of rocks and through lots of water, we finally got a to
our spot at the Devil’s Pool. The Devil’s Pool is like an infinite pool. It
looks like we would fall right over the edge of the Falls, but it was about 6
feet deep where we were, with a rock wall that would block us from going over.
It was exactly like a pool. It was BEAUTIFUL. The most beautiful thing I’ve yet
to see. The mist over it was incredible. We got there, put our stuff down on a
little spot of land, and swam to the edge. The guide took pictures for us which
ended up being really good! They held our feet and we were able to shimmy on
our tummies onto the rock wall with our upper bodies hanging off the edge to
where we could se straight down the Falls. BEAUTIFUL. More than beautiful. It
was a crazy feeling looking down the Falls.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>We walked
back to the bus with the sun setting to our backs, shopped for a little while,
but left after a few minutes because the people were haggling us and going <u>crazy</u>.
So we came back to the Waterfront, and ate dinner. Petra and I are rooming
together so we got our assigned tent and put our stuff inside and went to the
talent show a bunch of people were in. Seth had the idea to have one, so we planned
it for tonight. It was SO funny. Our group is weird, let me tell you. But
that’s what makes us so great. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>After the
talent show, Meagan, Lou, Kaitie, Aubrey, Bridget, Luke, Parker, Chris, and I
all stood around, goofing off big time until curfew. We were a little tired I
think from the long, but INCREDIBLE day.<o:p></o:p></div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
God, thank You for this day. This amazing day that was full
of adventure and wonder. I am just in awe. Of Victoria Falls. Of how cool You
made some animals to be. Everything. Thank You for this blessing of
opportunity. I feel over-privileged<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>to
be able to have done all of these things. Thank You for felings like today.
That speechless wonder. Thank You. Your creation is so beautiful and creative.
I love You, God. Please use me everywhere, even while we’re here as tourists. I
love You, God.</blockquote>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">September 22, 2012<o:p></o:p></b></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span></b>Today. Wow. This weekend,
without a doubt, makes it into the Top 5 best experinces of my life. We woke up
at about 8-ish, feeling SO rested, and went to breakfast. Today’s activity:
adventure day! We headed out to leave after breakfast and in our car we met a
woman named Di. She is from Portugal and was SO sweet. She was visiting Zambia
to see some friends that are living here temporarily so that they can adopt a
little boy. We talked with her on our way there and when we got there we broke
into 2 groups and got straight to it!<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>My group
went to the Flying Fox first. The Flying Fox is where they have about a 10-yard
running track that drops off into the gorge. So, we’re all harnessed in and
once you get up there and they clip you to the wires, you just take off running
and then throw your arms out and fly. It. Was. Awesome. I <u>loved</u> it. You
just zip line on your back like Superman and go into the gorge in the air. It
was so beautiful. They crank you back in and you get to run again if you if you
want. I definitely did. After all of our group went, we walked to the gorge
swing. This, I most definitely did <u>not</u> do. It’s not too much of a drop
compared to other extreme things, but it was way too far for me. It’s ~63 meter
drop and once you’ve dropped, you just swing over the tops of the trees. You
could choose to go either frontwards or backwards. Frontwards, when the guy
counts to three, you just step straight off and free fall. Backwards, you stand
with your back to the gorge, toes on the edge, bend your knees, hold in your
head, and then lift your toes. If someone decided to go with a partner they had
to go off this way. It looked like a lot of fun, but it looked really painful
at the same time. And a lot of people that went said it was kind of painful. I
don’t regret not going at all. But I did love watching everyone :) It was like
I was getting the thrill just watching, without doing it myself! <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>After about
an hour I went back to the flying fox to do it again…twice. I loved that thing.
Then, a couple of girls from our group walked to the rappelling part. There
were two options here. You could either repel the normal way (having your booty
face the ground, and just jumping bit by bit down), or you could do something
called rap jumping. Rap jumping is where you are harnessed in and basically
rappel face down, almost like a walk/run down face-down the side of the gorge.
I did that one, of course. And it was super, SUPER fun! I was spinning in
circles at one point since I would jump too far out and it was <u>so</u> fun! After
that a few of us girls had to hike all the way back up the gorge to get back to
the top. It was <u>TERRIBLE</u>. It was so tough and such a long walk! It was
all just steps. Sarah and I both started having near asthma attacks, but we
made it! I was super light-headed just from all the rush of going face first
and then having to hike the gorge straight up was ROUGH!<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>We made it
to the top finally and by that time we had been there about 3 hours, so we left
and came back to the place we were staying. Some people had signed up to do
something else in the afternoon, but Sarah and I just stayed at the pool where
we’re staying. We changed into swimsuits and just sat with our feet in the pool,
talking. We got to know each other so much better and I am so glad for that.
After that we were really hungry since we hadn’t eaten lunch, so we got a salad
and talked with Mrs. Bingham for a few minutes until the rest of the group got
back. Some of us decided to swim and it ended up being Parker, Zach, Sarah, and
I just sitting in the pool talking. We talked until it was time to change for
dinner and then a group of us headed to Olga’s for dinner. It was <u>so</u>
yummy, just as good as the last time! After about 2.5 hours of all the talking
and eating, we left and came back to where we’re staying. My eyes were drooping
I was so tired. So now the day is finally done, but it was SO SO fun. Oh my
goodness, this weekend will be one that I never forget.<o:p></o:p></div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
God, thank You for the restful and peaceful weekend. I
needed it. Thank You for all our safety today and for keeping us in Your hands
of protection. Thank You for the conversations like Sarah and I had today. I
pray all of us grow closer and closer, building our relationships in things
that can’t falter. I pray for the babies at the Havens. I pray for Aaron and
Joel. I love You. Thank You for Christ and His creation. I love, love, love
You. Keep using me, Jesus.</blockquote>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">September 23, 2012<o:p></o:p></b></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span></b>What a <u>day</u>. We got up and
a small group of us went to Olga’s for breakfast and then went to church at
Livingstone Central Church of Christ. The preacher talked about Hebrews 11 and
went through the people in that chapter. I really don’t remember too much
because I was so, so tired. We got up and sang some Tonga songs for them by
their request. After singing, we sat back down and the church took prayer
requests. 3 women came forward. One said she just recently found Jesus and
wanted to be baptized. Another said she had fallen away and had had a child as
a result and that she was ready to come back and be held accountable. The last
woman said that she was barren and that she needed prayer that the spirits that
are keeping her form having a baby would leave. It was really interesting.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Once the service
was over we had a greeting line. After that they started filling up this
concrete, in-the-ground, square hole with water for a baptism! We were going to
stay, but after about 10 minutes the water level hadn’t moved an inch with them
filling it up, so we left.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>A group of
us went to lunch at a place called the Pub. We ordered and ended up waiting 2
hours for our food. It was pretty crazy. Even for Africa standards. For a while
we decided to look at it and remind ourselves that we’re on Zambian time, but
after 2 hours had passed, we decided it was bad service. Everyone but 3 of us
left and went somewhere else. I ate (my food was the last to come out) and we
all just left and rode back to Namwianga.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>We got back
and the power was out. Welcome home to us :) SO I put my stuff in my room and
then worked on my blog post and answered e-mails until time to go to Sunday
night church. We walked into the auditorium full of people, with lit candles
and singing. It was so beautiful. Petra and I sat for a while and then went
outside to sit and listen since it was so hot. We came back to the Hamby early
and just sat and talked to some of the leaders until the rest of the group got
back. We ate dinner and the power was still out. It was my night to get
peer-reviewed on my blog post, so Luke, Hope, and Bridget read a post that I
wrote for class and corrected it. <span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>After
that I came back to my house and the power came back on! Which was SO nice
because I thought I wasn’t going to get to shower, which would not have been good
with how gross I felt! But now I do! I still have to read an article for class tomorrow,
which is going to take a while, but at least we have power! <o:p></o:p></div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
God, thank You for this day. Thank You for being with us
this weekend and protecting us. As time goes on I pray that You protect our
minds and emotions as people will start feeling more and more homesick. Let my
attitude be like Your Son. Keep showing me things God, when I least expect it.
Thank You for everything, God. Keep using me, Lord.</blockquote>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">September 24, 2012<o:p></o:p></b></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span></b>Today makes another Monday on
Zambia! Some of us were thinking about the days we’ve spent here vs. how many
we have left, and we’re about ½ way through our time here. We have a 10-day
trip to Mumena in a couple of weeks, leaving just over 5 weeks here at
Namwianga. That’s nuts.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>So today I
woke up SUPER tired and went to class. Humanities today was different and
interesting. We had 3 guest speakers. One man talked about he radio station
here on the Mission, the second talked about his life on the streets, and the
third about Christian education here. I thought the second speaker was the most
interesting. Wezi, the young man who spoke, talked about how both of his
parents passed away and one day he was approached by a man who claimed to know
his father. The man told Wezi that he could go to Livingstone with him. He said
that the man had to run some errands and told Wezi to meet him at the car after
a few hours. When Wezi went back to the spot where the car was, the man was nowhere
to be found. He waited for over a day and the man never showed. Finally a young
man approached Wezi and told him he could come with him and give him food and a
place to stay, which is what began his life as a street kid. He talked about
some of his experiences and how he met a man took him in a helped him into an
orphanage. I knew this kind of things existed but to actually have someone who
has gone through it talk in front of me made it more real to me.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>After class we had chapel and then Petra,
Morgan, and I went to the Havens. I started in Haven 3, but Joel was asleep so
I ended up holding Helen, Jason, and Owen. I left there and went to Haven 1. It
felt <u>SO</u> good to have Aaron in my arms again after being separated this
weekend. I promise he grew at least 3 inches. He’s huge! I just kissed and
kissed him and eventually fell asleep with him the rest of the day. We woke up
just in time to leave for lunch.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>We got
back, had lunch, and then I finished reading some articles for class, and got
some pictures and videos from Sarah and Meryl from this weekend. We had class
and then dinner. After dinner I talked to some of my friends through Facebook,
finally! Then it was time for Family Meeting. We sang some, shared some funny
cultural mistakes we’ve made, and then did a prayer together. Jeremy started
and then we all just jumped in praying for things on our minds. Laments or
concerns. I couldn’t get Wezi and his story off of my mind, so I prayed for the
kids on the streets. After Family Meeting we all went back to the Hamby for Tea
Time and watched a video some of the girls made. I was so tired I just came
back home and journaled some.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I counted
my mosquito bites today because I have SO many. I counted 98. Yes. Just two
under 100. I guess we’ll see if any of those were malaria mosquitos in about a
week! I am so so exhausted. I need some good <u>sleep</u>!<o:p></o:p></div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
Thank You God for the goodness of this day. Thank You for
the blessing of being able to love on Aaron today. I pray for our group, God.
Keep us open and honest with each other, loving and forgiving each other. I
pray for the people still at Harding. Reveal things to them like You are to me
here. Steady my heart, mind, and emotions, God. I love You.</blockquote>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">September 25, 2012<o:p></o:p></b></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span></b>WHAT. A. DAY.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>First
things first, Aaron is 3 months old today! SO proud of him!<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>So today
was one of those days where your eyes are literally drooping by the end of the
day. I woke up, went to class, and then chapel. In chapel we sang “Farther
Along”. I feel that song beginning to mean more and more to me. After chapel I
went straight to the Havens. No progress with Joel today. I held and fed him,
but as far as talking or standing there wasn’t much. It was still so good
spending time with him. There’s something so special about that little boy.
When I walked into the big boys room to put Joel back into his bed, Leo,
Lincoln, and some of the other boys were butt naked. They had just gotten out
of the bath and were running around their room with an auntie trying to put
clothes on them one at a time. Hilarious. I left after over an hour and went to
Haven 1. I played with and fed Aaron. He was SO talkative today! He is so
perfect. After being with Aaron about an hour, we walked back for lunch and
then class.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I worked on
answering e-mails until sports. We were going to play Ultimate Frisbee but
ended up playing volleyball. It was SO much fun! It made me remember just how
much I love it. It was so competitive and I loved playing with the Zambians. <span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>We left there, had dinner, and then
Jeremy told us that we needed to meet for an emergency Family Meeting. We were
so confused. We thought something had probably happened in the States. After
dinner we went to the meeting and found out that one of our students, Meghan,
was going home. She’s had some health issues the past few years and it had gotten
to the point where she couldn’t carry on abroad without seriously risking her
health. We were shocked. It did, however, bring things to reality for me. It
made me see how I need to be taking advantage of every second possible here.
She talked to our group and individually thanked every person in the group and
told each of us the things about ourselves that have touched her in some way.
It was so so sweet. After the meeting we all hugged and prayed for her.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Afterwards,
a group of us went on top of the containers, despite the fact that it was
cloudy. We just sat up there and talked, laughed, and LAUGHED. A lot. Then it
was time for Tea Time, which tonight was a little different than normal. We had
Sherri Sears come and talk to us about her life. Sherri is a woman that has
lived here on the Mission for over 30 years. She had such a unique story. She
said she had always felt like God had something for her, but she didn’t know
what. Her friend told her about a teaching position in Zambia (at the secondary
school here) that she had heard about in a letter. She took the job and has
been here since. She said it’s hard working under Zambian administration at
times because of the differences, but she’s learned how to work with it. She’s
in her 50s, not married, and took in 2 girls, Lois and Sarah, as her daughters.
She said by moving here, choosing to stay here, and raising the girls here, confirmed
the fact that she wouldn’t ever get married. But she said she’s found being
single does have all the perks that the Bible says it does. She’s able to do
what she wants without really having to consider another person. However, there
have been times she said that she struggled with loneliness. I asked her what confirmed
her decision to stay here. Because, of course, it was hard at the beginning and
the middle and even now, but I asked what confirmed it to her that she was
meant to stay here vs. doing the same thing in the States. She said her
confirmation was how needed she is here. She took a 3-year leave and went back
to the States due to some health complications of her daughter. She taught
while in the States and just did not feel like she was using her talents to the
fullest of their ability like she was in Zambia. She said all the one-on-one
time she has with people here, who come to her for advice, shows her that she’s
needed. And she considers that a part of the ministry. I thought that was so
true and such a great way to know. Bridget asked her how she’s learned to deal
with things like death, and she told us a quote she’s heard that says, “In
acceptance lies peace.” She said she just has to accept that she doesn’t know
why, but that it’s just reality. And it doesn’t make it easy, but trust in God
is what you have to have. I loved that. Finding peace in acceptance.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Afterward,
Bridget, Petra, Aubrey, and I went to the cabana table just to talk about how
we’re all feeling about everything so far. I can’t believe we’re already at the
halfway point of being at Namwianga. Day to day, time seems to be so long, but
looking at the experience as a whole, it’s flying.<o:p></o:p></div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
God, we need You now more than ever. I pray that You charge
into Meghan’s life. Give her a new mind. Give her a new spirit. Please rid her
of the things Satan has given her. I pray for the mental health of our group as
time keeps moving and we are all beginning to be changed. Don’t stop the
change, Lord. Just keep us healthy. I love You. Thank You for all that You are
showing me. I love You Lord. Thank You. </blockquote>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
Use me Jesus. Despite the hardships and the confusion. Keep
shining.</blockquote>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">September 26, 2012<o:p></o:p></b></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span></b>This morning we woke up for
class, had breakfast, and then went to chapel. After chapel we all came back to
the Hamby since Meghan left for her flight today. A lot of us sat in the Hamby
and read for class and did a little bit of work. At about 11 we all went behind
the boys’ bunkhouse in the shady yard. We all stood together and prayed over
Meghan. After praying we sang a little bit and then went back into the Hamby to
hang out until time for her to leave. Around 12 we all hugged one last time and
she got in the car to leave.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>After she
left, we had lunch, Mission Anthropology, and then signed up for all the
different activities going on this weekend. Thursday night some of the girls
are going to stay the night in the village with an Auntie in her home. Friday
night some people are spending the night in the Havens. Saturday, some of us
are going to a village outreach where they’re having a preaching marathon and
then spending the night there. The way that works is they rotate singing and preaching
all day, sing until they fall asleep, wake up to people singing, and then the
preaching and singing continues the next day. And that happens the whole
weekend. Then, Sunday morning some girls are having church at the Havens with
the Aunties and Sunday afternoon/night some are going and staying the night
with an Auntie in her village. So, a BUSY weekend ahead! All I’m doing is the
Saturday night marathon/outreach. I’m excited!<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>After class
a group of us went to the Havens to see our babies. I went to see Joel first
and he did well today! I helped the Aunties fold clothes and Joel kept reaching
out to touch my mouth and nose. So even though there was no progress, the fact
that he seems interested and engaged with me made me feel awesome. I went to
Haven 1 after awhile and when I got there Auntie Beatrice was brushing Aaron’s
hair and he was crying, but when she finished, she gave him to me. As soon as I
got him he SMILED the biggest smile in the world. It. Was. The. Best. And the <u>rest</u>
of the day he was smiling and smiling and <u>talking</u> so much! I love that
boy so much. <span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>We stayed until
dinnertime and then walked back. After dinner, Parker, Bridget, River, and I
went onto the containers and talked about the things we like about this experience
and just the reflections we’ve been having. At about 7 it was time for singing
at Meag and Lou’s. It was a great time of worshipping. I love how much fun we
have together. After that, some girls came back to my house and we all sat
around the table by candlelight (the power’s been out since this afternoon)
telling scary stories. We all got so scared so we decided to stop and go to the
Hamby House to play some cards. I became super tired so I went back to my house
and read a little before bed. Since the power’s out I read by candlelight,
which was so so cool. Reading the Bible that way was super calming and
beautiful. It gave me such peace. I am <u>so</u> tired and ready to feel
rejuvenated! <o:p></o:p></div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
God, thank You for this day. Thank You for blessing me with
Joel and Aaron. I pray that You open Joel’s mind to learn and that You keep
opening mine so that I can learn from him. I pray for all of my team. For our
fears, doubts, uncertainties, hurts, everything. I pray that we are healed and
that answers come Lord, however that may be. God, I pray for Meghan. Renew her
completely. Keep teaching me, Lord. I want to be used by You all my life.</blockquote>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">September 27, 2012<o:p></o:p></b></div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Today was
one of <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">the</b> best days yet. I woke up
and went to class, and today for Humanities Ba Moonga taught us African
history. His voice is like a story-telling voice, which I love. It does tend to
make me sleepy :)<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>After class
we had breakfast and then our own chapel behind the guys’ bunkhouse. Phil
talked about how we should read and interact with the Bible instead of doing
what it says with an empty and monotonous heart. After chapel we had Mission
Anthropology and I e-mailed and wrote some notes to some of the girls until
lunch.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>After
lunch, a group of girls went o the Havens. And THIS is where it gets good. I went
and visited Aaron first and he was so happy and talkative today! It made me <u>so</u>
joyful. I left there and went to Haven 3. I went straight away to get Joel and
then held him in the chair that’s in the big boys room.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Aubrey and her baby, Maya, came in there with
me for a few minutes but then we had to go to get back in time for sports. So
Aubrey went to put Maya down and I was sitting there with Joel and thought to
myself, “What if I had faith and <u>really</u> believed that God would let me
witness Joel smiling? Right now. If I <u>believed</u> that He would let me see
that right now.” So I thought, “God, You’re going to do this.” And I started
bending him down and kissing his neck and I noticed that his mouth started to
loosen up a lot. So I kept doing it and <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">HE
SMILED.</b><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><br /></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Joel smiled.<o:p></o:p></b></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><br /></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
And I almost started crying. So I kept doing it and he <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">LAUGHED.</b><o:p></o:p></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><br /></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-size: 14.0pt;">He LAUGHED!</span> <o:p></o:p></div>
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<span style="font-size: 14.0pt;"><br /></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
His mouth WIDE open with a deep gutted laugh.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Showing his teeth with his eyes and brow and
nose crinkled. I felt like it wasn’t even happening. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 14.0pt;">IT HAPPENED!</span></b><span style="font-size: 14.0pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-size: 14.0pt;"><br /></span></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Thank You, thank You, thank You, thank You, thank You Jesus.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>After that
when I was walking back I felt like I was on cloud 9. Nothing was wrong in life
after witnessing that. I got back and changed to go to sports. A small group of
us threw the Frisbee for a few minutes until more of our group showed up. A
group form another Zambian school pulled up and started putting on soccer jerseys.
They were going to play Namwianga’s secondary school. They asked us what we
were playing and we told them Frisbee. They had never seen it before! So we
threw it around a little with them for like 10 minutes before they had to
leave. After they left, we played volleyball for only like 15-20 minutes and
then we had to leave for dinner. We got back and ate and then it was time for
our girls’ devo!</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Tonight Meagan talked
which I was so excited about. She spoke on 1 Kings 18 and 19 and talked about
how God showed up in a big way when Elijah needed Him in a big way and then in
chapter 19 He showed up in a whisper when Elijah needed Him in a whisper. I
thought that was so cool how God knew what Elijah needed and appeared to him in
that way at that time. Meagan said she struggles with trying to find a mesh
between what she sees in the world and what she knows about God. She has a
difficult time making those two meet which is exactly what I’m experiencing
more and more as each day passes as well. God shows Himself to be good when He
burned up the alter, but the <u>very</u> next day Elijah ran out of fear from
the queen. It’s just like really? Right after God jus did that you’re running
away from the queen? You don’t think God can help you with that too? But then I
realized, how much like Elijah I am. So much! I see God’s goodness and then so
soon forget and allow my fears to take over again. So Meagan gave us some
sticky notes and asked us to write down Ebenezers, or things that help us
remember things God has done in the past. She explained to us that Ebenezers
are stones people used to put up to remember a particular happening or event,
almost like a memorial. And she wanted us to write down things that have
happened in our lives for when we become sad or feel alone or just plain worn
out, we can remember that God IS good.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>After devo
I went with Petra, Sarah, and Meryl back to Sarah and Meryl’s house to talk to
Webster. We talked for a few minutes about snakes and he was joking around with
us and laughing at us for being so scared. I went inside the house for a minute
to use some fingernail polish and found Brette and Kaitlin Plachy in Brette’s
room. I ended up staying there and talking to them until curfew. We talked
about our biggest struggles while we’ve been here. Mine is putting complete
trust in God and completely handing over full control of my future. That has
been something so hard. Just being still and letting God be God. It’s so hard,
but I know that’s the journey. The faith that’s built in these kinds of moments
of my life is the purpose of waiting. I need the faith that this circumstance
is building in me. So I have to wait until the Lord knows I am ready. No
control. Just trust.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This is HARD. <o:p></o:p></div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
God, I know You can hear me. THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU
for today. For blessing me with today as a day of progress. I LOVE that smile
and laugh so much. Please keep being with Meghan as she’s getting closer to being
home. I pray that You be with Meagan Hawley. Giver her the companionship she
needs Lord. Speak to her, Father. Thank You for Brette and Kaitlin. I pray that
You give us all answers and faith, God. I love You so much. I’m willing to go,
God, just tell me where and when. Give me answers Jesus so that I can serve You
the best way I am able to. I love You.</blockquote>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<!--EndFragment-->Holly Sullivan Jarchowhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16363157548552109883noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5117010090277886582.post-31727396089073187872012-10-03T13:14:00.000-07:002012-10-03T13:14:09.053-07:00Week 4: Lweendo.
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">September 13, 2012<o:p></o:p></b></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>WHAT A DAY.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Today I
went to class, had breakfast, and then went to the clinic! Today all the people
who aren’t medical majors got to go if they wanted to! I wanted to see what it
was like so I went and shadowed Mrs. Bingham. It really is quite amazing what
she does. She is so good with kids and just people in general. It amazed me how
she was able to ask only a handful of questions and then was able to prescribe
them something. I loved watching her in action.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>We stayed
there until lunch and then came back, ate, had class, and then it was time for a
group of us to leave to go to the Kalomo Hospital. We got there and walked into
the first room. I was immediately surprised. Clearly, I didn’t think it would
be like a hospital in America, but we walked into a concrete room with as many
beds as they could fit, one patient after another. One woman was lying on the
bed with her child that had burns and bandages all over its little face and
body. Another woman was sprawled out asleep. It was obvious they each had
something different, but they were all in the same room. It seemed so inefficient
in terms of keeping diseases from spreading from one person to the next. But we
went from room to room, singing, praying, and sharing a word of encouragement.
One room we went into, the Women’s Ward, had older women and younger ones, all
will different ailments. There was a mentally ill young woman that looked to be
in her 20s. We were about to pray and she kept shouting, “No! No!” And once Jeremy
started the prayer she kept saying, “In the name of Jesus get out!” and once
Jeremy said, “Amen.” She looked at us and said, “Help me.” I don’t think I will
ever forget that moment. She asked if we would pray again except this time for
her specifically. The Zambian man that was translating for us, Ba Nomuswa, told
her that a pastor would come back another day and pray with her. It was
definitely an experience. It makes me wonder if it really is a mental illness
or possibly possession? How do we know, really? Who knows.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>We left
that room to go visit the Mother’s Ward. The ward consisted of a concrete slab
room with 30+ women packed into it just lying around. Flies EVERYWHERE. I have
never been around or even seen so many flies in one place. We encouraged them
through song and in a small devotional thought. They sang us a song as thank
you for coming. I loved it. After we had a greeting line with them we came back
for dinner.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Then it was
time to meet our Tonga tutors! FINALLY! They were almost an hour late (of
course) but finally arrived. I met my tutor, Munalula Musa. She’s 24 years old
and was <u>so</u> sweet! We talked about everything possible when meeting
someone. Family, friends, majors, hobbies, cooking, sports, boys, any and
everything. She told me her name in Tonga means, “Someone who was loved before
she was born.” I loved that. We’ve planned to hang out and watch movies, paint
nails, and things like that so I am <u>so</u> excited. We talked for about an
hour or so and then it was time for her curfew.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>They left
and Petra, Parker, and I decided to go talk to Webster at the Estes House. He
told us some snake stories, which were hilarious. But then it was time for
curfew so we had to tell him goodbye. It has been such a <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">full</i>, but <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">great</i> day.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<blockquote class="tr_bq">
God, thank You for the blessing of days like today.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>For the miracle of medicine , the gift of
friendship, and the precious moments in everything. There is something special
about this place. God, I pray You continue to change me without holding back.
No matter what, just do it. As long as I have Your peace I will do whatever You
want me to do. I pray for Munalula. <u>Thank you</u> for sending her to me
finally! I pray this relationship is beautiful. I ask that you be with the
orphans and widows. Let them feel Your love. Give me a forgiving spirit. I love
You.<br /><o:p> </o:p>Use me Jesus Christ. In whatever way. <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Whatever</b> way. </blockquote>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">September 14, 2012<o:p></o:p></b></div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Another day
in Zambia! Full and fulfilling.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Today we had
class, and then instead of Humanities we had independent study. Field Work along
with one of the nursing classes meets at that time and since I’m not in either,
Aubrey and I went to her house. She was making posters of Scripture to put up
around her house and asked me what some of my favorite verses were. It was really
encouraging going through some of my favorite ones and being reminded of how
cool God is. We talked about hers too and we both shared some of the people we
miss most from home.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>After about
an hour we went to breakfast and then waited about 30-45 minutes to go to the
George Benson Graduation! It was supposed to start 9:00 but it didn’t begin
until after 10:00. We are starting to get the hang of this “being late for everything”
(which is really being on time) so we didn’t<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>show up until about 9:30. We got there and the ceremony was set up
outside under a bunch of tarps tied to a thicker sticks that made a little
canopy for everyone to sit under. It was so nice with the breeze. We waited
around and sat and talked for about an hour and then <u>finally</u> it started
and the college choir danced in. It was so fun to watch! I love how even
serious events like graduation turn into a party! When they danced in and sat
down, the graduates followed with music and dancing as well. And then the
teachers came in. There was music, but no dancing :) Everyone had gotten there
and then a man they called “The Guest of Honor” came in. The program focused
more on the Guest of Honor than the students graduating. Even the student that
spoke at the end for his whole class (like a valedictorian’s speech) addressed
his speech toward the Guest of Honor. Apparently the person considered the
Guest of Honor changes every year and I didn’t catch who the man this year was.
I think he was high up on the education ladder in Zambia, but I couldn’t make
out what exactly he did. They presented lots of awards. When a student’s name
was called out, they danced up to the front to receive it and the parents danced
out of the crowd to the front for a picture with their child. It was hilarious.
After 3.5 hours it was finally over. It seemed so so long. Once they announced
that the ceremony was “diminished” the smiles and hugs that were passed around
surprised me! <u>Everyone</u> had huge smiles on their faces and parents were
standing up clapping for their children. It made me realize how special and big
of a deal it is to be a college graduate here. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Afterwards
our group walked back, had lunch, and then Morgan and I went to the Havens. I
went straight to Haven 1. Aaron is HUGE! Well, compared to what he was when I
got here! Meagan told me that she has weighed him and he’s gained a bunch!
Which makes me SO happy because weight gain usually means healthy baby! Meagan
assigned me another baby today too! Chilala, 3 weeks old, is having lots of
diarrhea and just needs some extra holding is what Meagan told me. She was
crying so I picked her up and then a doctor along with some interns came in.
The doctor came to check on all of the babies that Meagan was concerned about.
She looked at Chilala along with a couple others. I went to Haven 3 to see JoJo
and talked with one of the interns for a little bit while massaging Joel and
feeding him. But we had to leave shortly after for dinner.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>So Morgan
and I came back, ate, and then a group of us went to the Merritt’s to sing! Love.
It. So. Much. I met 3 boys that are good friends with the Merritt’s: David,
Lee, and Crae. They were <u>so</u> nice! I just have such positive feelings
about people that I meet here and the place in general. We left after a few
minutes of talking. Once we got back, River, Molly, Petra, Bridget, Kaitie, and
I all decided to go star tripping. It was SO great. And hilarious. We laughed
and laughed. And laughed. Whenever we fell to the ground we would become
covered in stickers, but we were laughing so hard I didn’t even care. Speaking
of stars, the stars here are <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">incredible</i>.
You can SEE the Milky Way. It is breath taking. After star tripping we all
talked for a couple minutes and then came home for curfew.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<blockquote class="tr_bq">
God, thank You for the blessing of today. Thank You for the
laughter that today brought. I love that we love laughing together. I ask You
that we grow closer as a unit, and are as effective as we can possibly be. I’m
sorry for the moments I failed You today. I pray for the Zambians that are
hurting. Be their Comforter and Peace. I pray for the struggles among our
group. Life is hard and I pray for the ones among us to continue being strong
and seeing You in ways we never have before. I love You Jesus.<br /><o:p> </o:p>Here I am God. <u>Use me</u>. </blockquote>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">September 15, 2012<o:p></o:p></b></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Today was
such a needed day of rest. I woke up and went to breakfast and then a woman
named Mrs. Daka came and talked to us about marriage and other things from the
perspective of Zambians. Mrs. Daka’s role in the community is one of a mentor.
She teaches the daughters of the community what to expect when married. Once a
girl is “ready to be seen as a woman” in the community or is about to be
married, she takes them in and teaches them what they need to know to be a good
wife. A lot of things were super surprising to me. When a daughter has her
period for the first time she is taken into a hut of her parents and is kept
there for three months away from society. The bride price still happens here.
If the husband beats the wife, the wife doesn’t tell anyone so that respect for
the home can stay in the community. There were many many more things that are
so different from our culture. It’s so interesting.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>After her
talk, a group of us walked to town. It’s 7 kilometers and took almost an hour
and a half to walk. It made me realize how far some women walk on a daily basis
whether it be for work or town or water. It was hard for us, but these women do
it with babies on their backs and then add a huge jug of water on their heads
on the return trip.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>We <u>finally</u>
got to town, had lunch at El Pantano, and then walked around looking at things.
I got 2 jerseys and just walked around with the rest of the group while they
were looking for some zitenge. We were out in the sun ALL day and I felt so
drained. We rested at the bakery for a while and after about 4 hours of being
in town we left.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>We came
back to the Mission, changed clothes, and went to play ultimate Frisbee until
dinner. It was so much fun! We had dinner and then Petra, Parker, and I played
cards. Then half of our group came outside and we played a MONSTER game of
Nerts. It was <u>nuts</u>. Starting to feel the effects of the sun and the
day’s journey I went to bed. It was so nice to have a down day after such
intensive work all week.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<blockquote class="tr_bq">
God, thank You for the day we had today. Thank You for the blessing
of friends here. Please keep talking to me about the future. Give me peace of
mind that You will let me know what You want. And that whatever I feel You’ve
said, is true. Please don’t let me fail You God. Keep us all close. I love You.<br /><o:p> </o:p>Don’t let my life be lived unused by You. Use me up.</blockquote>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">September 16, 2012<o:p></o:p></b></div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Such a
great day! Today I woke up, had breakfast, and went to church in the Johnson
Auditorium. Some people traveled to a village church about an hour away, but I
just wasn’t up for it today so I went with a group to the Johnson. It was so
nice understanding everything going on and being able to participate in the singing.
And I didn’t have to ride in a bus to get there! It was only a 5 minute walk!
Such a nice break.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>We got back
and I worked on some homework until lunch. Katie Daggett fixed us a homemade
Italian meal of pasta, salad, and homemade bread. It was <u>so</u> good. After
that I went to the Havens until it was time for church. I went to Haven 1 and
Aaron was sleeping so I decided to start at Haven 3 with Joel. We sat for a long
time with a toy xylophone with colored plates. I would use the plastic mallet
and make noise on the xylophone. He would take the mallet from me and hold it,
look at me, and then look back at the toy. And <u>finally</u> after minutes and
minutes and minutes of just sitting there tapping the xylophone, handing him
the mallet, having him stare at me, and then hand it back, he FINALLY hit the
xylophone with the mallet! It made me feel so good! I tried working on standing
up, but he wanted nothing to do with it today. But that was totally fine! He
responded to me with the xylophone, so I’m just going to take it one step at a
time. I went back to Haven 1 and Aaron was still asleep, so I changed some
babies, played with some others, and then went and picked up Aaron. He. Is.
Growing. I love it but I hate it. He woke up when I picked him up and had a
HUGE smile on his face. I love that little man. We had such a good day bouncing
and dancing and singing and smiling. I also held Chilala today. She is such a
little thing.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>We left the
Havens and came back to the Hamby and I did a little more homework. It was time
for us to leave to go to Sunday night church. After the message a few groups
got up and sang some songs. Prince and Lee (the friend we met from Eric’s
House) went up with some other guys and sang and did <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">amazing</b>. They’re so great. After the service I met a couple of
girls from the secondary school. We talked for a few minutes and they gave
Petra and I Tonga names! Mine is “Lweendo” which means path. I asked her why path,
and she said, “You know, like you’re on the path to Heaven!” I thought that was
really sweet. We came back home, had a super late dinner, and now are headed
off to bed!<o:p></o:p></div>
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<blockquote class="tr_bq">
God, thank You for today. It’s starting to become more and
more difficult. Not the being here part, but the being away part. I need You
more and more everyday. You are with me Lord. Just keep reminding me of that.</blockquote>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">September 17, 2012<o:p></o:p></b></div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Today was
such a long, busy day. But! <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">I got to
Skype with Alex last night which was SUCH a blessing.</b> We didn’t get to see
each other since the connection slowed way down when our video was on, but we
did get to talk! Which was great. It makes me miss him so much!<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I got to
class this morning, SO tired, and listened to Ba Siaziyu teach Tonga and
Humanities. We had breakfast and then a group of us went to the primary school.
We pulled up and were greeted by the principal who told us that she was going
to split us up into all the classrooms and that we in charge of class. We were
all just looking at each other like, “Uhhh..” What we thought was going to be a
day of observation quickly turned into a day of us Makuas being in charge.
Addie, Morgan, and I went into the classroom filled with the Grade 7 students.
The teacher, Ba Loveness, handed us some books and directed us to the pages she
wanted us to teach and walked out. We taught about entrepreneurship, initiation
ceremonies (as in when a boy/girl becomes a man/woman and how society here
acknowledges that), and all the different types of farming. It was SO awkward
at first because we literally had <u>nothing</u> prepared. But we did it! The
kids were dead silent most of the time, but I know they understood us since
their teacher was talking to them in English while we walked in. I think they
were just scared of us! Which, I mean, I don’t blame them! Towards the end, especially
when we were talking about farming, they opened up and answered a lot of
questions. However, it was time to go and as we were leaving a lot of the
students had come outside for their lunch break. As we were pulling away all
you see is this whole stoop covered in dark faces, white teeth, and waving
hands. It was absolutely one of the most beautiful things I’ve seen yet.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>We came
back and had lunch, and then a group of girls went to the Havens. We went until
dinner. Aaron was wonderful. We danced and sang a lot today! Joel was also
great. He interacted with me lots today. He was so cuddly too! He would just
lay his head against my chest. He did such a great job interacting. We left,
had dinner, and then had Mission Anthropology.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Then it was
time for Family Meeting and we talked about everything from this past week.
After the meeting, Katie Daggett asked Petra, Kaitie, and I if we wanted to go
see Ginsen at Meagan’s house since we went with Meagan to take Ginsen to her
doctor’s appointment last week. We got there and Ginsen’s little eyes were
glazed and her mouth was hanging wide open. She looked so sick. Meagan and
Louisa took out Ginsen’s IV because she is declining so rapidly. It was an
eye-opening moment because it meant that there was literally nothing that us as
humans could do anymore. We all just sat there at the feet of Meagan as she was
holding her, listening to Ginsen breathe. There were a few times that her
breaths skipped and it made us all nervous that she was about to go. After an
hour of sitting there I was just praying in my head that God would just take
her. Her breaths turned into short wheezes and we were all just waiting.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Meagan told us that at this point it’s just a
matter of trying to make her as comfortable and as peaceful as possible. Petra,
Kaitie, and I had to leave because of curfew and when we said goodbye we knew
it was our last goodbye to Ginsen. Her little body just can’t take it much
longer. It’s so hard to comprehend because everything in me thinks we could be
doing more, but I know there isn’t anything left but prayer.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<blockquote class="tr_bq">
God, I DON’T understand the ways of this world. I don’t know
why these things happen to these tiny babies. Well, I know its sin, but God
it’s so real here. The reality of sin. Looking at Ginsen’s eyes, watching her
little chest rise and fall with her wheezy breaths. The reality of sin, my sin,
in this world is like a slap in the face. My sin does this. It robs people of
life. It reveals Satan for just what he is: a thief that really does only come
to take, murder, and devastate. And to have a dying 5-week-old baby’s face to
look at while realizing this...God, we need You. I love You God and I believe
You are good. God if Ginsen passes tonight, I know I’ll need You tomorrow. Keep
holding her. Keep holding me.<br /> <o:p> </o:p>Use me through it all, Lord. I love You.</blockquote>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">September</b> <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">18,</b> <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">2012<o:p></o:p></b></div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Today was
SUCH a great day.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>This
morning I woke up, went to class, and then before breakfast Petra and I went to
Meagan’s house to see what went on with Ginsen in the night. We got there and
she was still awake! We were in shock. Everyone was. We sat there with her for
about 30 minutes and then went to breakfast. After breakfast we headed over to
chapel and after that Petra and I came back to Meagan’s. We sat with her for
about 2 hours talking about <u>everything</u>. About the way life is here,
relationships, and things that go through her head. I asked her what goes on in
her head when babies pass away. She said she used to be really angry at herself
and feel a lot of guilt because her job is to catch sicknesses before they get
out of control. So when she has a child in her arms about to die she has a hard
time feeling like she could have done something else or if she could have only
caught something sooner. She said she’s not numb to death, but it’s just
stopped surprising her. I also asked her how she knew here is where she needed
to be indefinitely and she said she just felt like there was nowhere else she
could be, and do what she felt like was necessary. She felt like the lifestyle
the Bible says we’re to live isn’t seen often. It’s so rare. And she feels like
caring for orphans and widows is something that is written about all through
the Bible and that everyone should be doing something about. That isn’t a specific
or individual calling. It’s something everyone should be working on and helping
with. She wants to do something meaningful and she feels like this is it for
her. Of course she feels lonely. Of course she feels like she’s missing out
sometimes. But she said a quote by Ralph Waldo Emerson that says something to
the effect of, “For every missed thing there is something gained.” I thought
that was such a great thought. I know she’s missing out at home, but what she’s
gaining in its place is so worth it. It was such a beautiful thing seeing her
talk with that baby in her arms. Speaking words of hope and truth in a
situation that seems so drear and full of despair. She said that here in Africa
she finds it hard to deal with sickness sometimes because our reaction is to
help, help, help. But sometimes, like now with Ginsen, there’s nothing left for
her to do and all you can do is just sit alongside people and suffer and cry
with them.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I hope that
one day I can find myself here with her. For some amount of time at least. It
is such a beautiful life here. But not the kind of beauty that people use to
describe perfection. It’s full of pain and hurt, but the kind where good comes
out of the ashes. The kind that hurts, but heals. That paradox kind of beauty.
That is what is found here. And that is what I’m in love with. In this culture
you find what matters. That’s what I’ve been looking for.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Meagan told
us she was going to get some sleep since she’d been up all night with Ginsen,
so Petra and I left and came across Memory. Memory is 19 and she helps the
cooks with food and cleaning. She is <u>precious</u>. I love talking to her.
She’s so down to earth and I feel like we’re people that would be friends in
the States. She’s so gentle ad such a quiet spirit. We talked to her about
culture here and how the West is starting to move in and change things. I
couldn’t help but sit there and feel super embarrassed about it. I hated being
from the West in that moment. To know that my kind of people is what’s changing
Africa and removing them from their traditional ways. In some ways like
medicine and hygiene that’s good. But in ways like dress and respect, it is so
so sad. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>After we
talked with her for about an hour and helped her with the salad, we had lunch
and then class. After class I answered some e-mails and then realized it was
already time for dinner! E-mails take such a long time to answer and give
details and just say everything I want to say.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>After
dinner and a few minutes of journaling, Parker, Petra, Bridget, Aubrey, and I
went on top of the containers too look at the stars since the power was out.
The stars were like something I have NEVER seen before. You can see the Milky
Way brighter than ever. I wish there were a word other than beautiful to describe
it, but that’s all I know. It is so beautiful. We brought out blankets and
watched a movie. Right after the movie was over it was curfew so I came home
and jumped in bed! Such a great feeling.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<blockquote class="tr_bq">
God, thank You for this day. I’m just in awe that Ginsen has
hung on not only through the night, but all day. Let Your will be done. I love
You Jesus. I pray for my friends back home. That You reveal Yourself to them
just as much as You are revealing to me here.<br /><o:p> </o:p>Use me Jesus. Have Your way.</blockquote>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">September 19, 2012<o:p></o:p></b></div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>What a day!
I woke up, went to class this morning feeling <u>super</u> tired. The past three
mornings it’s been such a struggle to get out of the bed! But I went to class
and after our Humanities class we had breakfast and then chapel. After chapel
we had Mission Anthropology and then I worked on my blog post for Mission
Anthropology until lunch. Before we started eating lunch Jeremy told us that
Ginsen passed away in the night between 1-2 AM. It saddened me but more relief
came over me than sadness. I knew she needed to go. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>We had
lunch and then a lot of us went to the Havens until dinner! Joel was his normal
self! He certainly does hug more, but there wasn’t any major breakthrough
today. I would say a little is definitely better than none. Aaron was actually
sort of cranky today! But he without a doubt just keeps getting cuter and
cuter. We left there and ran into Meagan behind Haven 3 on our way out. She
told us she wants some of us to repaint some of the names on the headstones in
the Haven graveyard. I think I would like to help her with that.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>We got back
to the Hamby, had dinner, and then Bridget and Aubrey and I went to the cabana
table to talk. We came back after a few minutes to find Petra and Prince
sitting with Chris. We sat down and talked, sang and played cards! Chris showed
us this crazy magic trick that we STILL don’t know how in the world it happens,
but it is so weird! And real looking! Then, we decided to do something called
the Cinnamon Challenge. It’s where you take a tablespoon of cinnamon and try to
swallow it. Sarah, Petra, Bridget, and I did it and not even 20 seconds later
we were all spitting it out and Bridget and I threw up! I threw up <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">three</b> times! It was THE weirdest
feeling ever and I will never do it again! It was <u>miserable</u>. Oh my word.
The rest of the night until curfew I could feel the cinnamon in my throat and
nose. After our turn Parker and Prince did it and were STONE faced the whole
time. And they both swallowed it! I could <u>not</u> believe it! Prince’s face
didn’t budge at all. It was like nothing was happening at all. It was super
impressive. After laughing lots and trying to spit all the cinnamon out of my
mouth every 5 seconds it was time for us all to disperse and go back to our
houses for curfew.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
God, thank You for today. For all the laughs and even got
the news of baby Ginsen. Thank You that she’s in Your arms now. I pray You keep
me focused and in tune with Your leading. I need it Lord. I love You.<br /><o:p> </o:p>I pray that you use me wherever, whenever. At the Havens,
among our group, whatever You wish.</blockquote>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<!--EndFragment-->Holly Sullivan Jarchowhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16363157548552109883noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5117010090277886582.post-29270725851643226032012-09-27T02:18:00.001-07:002012-09-27T02:18:33.994-07:00Week 3: Even if the healing doesn't come.
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">September 6, 2012<o:p></o:p></b></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Today has
been the hardest one yet.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>We woke up,
had class, ate breakfast, and went to chapel. The singing touched me so much
today. They sang “Joy to the World” but the way they sang it was different and it
was SO beautiful the way it sounded. We also sang “When I Survey the Wondrous
Cross” except to the tune of “Balikuli” which is a song we’ve learned here.
Such a humbling reminder.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>We got back
from chapel, sat down to have Mission Anthropology and Jeremy started off class
by telling is that Adam, Christy’s baby, passed away last night. He had ear
infections, and they think he could have contracted cerebral malaria. And since
he had HIV, his immune system was extra down, unable to fight it off. He kept
having seizures and then went unresponsive.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Once we all
heard the news, I felt my heart and my lungs, and everything, drop. I mean, it
felt like someone had just taken all the air out of my lungs and I couldn’t get
it back. Little Adam, the little boy that was always into something, pulling
off couch cushions, stealing other kids’ food. Little Adam who was FINE two
days ago is gone. We were all just so confused. Why? What is it we can gain
from this, Lord? Something, I know. You wouldn’t just let something happen and
there not be a reason or a way to make anything of it. You’re a God of order,
not chaos. But why here? Why him? Why now? Things I may never know.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>We had
class, which <u>no</u> <u>one</u> paid attention to, had a break, and I went to
study for our midterm tomorrow. Which was hard to focus on. My mind was just in
shock.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>We met for
lunch and after that I went to the Havens until dinner. I couldn’t pass up an
opportunity after that news. I just wanted to hold my babies. I dozed off with
Aaron on my chest and then held Joel the rest of the time. It just made me
realize how fast these babies can go. They can be here, perfectly healthy one
day, in the grave the next. It sounds so harsh, but it is the reality here.
Harsh. Disease doesn’t care about age. Neither does death. I just want to spend
as much time at the Havens as I’m able to.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>It’s hard
not to shed tears at injustice like this. It’s only been 2 weeks but our hearts
are involved. Of course, not like the Aunties. Not like Meagan’s. But as much
as we can be at this point, we are. The rest of the day was kind of cloudy and
nostalgic. Everyone felt the damper of reality. After dinner I went to take a
shower and then went to girls’ devo. Ironically, Christy was supposed to lead
it. What she had planned to talk about was what our weaknesses are here and
what we are trying to build up in ourselves. It fit today perfectly. Something
that Meagan Hawley said at the devo really stuck with me. She said her prayer
for us is we come out of this on the other side, clinging to the truth that God
is good. That we don’t forget that and we hold to that until the end. I know He
is good. It’s just hard trying to figure out why Adam. Why that way? Why today?
It’s something that can be worked through with trust. But that’s not easy
either. We’re processing it the best we can and we will be OK, I just have to
trust that God knows what He is doing.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Blessed be the Name of
the Lord. He gives and takes away.<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Know His power in quietness
and trust.<o:p></o:p></i></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>After devo
we were all hugging each other, and I walked up to Meagan and just hugged her
for a long, long time. I can’t imagine feeling like this ever again, nonetheless
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">every month</b> like she does. While we
were hugging I just started crying. She’s such a beautiful soul.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Afterward,
I just went to my room to study for our midterm tomorrow. It’s so hard to be
motivated to study and to concentrate on memorizing this stuff.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
God, we don’t understand. We don’t understand what the
reason is that Adam died. Because of sin, I know. I mean why Adam though? It’s
so confusing. Teach us to trust. Protect each person in our group from turning
away from You. Let this make us come closer together and to You. I’m so sorry
that our sin has made this happen to Your children. I can’t imagine how You
must feel. You experience this everyday. Seeing Your babies die from
preventable things. We love You. I love You.<br /> <o:p> </o:p>Use our group to be an encouragement to the Aunties, to
Meagan, and to each other. We need You.</blockquote>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>September 7, 2012<o:p></o:p></b></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Today was
such a blessing after yesterday. We woke up, had class, breakfast, chapel, and
then finally our midterm. I studied all day up to the test and I feel like I
did well. After that I let Addie trim my hair. Soon after it was time for lunch
and then our group piled in the bus and went to a place called Twin Fountain
Farm.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>The purpose
of the farm is to provide Zambian men and women education in agriculture. The
man who runs it, Klaus Mueller, is from Germany and moved here over 30 years
ago. He only planned to stay for a visit, and ended up moving here. He said on
his visit when he got into the cab, the driver said, “Africa is very dangerous.
People who come to visit end up wanting to stay.” Klaus said that he thought to
himself, yeah right, but now he’s here. I thought that was funny. And so
accurate :)<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>The purpose
of Twin Fount Farm is to give students real life experience in farming, and the
business side of the trade. He teaches them how to manage their own money that
they make from what they sell. He gives them a piece of land and then schools
them on the best way to use it. One thing he said that stuck out to me was that
he doesn’t support or approve of students who are sponsored. He said those
students don’t understand the importance of hard work to earn money to pay for
the schooling Klaus gives because they already have it paid for. Klaus said,
“If it’s worth anything, it should cost you something.” The total profit that
the students make on their crops is matched when they graduate. Every month the
farm gives the students a sheet of all the costs of things the school is paying
for like food expenses and such. He says he tells his students, “We’ll give you
whatever you want to eat for lunch.” And then when they see the bill at the end
of the month, they change their tastes in food. I thought that was funny, but
so neat. It teaches the men and women lots of foundational things and I thought
his approach was pretty cool. We walked around and he showed us the big garden
that the students have to work with. I thought it was a really awesome place.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>We came
back to the Mission and hung out for about an hour until dinner. Petra and I
took a shower since were <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">staying at the
Havens tonight</i>! We asked Meagan if there was anything we could help her
with since the situation with Adam has happened. She said we could stay at the
Havens to give the Aunties a break and some rest. So we are! :) :) :) I am SO
EXCITED.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>We had
dinner and then Petra and I took about an hour nap to try and get some rest. We
woke up and all of us went to sing at the Merritt’s. It’s always so good to go
there. After that, Meagan brought us to Haven 1. She introduced us to all the
night shift Aunties and we got started right away with folding clothes. Lots of
them! It really makes you appreciate just how much laundry they so on a daily
basis! I changed and fed Aaron and then Petra and I just laid on the floor with
the babies that were still awake. Princess and Prince (yes, they’re twins),
Lisa, and Sofia. They all started getting sleepy one by one until it was just
Prince awake. I rubbed his back until he went to sleep and then I put him in
his bed.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>After we
finally got everyone asleep, Betty, the Auntie that speaks the best English in
Haven 1, told us that there wasn’t anything in particular for us to help with
until about 4:00 AM. She said that is the time when they’ll start washing
bottles and doing laundry. So I went to lie down to take advantage of everyone
being asleep. I slept for about an hour and a half and then woke up to some
babies crying. So I came to one of the rooms and found Petra with her Bible
talking with Betty. I came in and sat down and listened. Betty was asking Petra
about things like polygamy, having church on Sunday vs. having it on Saturday,
the Lord’s Supper and why it’s every week, if it’s wrong for a woman to preach,
hard questions like that. Really, really, good questions. Petra did a really
good job of explaining them to her and using the Word to show what she’s
talking about. Betty then asked me my life story. I told her about the things
I’ve been through, which sounded like nothing compared to things I’m sure she’s
witnessed. But I told her that I’ve found that being a Christian doesn’t make
life easier, but it does give me hope in the bad times. And I makes it all
worth it. After that Aaron started crying, so I fed him and then brought him to
the couches to lie down and hopefully get him sleeping again and we both ended
up falling asleep. How is it possible to love something so much? After about 2
hours (around 5:00 AM) I got up, finished feeding him, and then Betty and I
washed bottles. LOTS of bottles. I then helped her wash clothes, blankets, and
nappies in the bathtub. I know I probably slowed them down, but I’m learning!
Then I rocked Aaron and some of the other babies. I was talking to Aaron and <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">he smiled at me twice! </b>What a feeling.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>A few
minutes later it was about time to go, so I put him down, got my stuff
together, and then Petra and I sat with the babies that were about to eat
breakfast until Jeremy got there to pick us up. It was a great experience and
made me realize how much the Aunties must love those babies to do that every
night. I appreciate their job so much.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
God, thank You for the blessings that come after pain. It
makes me realize the blessing of the good times. Thank You for people like
Klaus and the people that make up the Namwianga Mission. To see them actually
living out their faith is such an example to me. I hope I can do the same.
Thank You for the Aunties at the Havens and their selfless sacrifice for those
children. I just love what You’re doing here, Lord.<br /><o:p> </o:p>Use me up in whatever way You can while I’m here and once I
get home. I love You.</blockquote>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">September 8, 2012<o:p></o:p></b></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Today has
been an emotionally exhausting day. There is nothing left to say but that.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>After we
got back from spending the night at the Havens, Petra and I slept for about 30
minutes and then it was time for breakfast. After breakfast we all went to
Adam’s viewing.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>We got
there and immediately after we got out two women came outside wailing. I’ve
never experienced that before. One of the women kept repeating the same thing
over and over and it sounded almost like a song. It was heartbreaking but
beautiful. Hearing these rock-solid women who have gone through more than I
ever will, wailing from pain. We stood outside for about 15 minutes and then a
man told us we could go inside and view the body. We went in and the moment I
saw him I started crying. He was in a small wooden casket in some of his clothes
and blankets. He kind of looked like himself but not really. The <u>only</u>
thing going through my mind when I was looking at his face was<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"> why. </b>Why. Why? The Aunties were all
crying as so was our group. We just walked around the casket and then walked
out. Once we got outside everyone broke. As soon as I looked over and saw a
couple of our guys crying, I started crying even harder. The realty of death
hurts. But the death of a child, it’s almost unbearable. It makes me ask, why
God? I mean, what was the point of Adam even being born if he was just going to
die so soon? Is it to teach us something? Or is it just simply showing the
reality of sin? I was just standing there, having absolutely nothing to do too
make it better. Watching our group in tears. Hearing the wailing. There wasn’t
an escape. We had to deal with this. There was no running away or blocking it
out. But that’s what I love about Africa. There is no escape here. There are no
distractions of technology or phones or friends or anything. We’re FORCED to face
things we’re scared of. We can’t look away or act like it’s not happening. We
have to see it, hear it, and feel it.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>We left and
then pulled up to the Havens for the burial. There we saw Adam’s family and
some interns that are working with a doctor here for a few months. All the
Aunties stood around his casket while all of the visitors walked by to look one
last time on our way to the graveyard. Walking into that graveyard, seeing
close to 100 stone heads was so overwhelming. To think that this whole process
has happened over 100 times. All I could do is cry. The injustice. The
overwhelming sadness. We all stood around and the Aunties carried the little
casket to where a man was digging the hole They were singing all the way there
and the whole time they were digging the hole. Finally the hole was finished
and a man spoke a while in Tonga. Then, some of the Aunties went and put some
things into his little casket and then some men carried and lowered it into the
hole. There were about 6-8 men who took turns putting a few shovel-fulls of
dirt into the grave. Once it was covered, the man who spoke prayed in Tonga and
it was over. We all walked silently back to the bus and came back to the
Mission.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I came
straight back to my room and typed my journal for about an hour until lunch. We
ate and then I came back to my room and just slept until dinner. I’ve been so
tired from last night and emotionally tired from today. I needed to give my
brain a rest. Kaitie came and woke me up and we had dinner. We cooked out
hamburgers which was nice, and then we had processing as a group.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>We all came
to the Hamby and sat in a circle. We talked about all that we’ve seen and
experienced today. Lots of people here are just hurt and confused. Trying to
find God’s love in it all. Where is it now? In this moment? His love was in all
of those Aunties loving on Adam while he was still here, but where is it now
that he’s gone? I think we’re all trying to sort through thoughts and
questions. Jeremy called on me asking what I was thinking and I started saying
what was on my mind, but I just broke down. I try not to in a large group of
people just to save people the awkwardness of tears but I couldn’t stop it. I
talked about how just seeing his face at the viewing, all I could think was why.
And how today at the funeral home when the ladies came out wailing, it
triggered a memory from HUT this summer. One of the cultural experiences we had
was that we had to care for a “baby” (a water balloon) and ours popped one day.
So we had to have a “funeral” for it, which included us having to bury it and
being required to wail. And I distinctly remember one of the staff girls
monitoring our “funeral”, as we were wailing telling us, “You need to wail
louder.” Remembering that today at the funeral home, actually HEARING those
women wailing out for something, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">anything</i>.
For healing. It made me SO angry remembering that from HUT. Just the fact that that
girl was basically making the art of wailing in this culture a spectacle for an
“experience” a few months ago and speaking of it lightheartedly. Being told to
wail louder? That is these people’s reality. And hearing it carelessly being
thrown around as a joke is not right. I know what she said came from a place of
ignorance, and at the time I didn’t think anything of it either, but after
experiencing that in real life, I was just really upset by it. Of course this
doesn’t reflect the HUT program by any means. I’m just talking about a comment
made by one of the girls working. It’s something that had been on my mind all
day.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>After the
meeting I came back to my room to write everything down so that I wouldn’t
forget anything and just to get some things out. I pretty much stayed here the
rest of the night, journaling and checking e-mail. I’m still so inwardly
confused, but I know God will heal. As I was journaling, I put on some music
and the song “Even If” by Kutless came on. It was absolutely perfect. One part of
the song that really stood out said, “Even if the healing doesn’t come and life
falls apart, You are God. You are good. Forever Faithful One. Even if the
healing doesn’t come.” <o:p></o:p></div>
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<blockquote class="tr_bq">
God, I don’t know why injustice like this happens. This is
the first time I’ve ever experienced the death of a child I know, but You go
through this everyday. You see Your own children dying everyday unfairly. How
do You do it God? Heal our group, Lord. I know it won’t ever make sense until
we get Home, but all I’m asking is for Your peace and Your healing. Blessed be
Your name on the road marked with suffering.<br />We need You. God, I love You. You
WILL be able to use this. Use us and this experience for Your glory.</blockquote>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">September 9, 2012<o:p></o:p></b></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Today was <u>such</u>
a good day. We got to sleep in until 8:00! We woke up and got dressed for
church, had breakfast, and then some students from the basic school came to our
place with Ba Sumafuta. They taught us a song “Muchingolo” and then we left for
church.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Today, the
church was only 15 minutes away which was nice in itself. We got there and
walked in and the church was packed! We sang a lot, Phil preached, Jeremy did
the Lord’s Supper, and a couple people prayed. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The last hour and a half of the service was
people singing and performing for the church. It was so cool! The songs they sang
were so upbeat and SO beautiful. I love how it’s a near yell when they sing.
You can feel the heart in their praise! The service lasted over 3 hours but it
really was enjoyable. After church we formed a greeting line and then left for
lunch.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>We came
back here and had what ended up being a 2:00 lunch. So I ate and ended up
coming back to my room and blogged last week’s entries. After that I went back
to the Hamby House (the place where we eat and have class) and just sat and
talked with some people until we had to leave for church tonight.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>We walked
there and stood at the front and taught a whole auditorium full of people some
songs. We sang “How Deep the Father’s Love”, ‘Magnificat”, “Mighty to Save”,
“Let God Arise”, “Awesome God”, “The Greatest Commands”, “Do Not Fear”, and “He
Is Wonderful”. It was SO hot, but so worth it. By the end of some of the songs
they were singing along with us, which made it less intimidating. They
absolutely loved it. But that’s something I still don’t understand at all! They
love our singing, but their singing is SO much better!<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>We came
back to the Hamby for a late dinner and after dinner Seth, Meryl, Sarah, and I
were in charge of dishes which was <u>SO</u> fun. We found these old lady glasses,
which was HILARIOUS because they magnified your eyes when you have them on. We
laughed so hard. After we finished and put everything away I came back to my
room and got ready for bed. It was a much needed, relaxing day.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
Thank you God for today. For the joy of the basic school
students this morning. For the encouraging church service. For the laughter
that today held. Thank You for being there through the steady times as well as
the rocky ones. I felt Your presence and healing today. Thank You. I know more
difficult times are coming and I pray that You be there.<br /><o:p> </o:p>Use us up, Lord.</blockquote>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">September 10, 2012<o:p></o:p></b></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Today was a
good day. We had Tonga, Humanities, and then breakfast. After breakfast, Meagan
Hawley, Petra, Kaitie, and I went to a doctor’s appointment with a little baby
named Ginsen. Ginsen is one month old and only 3.7 pounds. She won’t drink any
formula and her head shakes a lot. Her fontanel is majorly depressed and she’s
been on meningitis meds, but it hasn’t helped very much. The doctor referred
her to the Zimba hospital to be admitted. It was so sad to see something so
little trying so hard.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>We came
back to the Havens all the way until lunch. Little Aaron was asleep, but I played
with Prince and a couple other babies. I left Haven 1 and went to Haven 3 to
see Joel. I tried some new things to make him smile and laugh. He didn’t do
either, but he <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">is</b> showing more and
more personality every day. He was actually playing with a toy car I put in
front of him by turning it upside down and spinning its wheels. I know he understands.
It’s just getting that to come out. I’m not giving up!<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>We came
back to the Hamby for lunch and then I answered e-mails and read until dinner.
Then it was Family Meeting time at the Calder’s home. We sang a little bit and
then split up into groups of 3 to share something we were thankful for, as well
as something on our minds. Petra, Parker, and I went onto the containers and
shared our praises and our struggles. We met back and sang a couple more songs.
Afterward, Jeremy told us about the positive report he had gotten from the
Aunties about us! It made me <u>so</u> happy to hear that we are helping.
Sometimes we feel in the way, but to hear that they are relieved and excited
for us to come, is amazing news. We left our meeting and went to the Hamby for
Tea Time. River, Aubrey, Bridget, and I talked at the cabana table about
relationships and our future. It was really cool getting to know those girls even
better.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
God, thank You for the hope of Your salvation. I pray for
Ginsen. Please heal her. Whether it is on this side of Heaven, or by bringing
her home, I pray You do it quickly. Give Meagan strength to carry on, as this
life can wear her down. Refresh her spirit and give her comfort and assurance.
I pray for our group and staff. Thank You for Your faithfulness in spite of our
fickleness. I’m sorry for falling short so frequently. I pray You find a way to
use my failures as something that brings honor to Your throne. I love You God.
So much.<br /><o:p> </o:p>Here I am Lord. Use me. </blockquote>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">September 11, 2012<o:p></o:p></b></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
Another great, but long day! We woke up, had Tonga class,
Humanities, and then breakfast. After that our group split up. A few of went to
the clinic while others went on Measles outreach. The rest of us went to
chapel. Something that stuck out to me that the speaker said today was, “God <u>fights</u>
for His children.” I really liked that. It’s something I’ve heard lots, but it
registered in a new way today. Because of Adam I suppose.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>After
chapel a few of us girls went to the Havens. I started in Haven 2, the toddler
house. Those little things are so excited all the time! I held two little girls
the whole time. After about 30 minutes to an hour I went to Haven 3. BIG
progress today! I massaged Joel and then put him belly-down on the couch. I let
his little legs hang off towards the ground and let him slowly and gradually
slide down until his feet were on the floor. Every now and then he would try to
fold his legs back in, but I would hold his feet down and massage his legs to
keep them straight. So, I mean, he wasn’t standing on his own since the couch
supported him, but he got to see what it felt like to have weight on his feet!
I let go of his feet and let him sit like that for a full 5-10 minutes so he
could see what it felt like. Then, I let him sit cross-legged on the couch and
I sat on the ground and threw this little cloth rattle toy up on the air
towards him, let it graze his face, and then fall back on the floor. I kept
saying, “Uh oh!” And then after a few times of that I would throw it up in the
air and let it fall on his lap to see if he would do anything with it. After a
while, he took the toy and threw it off the couch back on the floor where I
was! It made me <u>so</u> happy! We did that for a while after he realized that
he was playing! It was so beautiful to see him finally come through! Also, I
held my hand out to him and he would put his hand back on mine, clap it once,
and take it off again. He just kept doing it too! I think the key with him is
repetition. Which solidifies Meagan’s guesses of autism. It was such a good day
with him!<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I left
there after about an hour, and went to Haven 1. Aaron was asleep so I played
with a couple little girls there, Virginia, Nicole, and Lizzy. I couldn’t stand
it anymore and just had to hold Aaron before the day was over. So I went and got
him and held him until we left. Then we walked back, had lunch, and then I
answered some e-mails.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>A group of
us decided to go play soccer, volleyball, and Frisbee with some of the college
students! I played volleyball and it was <u>so</u> much fun. We were <u>so</u>
bad and I felt bad for the Zambian guys playing with us! We kept launching the
ball every which a way and had to keep running after it. After over an hour of
playing and laughing and running all over the place to get the ball, we came
back for dinner. We ate and then I journaled a little and took a shower.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Then, it
was time for singing with Prince! We finally got to see him again after the
first time at the Merritt’s! He taught us a ton of harmonies and it was so
beautiful. After singing, Petra, Bridget, River, Parker, and I talked to him
until curfew. We just talked about what we do in the States vs. here, music,
tattoos, friends, marriage, pretty much any and every random thing! He is such
a funny and neat guy. We all love him a lot.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<blockquote class="tr_bq">
Thank You God for the Zambians. Thank You for our
differences. Thank You for our similarities! Everyone here makes me feel so at
home and I love it. Thank You for the progress I’ve seen in Joel. I know he is
Your angel. I pray that little Aaron keeps growing into the healthy baby he
should be. I love You, God.<br /><o:p> </o:p>Use me in any way possible. Through my words, actions,
anything. I’m Yours.</blockquote>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">September 12, 2012<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Today was
such a blessing. We had class, breakfast, and then went to the Havens! I went
to both Haven 1 and Haven 3 and both of my babies were napping, so I went to
Haven 2 to play with the toddlers. They’re so much fun just to play around
with. Runny noses, wet diapers, and all. I left there and went back to Haven 1.
Aaron was awake so I held and fed him. We worked on Tummy Time and he has made <u>SUCH</u>
improvements. He is able to hold his head so up well. I am so proud of him! We
had to leave shortly after that so I didn’t get to see Joel today, but I will
see him first next time!<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>We came
back to the Hamby for lunch and then Meryl, Bridget, Chris, and I went to town
with Jeremy. I got some money out of the ATM and Meryl got some zitenge
(skirts). I love walking through the market. I just feel right in the culture.
We left the market and came back to the Hamby where I just sat and talked with
people until dinner. We ate dinner and then some of us girls decided to go for
a walk.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>We walked
around a small part of the Mission, met some children, and then came back.
Petra, Kaitlyn Plachy, Parker, and I decided to play Spades and then Prince
came and joined us. We all really enjoyed his company. We played Spades for a really
long time and then it was time for the ones who wanted to, to go to choir
practice. I wanted to go to meet people and see what it would be like! It was
really fun, but I was <u>exhausted</u> to the point I couldn’t hold my eyes
open so I ended up leaving early and walking back by myself.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I came back
and planned on going to bed, but I ended up talking with Bridget about how she
is and we talked about things we’re wrestling God with. I told her about my
understanding of what she feels and talked with her about all my fears too. I
don’t know what’s coming for my life. I have so many unknowns. I need God to
send me discernment to know. Bridget and I talked about everything until
curfew. She encouraged me and made me feel so much better with putting it in
God’s hands. <span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Tonight for some reason,
after talking to Bridget all these thoughts and questions have really began to
affect me and I don’t understand what I’m supposed to do. I know, trust God,
but why is it so hard? After that I came back to my room and talked with
Kaitlyn Leonard and Meghan Laible about all of it too. They also really
encouraged me by reminding me that as long as I dedicate my life to God, God
will use whatever I decide. If what I choose doesn’t contradict Scripture, and
I am seeking Him in everything I do, I am in God’s will for me. I just need to
keep trusting. WHY IS IT SO HARD.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
God, I don’t know why all of these thoughts are hitting me
tonight. I don’t know what to do. Talk to me. I need Your answers. Mold me
through this.<br /><o:p> </o:p>Use me Father.</blockquote>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<!--EndFragment-->Holly Sullivan Jarchowhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16363157548552109883noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5117010090277886582.post-35124677277492222332012-09-09T07:59:00.003-07:002012-09-09T07:59:22.909-07:00Week 2: He has been mindful of His servant.
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">August 30, 2012<o:p></o:p></b></div>
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<br /></div>
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<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Life is
starting become more regular! Today, we woke up for breakfast, had Tonga class,
and then went straight to the Havens. We got to stay there all the way until
lunch! I LOVE my time there. I CAN NOT say it enough. I wish there were words
that I could communicate everything that happens and all the experiences and
emotions, but it’s <u>so</u> hard. You really just have to be there. I started
at Haven 3 today since I spent all my time at Haven 1 with Aaron yesterday.
Joel is still silent and not moving. It’s so hard doing things with him because
nothing brings out any emotion. So I spent about an hour and a half there and
then went to Haven 1. When I got there a lot of our nursing majors were in
there giving the babies shots. It was so cool to watch all of them in the
beginning moment of doing what they want to do forever! Seeing them experience
giving a shot for the first time and how proud of themselves they were was so great!
I didn’t give any shots, but I helped them right when I got there with putting
on Band-Aids :) After Aaron got his shot I held him the rest of the time. He is
doing so well on his Tummy Time! He is making so much progress in his neck
control and sitting himself up on his little elbows. He ended up falling asleep
on my chest. It’s the most fulfilling feeling in the world to have a tiny baby
fall asleep on your arms, able to feel its little breathing on your chest. All
I could think about was how much I love this child.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>We left the
Havens, came back for lunch, and did some singing. We’ve learned lots of songs
and even Ba Sumafuta said he was impressed with us compared to previous HIZ
groups!<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Today after
lunch I asked Meghan about Joel’s story so that maybe I can understand him more
and approach him better. She told me he comes from a family that has many
mental problems. His mom was mentally troubled, and those kind of disabilities
run in their family. Meghan thinks he may have autism and/or mental
disabilities. But she’s not sure what contributes to what. Hearing that made me
understand a lot more of why he might be the way he is. Now I understand that
he’s not just quiet because he’s stubborn or because of me, but simply because
he doesn’t know how to be. I’m so glad I asked her.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>After Tonga
singing we had our Mission Anthropology class and had our first quiz over a
pretty long reading we had. After class I went back with some of the girls to
the Mann House to read for a quiz we have tomorrow while some other girls did
Insanity. We had dinner and then after that I just started to feel <u>really</u>
bad. I just felt nauseous and lousy. I was hoping and praying that I wasn’t getting
the sickness everyone else has gotten. But I went to take a shower, hoping it
would make me feel better. It did feel better to be clean, but I still felt
weird. Some of the boys made a fire in a place we call “The Catacombs” which is
basically just ruins of a deserted house that’s close to here. We stood around
it only for a minute. Then all the girls went to our girl’s devo. Tonight,
Aubrey talked about fears we all have about Africa and not about Africa. She
read this little children’s book about Grover, the Sesame Street puppet, and
the whole book he’s scared because “he heard there was a monster on the last
page” and at the end of the book there ended up not even being one. And
basically Aubrey said that a lot of times in life we have fears, but God knows
our whole story. He knows what’s really on the last page, and a lot of times we
forget that or choose not to really believe it and we worry. Which is something
I really needed to be reminded of! Then we went around and some of us shared
our fears we have in our lives. It was cool to see everyone open up. I was
feeling really bad during it because of my stomach, but it was still so
encouraging. After devo, we all just hung around and talked about girl stuff.
Meghan and Louisa were there and it was so fun to have them there, seeing and
listening to them talk and laugh with us. A lot of the time it’s easy to forget
that although they do amazing things, they are normal people. Anyone can do
what they do. Well, anyone who takes initiative and accepts the call, is what I
mean. It’s so refreshing to have the constant reminder that being a missionary doesn’t
mean you’re sentenced to a life of solitude and seriousness.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>After devo
we went to Tea Time and I journaled some and <u>REALLY</u> started feeling bad.
I just sat there on the couch. I didn’t even feel like talking. It was time for
curfew so I came back to the house and started getting ready for bed and
FINALLY got sick. Afterward, I felt SO much better. Mrs. Bingham came over and
gave me some medicine for nausea and it’s supposed to knock me out soon, so I’m
going to try and get some sleep!<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
Thank You God for the blessing of friendship while we’re
here. For designing this life in a way where community is the way Your church
works best. Thank You for really cool things You’ve created. Things like
medicine to heal us, and even though this sounds weird, things like getting
sick. It’s so neat that You’ve given our bodies a way of getting rid of
sickness on it’s own! It’s just proof You’re on our side! :) How can anyone
think there isn’t enough proof? You are TOO cool. Thank you for my babies.
Please keep them protected by covering then in Your will. I pray You be with my
Tonga tutor as they are getting back to school soon. Thank You for Your
thankfulness. I love You.<br /><o:p> </o:p>Use me however You want. I’m all Yours.</blockquote>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">August 31, 2012<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>So today
was the hardest yet. I woke up at about 1:00 AM and threw up again. And I
thought I would feel better this morning, which I did a little bit, but once I
got dressed and went to class I started feeling bad again. After Tonga class I
went and sat on the couch and read a little. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Today it
was my group’s turn to go to clinic orientation. Clinic orientation is where we
go to the Mission’s clinic and tour around and see what all they offer to the
public for free! It was truly amazing. They have an x-ray machine, an
ultrasound monitor, a labor and delivery section, and best of all, free
medicine. Once we got there and started looking around I started to feel worse
and worse. I kept getting spells of feeling really drastic temperature changes
and dizziness. I finished the tour, but Jeremy had to come get me with the Land
Cruiser on his way back from town. The group was walking back and I was not
able to do it. Once he picked me up, we came back here and I laid down, slept
through lunch, and when I woke up I felt a little better! I guess my body just
needed a break from trying to both fight off whatever is in me, and trying to
function normally. I went to Missionary Anthropology and Tonga singing class
and then I read some and checked my e-mail. Reading all of my e-mails from
family and friends made me feel so much better. Mrs. Bingham made the sick people
some chicken noodle soup and some toast for dinner. I didn’t want anything too
heavy, and since I hadn’t eaten since dinner the night before I decided that
maybe if I got something into my system I would feel even better. And I did!<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I decided
to get up and go take a shower and then go with a small group of us that wanted
to go to the Merritt’s to sing. On the way there our van decided to sing
Christmas carols. We’re a special group. I’m telling you. It was hilarious. All
the laughing just made me feel even more back to normal. We got there and sang
some songs from last week that our group really enjoyed. After about an hour we
decided to come back and some of the girls decided to have a dance party. That
also made me feel even more recovered :)<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>So, as of
now, I still get really weird hot flash-ish things and my stomach feels strange
still, but the day ended MUCH better than it started. I am so thankful.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
Thank You God for healing me today. Thank You for Your
promises that we sang about tonight at the Merritt’s. Never let go, Lord.
Please be with the others that aren’t feeling well, I know it’s no fun. Thank
You for Your love and Your mercy.<br /><o:p> </o:p>I love You God. Use me.<br /><o:p> </o:p></blockquote>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">September 1, 2012<o:p></o:p></b></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><u>What</u>
<u>a</u> <u>blessing</u> <u>it</u> <u>is</u> <u>to</u> <u>feel</u> <u>healthy</u>
<u>again.</u> I feel 100% better.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I woke up
and went to breakfast, and then we all piled on the bus to go to the market.
The leaders gave all of us a few kwacha and a slip of paper with something in
Tonga written on it. Our job was to find the object on the piece of paper,
bargain, and buy it. I had a word that I had no clue what it was. So Petra,
Parker, and I went into a bakery and asked he cashier what our papers meant.
She told me mine meant “spoons”. She also told us where I could find them,
which was so helpful! Petra and I had found what we needed within 5 minutes, so
we had over an hour left to just walk around and look at everything!<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>We saw so
many little shops and looked through lots of people’s set ups of the most
random things! People selling used plastic bottles, zitenges, shoes made from
straight rubber, pretty much anything possible. Petra and I walked around and
found a couple of <u>really</u> cute zitenges (African wrap skirts), so we
bought a couple and then went back to the bakery and got a drink just as a
small “thank you” for how helpful she was. *Sidenote: This bakery had PEPSI.
Whenever I can get my hands on a soft drink it’s always a Coke, which is ok!
But to finally get a Pepsi was such a pleasant surprise. It sounds so silly,
but you’d be surprised at how happy you can be to see the little things when
you’re without.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>So we all
piled back into the bus with our objects. Plates, soap, kapenta (small dried
fish), carrots, chickens, and so much more! We made it back in time to catch up
on some reading and eat some lunch. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>At lunch I
sat with<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Meagan and some other girls and
just asked her about practical ways she got where she is. She said what she did
was visit the Mission for short periods of time and basically just earned the
people’s trust here. So when she was ready to come back for a longer period of time,
the Merritt’s and other people here that help run the Mission felt comfortable with
it. So that was one thing. Another thing she said was that she kept in touch and
followed up on how everyone was doing. She told us where she receives her
support, and just little details like that. It was <u>so</u> good to talk to
her! Another blessing of my day. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Right after
lunch, a lot of the girls went to the Havens since it was a free day today all
the way until dinner. We all went and we played all day. I spent some time in Haven
1 helping the nannies fold and crushing some corn for the babies’ lunch of
shima. These ladies know how to crush some corn! There were two of them and one
of them gave us her huge stick and tried to teach us the rhythm of the
pounding. We had passed the stick through our whole group, all of us out of
breath, and the other woman was STILL going. Put us to such shame.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>After we
helped (or tried to) I went and got Aaron. He was super groggy and as soon as I
picked him up he was out cold, so I ended up going to Haven 2 for the first
time since our tour the very first day. Those little things are FULL of energy
and I just love it! Meagan was in the middle of their language class when I
walked over there, and they were singing songs and playing games. It was so
much fun! All you have to do is just sit down on the ground and you’ll have
babies crawling all over you. It’s great.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I left
there after about an hour, wanting to spend some time with Joel and I had such
a successful day today as well! I laid him on his back and just massaged
everything. From his face to his toes. I really focused on his legs though,
trying to loosen them up so we could work on standing. After working from his
little thighs down to his toes, his legs were completely stretched out straight
by the end! It made me SO happy! I think that’s what I’ll do for about a week
and see how well he does and then go from there. It was <u>so</u> encouraging
to have some success.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>We all left
the Havens and on our way back, Jeremy met us with the bus asking if we wanted
to go to the Benson College’s soccer game, and of course we all did. We went
and watched for about an hour. It was so cool! They were so so good! I tried to
understand the rules of soccer since I’ve never played, and I think I got the
jist of it.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>We made it
back to the Mission just in time for dinner. We roasted hot dogs! And they
weren’t bad! Zack found this little chameleon that looked <u>just</u> like
Pascal off of Tangled, so of course all the girls were loving that. After
cooking out I read some more for class, and then River, Petra, Molly, Aubrey,
and I sat outside under the thatch-roofed cabana picnic table, just talking
about weird fun girly stuff<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>:)<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Then I came
back to the house and got ready for bed. The days seem SO SO long here. Every
night it’s hard to believe all that we do fits into one day.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>We have a <u>wedding
</u><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>to go to tomorrow! It’s supposed to
be a ways away, so I’ve got to get some sleep.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>In case I
forgot to mention, I love it here.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
Lord, thank You for all of the blessing that came with
today. Thank You for how much better I feel.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I pray for all the people in the market today. And really, anyone,
anywhere. Give them Your peace. Don’t let any of us rest until we find You.
Lead us back to You. Thank You for Your Son. Because of Him, we have hope and a
purpose. Thank You.<br /><o:p> </o:p>Use us however You can, Lord.</blockquote>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">September 2, 2012<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Today was
such a great day. We had to wake up SUPER early to get to church. We ate
breakfast and then left at around 7:30. It took us almost 3 hours to get to the
church and the road was BUMP-Y. But, I did get a lot of reading done! Last
night even more people became sick, so we didn’t have everyone, but I think we’re
all on the road to recovery!<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>We FINALLY
got there and we were greeted by only a couple of people from the church.
Barely anyone was there. We all piled inside and gradually people started to
trickle in. By the end of the service the room was packed. Today, our guys were
in charge of the service. Jeremy led singing, Luke did a prayer, Greg said the
Lord’s Supper, Chris preached, and Parker also said a prayer. I thought our
guys did fantastic! After that, they asked us to sing for them, so we walked up
to the front, sang a few songs and one American song. Then we all went outside
and formed a greeting line. It was LONG! But <u>so</u> cool. It’s where
everyone goes down the line and shakes each other’s hand and then once they get
to the end of the line, they stand there, and the line gradually gets longer,
but everyone greets everyone! I wish we did that back home.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>After that,
we got back in the bus and headed to the wedding. It was another hour down the
road, but we FINALLY got there. When we parked, before we could get out, a
drunk man greeted us at the window, smiling and asking our names. We knew it
was going to be an interesting day from the start. We all got out and a lady
ran over to us and was dancing clapping, singing, and yipping out of happiness.
We all walked over to an open area and some men, women, and children all gathered
around and the men started playing their drums. OF COURSE we all joined in and
started dancing along with them. Later we found out that the song we were
dancing to was about a woman from their community (that wasn’t at the wedding)
who cheated on her husband for a poor farmer. And when we found that out, we
thought it was so funny because the song was so upbeat, but it was asking,
“Why? Why? Why did you do that?” I thought that was super interesting, because
if anything like that happened in America, we wouldn’t even bring it up to talk
about, none the less SING about. And at a wedding!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But anyway, we were dancing with them at
least 30 minutes when we were interrupted because a wildfire has gotten right
up on us. They decided to move our bus because it was right next to all the
brush where the fire was headed. Our driver moved it and LITERALLY 15 seconds
after he pulled away, the fire engulfed the dry brush where our bus was. It was
<u>CRAZY</u>.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>After that
blew on through our group just kind of stood around waiting for he wedding to
start. After about 45 minutes of waiting, the ceremony started with dancing and
singing. Two lines were formed, guys in one line and girls in the other. They
danced a certain dance all the way to the house where the groom was, danced all
the way back to get the bride, and then danced the both of them all the way
back over to where the couple was going to have the actual ceremony. It took a
while for them to do all of that, but it was so fun to see all the dancing and
celebrating! The guests follow the two lines around, singing and dancing if
they want to join in. They finally got to the table and chairs where they sat
down. All the guests stand in a circle around the bride and groom where more
dancing happened. Then an older gentleman started to talk. The couple was given
little communion looking pieces of bread. Someone said it may have been tiny
bites of cake, but I’m not sure! The whole thing was in Tonga, so we had no
idea what was going on. The couple took the pieces of whatever it was, ate it
themselves, and then both walked over to each set of parents, and kneeled in
front of them to let them have some too. Maybe it’s the equivalent to our unity
candle? I’m not sure. They went and sat back down and the man leading the
ceremony said a prayer in Tonga, and apparently after that they were considered
married! We were told after the wedding that there was supposed to be a
preacher type person like we have in our weddings, but someone didn’t do what
they were supposed to and didn’t ask a minister to be there. So they settled
for this guy who wasn’t ordained or anything. But you never would have noticed
that. No one was upset or anything. Also, in the middle of the man talking in
Tonga, the same drunk guy that came up to our van window was walking back and
forth from one side of the circle to the other. He was talking and laughing and
yelling at kids to scoot back. It was so strange because no one seemed to
notice or even care. He was being so disruptive but no one said anything! It
was so weird because if something like that happened in America, it would ruin
the whole day. But the only emotion these people paid any attention to was
their joy. After they were married they continued to sit in their seats while
each gift from each individual guest was presented in the middle of the circle
in front of everyone. A couple of our guys went in the middle of the circle to
present our gifts of plates, silverware, the 2 chickens from the market
yesterday, and a couple other things. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Something
different about this culture is that on their wedding day, the couple getting
married is not allowed to smile. Throughout the whole entire ceremony until
they are together alone, they must keep a straight face. When I first heard
that I thought that was so terrible! To not be able to smile on your wedding
day while everyone around you is laughing and dancing out of excitement? It
seems so terrible. But later Ba Siaziyu explained to us why. The bride is
supposed to keep her head down the whole time and must be solemn out of respect
or her parents to show them that she is sad that she must leave the family. The
groom is not allowed to smile out of reverence to the bride’s parents, to show
that he is serious about the marriage. After it was explained it really makes
sense, but I could not imagine it!<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>We left
after we presented our gifts because we had such a long way to go and some
people had gotten sick while we were there. Bridget, Parker, Petra, Aubrey,
Zack, and I rode in the Land Cruiser and the whole ride back we talked about
the most random things. Like what we think the perfect date would be, lots of
“Would You Rather”s, and I Spy. Haha, lots of girly games, but it’s ok. Our
guys are such good sports :)<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>We finally
made it back and I went to the house to start on my cultural report that’s due
tomorrow. My dad e-mailed me wanting to figure out a time to talk on the phone,
so I hope we get to!<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Class is at
<u>6:30 AM</u> tomorrow. Woof. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
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<blockquote class="tr_bq">
God, thank You for our team. Thank You for all the different
kinds of people and the bond we share. Keep Your hands over us, revealing truth
to us by taking off the veil that our culture is so good at putting on. Thank
You for diversity and that You love to bless us with these kind of eye opening
experiences. They show us that there are more ways than our own and that ours
is not always the best. Please protect Joel and Aaron. I love You.<br /><o:p> </o:p>Use me however You want, Lord.</blockquote>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">September 3, 2012<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Today was
another day full of blessing. It was our first day of what our normal schedule
will be like. We had Tonga class at 6:30 and Humanities with Mr. Roy Merritt at
7:00. Today Mr. Merritt talked about the history of the church in Zambia and
the Mission. It was super interesting. We had breakfast at 8:00 and then chapel
at 9:00. It will usually be us and the students of George Benson Christian
College, but it was just us today since the students aren’t back yet. We just
sang some songs and then meditated on Ephesians 3:14 through chapter 4. It was
so encouraging to read. It’s so nice to be reminded God’s truth. Whenever I
read things like that it makes me realize how distracted I can become and how
many messages other voices of the world give all of us.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Some of us
girls decided to go to the Havens after chapel and I got to be there <u>all</u>
<u>the</u> <u>way</u> <u>until</u> <u>lunch</u>! I started in Haven 3 with Joel
and we made HUGE progress today. I massaged his legs and stretched them all the
way out and I figured that would be all I would do therapeutic wise, but he
found a toy he <u>really</u> liked and scooted on his bottom over to it! That
was THE first motor movement I’ve seen him do. So I put him on his belly in the
crawling position and walked a couple of steps away with the toy, and he
crawled to me! It was <u>so</u> cool and made me SO SO happy. Such fulfillment
flooded me! I don’t think that’s the first time he’s ever crawled or anything
but it’s huge progress with me! I made him crawl only a few feet and then I let
him play the rest of the day. I don’t want to frustrate him or make him feel so
stimulated that he shuts down, so that’s my progress with him! I know we’re
going to get far by the end of three months!<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I went to
Haven 2 after about an hour and sat with the toddlers for the rest of their
language class with Meagan. The way those little ones laugh and just roll
around all over the place gave me such joy. Something Meagan has taught them is
when she says, “Who made you?” They answer with a resounding, “GOD DID!” It is
so beautiful.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>It was
“Shima time” after language class which everyone was VERY excited about. I fed
two of the boys and then it was bath time. I couldn’t help much since the
Aunties have their own bath system, so I left and went to Haven 1 to be with
Aaron the rest of the day. He was asleep, so I just caught up on some reading
with him on my chest. I ended up dozing off and Meagan came in and told us she
would give us a ride back, so we left with her. After lunch, I read some more
and fell asleep until class at 4. We had Mission Anthropology where we talked
about worldview and then ate dinner. It was MAC AND CHEESE TODAY. SO. GOOD. After
dinner, my dad and mom called me from his cell phone, and it was <u>SO</u> good
to hear from them. It’s so crazy how much I miss them and how just hearing from
them can put me in such a better mood. I came back to my room, took a shower,
and then set up our living room for everyone to come over tonight since Family
Meeting tonight is here!<o:p></o:p></div>
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<blockquote class="tr_bq">
God, I’m still so thankful to be here, able to do all the
things that I am. I am so thankful that You have strengthened me through
everything, keeping me at peace instead of allowing me to go into a frenzy of
missing home and Alex and everything in between. I love You.<br /><o:p> </o:p>Use me up God.</blockquote>
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<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">September 4, 2012<o:p></o:p></b></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Today was
another busy, yet great day. I had Tonga class at 6:30 and it went well!
Sometimes I get confused with all of the words and conjugations but for the
most part it’s really not too bad! Today for our Humanities class we met our
new teacher, Dr. Kapaale. As soon as he walked into the doorway where we have
class, all I could see was Big Daddy (my dad’s dad)! It was the strangest
thing. He is about as tall as Big Daddy was, and he was wearing an EXACT outfit
Big Daddy had. He was wearing a white shirt with navy plaid-ish squares, shoes
like Big Daddy had, a sweater, and glasses just like Big Daddy’s around his
neck. I don’t know why my mind jumped straight to that, I suppose it was
because of his outfit and his height. But it made me smile.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>We had
class, ate breakfast, and then Petra, Bridget, Kaitie, Sarah, and I went with
Meagan to take a couple of the babies to get casts for their clubbed feet. We
drove about 30 minutes and when we got there the waiting room was <u>full</u>
of people. I thought it was going to take over an hour just in waiting time,
but we went straight back. The babies did so well. Only 2 tears! The room we
went back to was like a Physical Therapy type room and it was a lot nicer than
I was expecting. We all held the babies’ hands and legs while the girl was
putting the casts on both of Caleb’s feet and one of Paula’s.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>We left
there and right before we got back to the turn that leads us into Namwianga,
Meagan wanted to stop by one of her former Haven babies, Daisy’s, house. Daisy went
back to her family about 2 years ago and Meagan hadn’t seen her in over a year.
We pulled up and it was exactly like a scene from a movie. Daisy was standing
outside with some other older girls and as soon as she saw it was Meagan that
had pulled up, she started RUNNING. Arms flailing, tongue nearly out of her
mouth she was smiling so big. Meagan threw the truck in park, jumped out, and
ran to meet her. When they met they just hugged and hugged. Naturally, all of
us girls in the car were tearing up. There was such fulfillment and joy in that
moment. After Meagan talked to both Daisy and the young ladies Daisy was
standing with, we left, got back to the Mission, had lunch, and then some of us
girls walked to the Havens.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>It was so
good seeing my boys. I worked on Tummy Time with Aaron, and held Joel for a
bit. Time FLIES when we’re there it seems. We had to leave for Mission
Anthropology class, then had dinner, and headed over to Meagan’s for singing.
We all had so much fun singing everything we could think of. Aubrey and I sat
by each other, each of us taking turns holding little Helen. Just looking at
her tininess while we were singing about the power and might and gentleness of
God really gave me a different perspective of the Lord. It’s just incredible. Some
others and myself stayed a little after and just laughed and played some games
with Meagan for a few minutes. Meagan had to leave to give a baby at the Haven
an IV, so we left and I went to the Mann House to take a shower since out water
was out again.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>The rest of
the night I’ve just finished blogging from last week, and journaling. I am SO
tired! I can’t wait to get some GOOD, hard, <u>sleep</u>. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
Jesus Christ, I’m in awe of the way You show Yourself. There
are so many dimensions of You. You reveal Yourself in a different way every time
I experience Your presence. It shows me just how great You are. I can’t wait
for everything You have lined up for our group. Show us something new we’ve
never seen before about You. May we let You be big. I’m so blessed to call You
my Father and so humbled that You call me Your daughter. I love You, God.<br /><o:p> </o:p>Use me. I’m all Yours.<br /><o:p> </o:p></blockquote>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">September 5, 2012<o:p></o:p></b></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Two weeks
of being here! This second week <u>definitely</u> went by faster than the first!
We all woke up for our 6:30 Tonga class, had Humanities, breakfast, and then
went to chapel with the George Benson Christian College students. They’ve just
gotten back from their break! We sang “Leaning on the Everlasting Arms” and it
really, really, touched me. Just the images of the song I’ve never paid
attention to, and today I really thought about it while I was singing it and it
was so comforting. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Afterwards,
Bridget, Meryl, Morgan, and I went to the Havens until lunch. Joel was sleeping
today, so I held and played with Mercy. She was <u>SO</u> smiley today! I left
Haven 3 and went to Haven 2 to spend some time with the toddlers. I ended up
staying about 30 minutes, having little babies CRAWL all over me. I had 5
babies sitting on my legs at one time. Best feeling ever. I LOVE the toddler
house because they are able to interact, talk back, and sing songs with me. I
left there after a while and spent about an hour in Haven 1. I got there and
Aaron was awake, so I got him out of his bed, fed him his bottle, and then
dozed off with him. I was woken up with everyone saying they were ready to go,
so we walked back in time for lunch.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Then we had
Mission Anthropology and I studied for the midterm on Friday all the way until
dinner. After dinner some of us girls went back to the Mann House to do
homework.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>River,
Molly, Bridget, Aubrey, Petra, and I all decided to go lay on the storage bins
to look at the stars. They are <u>BEAUTIFUL</u> here. I’ve never seen so many
stars. We all laid there for a few minutes and then we started talking about
out lives We talked about things we struggle with and what we are hoping to learn
from this trip. While talking, feeling the cool breeze on my face, it just felt
so amazing. It literally felt like God was there with us.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>After sharing
everything we all got down (which was hysterical) and went to Tea Time. We (all
us same girls) went to the cabana table and talked about fun girl stuff. I love
these girls so much. The way we’re able to cry and laugh with each other is so
cool. I love it. And am so thankful. After that I came back home, showered, and
am FINALLY ready to sleep. Tomorrow should be another long, but good day! I’ll
be studying a lot for the midterm that’s on Friday I’m sure. Oh well! Lord,
please be there to help me!<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
God, thank You for <u>all</u> of the girls You have blessed
me with here. Our group is so unique. It’s only been 2 weeks, and I can tell
these are the kinds of gitls I’ll stay friends with forever, Thank You for
that. It reminds me that You’re taking care of me hile I’m here. Keep showing
me people through Your eyes. Hive me the words and the right mindset. Purify my
heart and everything not pleasing ot completely holy in me. I love You. <br /><o:p> </o:p>Use whatever part of my You can find that might help in any
way. I’m here, wanting to be used as much as You’ll allow me to be.</blockquote>
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<o:p></o:p></div>
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<o:p></o:p></div>
<!--EndFragment-->Holly Sullivan Jarchowhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16363157548552109883noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5117010090277886582.post-89316800998502652172012-09-04T14:09:00.001-07:002012-09-04T14:09:42.604-07:00Week 1: The art of losing myself.
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<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><br /></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">August 21/22, 2012<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
What a DAY!<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Our group
made it last night to Lusaka and stayed the night at a hotel called the Protea
Hotel. It was so nice! Not what I was expecting at all! We got there and pretty
much just went straight to our rooms since we were all so exhausted. Meryl and
I stayed together and I had the luxury of Wi-Fi so I was able to let my family
and Alex know I got there safely. Only problem was, I was exhausted, but my
body wouldn’t let me sleep and I ended up staying awake until 4:30 AM! I eventually
fell asleep, but this morning I woke up to Meryl telling me it was 9:15!
Realizing we were supposed to be downstairs for breakfast at 8:00 and supposed
to be LEAVING at 9:00, I SPRUNG out of the bed and started packing up my
chargers and bags and got ready. We hurried downstairs and grabbed a pastry of
some kind and met our group.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>We headed
out for our next day of traveling, except this time we would be on the ground
in a van! We had 7 hours of riding, but we were all together, packed like
sardines, so we didn’t really mind at all. We just made up stories with
Christy’s story cubes for kids, played “Would You Rather” and a movie game
where you think of a movie and only give the first letter of each word in the
title and they try and guess it. It was pretty fun! The whole van eventually
joined in and that was especially fun. I surprised myself in that I didn’t
sleep any of the ride, since I got so little the night before, but it was OK. I
ended up watching the people and all of the landscaping, taking my memory
straight back to last summer when I was experiencing this culture for the first
time. What a blessing to be able to do it again.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>We FINALLY
pulled up to the Namwianga Mission and we all became SO excited. We saw little
boys and girls running out of their houses and screaming and waving. It made us
that much more excited to know that the people were happy to see us and had
been expecting us. It was just the greeting I was hoping for :)<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>We unloaded
and got our room keys and went to our rooms to unpack before dinner. I was
pleasantly surprised to see where we would be staying. It’s a cakewalk compared
to Kenya last year! So Mom, you don’t have to worry anymore :) I’m rooming with
Kaitlyn Leonard and our room is so cute! We have two little beds, 2 dressers, a
closet, and a nightstand! It’s so cozy! We are staying in what is called “The
Pippin House” with 6 other girls! Lauren Ammerman, Christy Beck, Heather Baker,
Meghan Laible, Kaitlyn Wood, and Morgan Sorrell. We all unpacked our things, so
thrilled that we also had a living area, a small kitchen, and two bathrooms in
the house! We all got out our snacks and nail polish, giggling like little
girls not able to believe we made it! After so much preparation we were there!<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>We all went
to dinner, which was DELICIOUS. It was chicken, potato wedges, a salad, green
beans, and a roll. After dinner all the girls went to every one else’s houses to
look at each other’s rooms and what not. The houses are incredible! SO homey
and comfy. After we toured around we came back to unpack some more and then
went to “Tea Time”. Every night we will have Tea Time just as a time to hang
out and have fun together whether it be through cards or Apples to Apples or
whatever we all brought. We had hot chocolate, tea, and coffee. My table ended
up talking to one of our night guards named Justin, for a while. He was so
sweet and as telling us about his “four gewd keeds” and his beautiful wife. It
was so sweet to hear him talk about his wife. Every time she came up he would
whistle and say how beautiful she as. I started getting sleepy so I came back
to the room and went and took a shower. Well. By shower I mean a little drizzle
of water from our handheld shower head. I wasn’t complaining at all, it just
made me realize the small things that I wouldn’t even think about in America.
Whenever I want to get clean, I just jump in and jump out. But here, a quick
shower is at least a 20 minute ordeal. The small things like just getting all
of your hair wet to put in shampoo, takes a LOT more time. But, you know, a
change of pace is never a bad thing.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Tomorrow we
meet our babies. I can not handle how excited I am. When Jeremy told us that at
dinner tonight I LITERALLY started crying. It was kind of embarrassing. I’ve
been praying for those little gems for a while and to finally have faces to
those prayers TOMORROW. It’s too wonderful.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">God, make us bold.
Having a strong humility about us. Thank you for the gift of safe travels these
past 3 days. Tomorrow, may we see a direct image of Your innocence and love in
the faces of those babies. Show us Your vivid and blinding holiness, and
through seeing that reveal to us what we really are. Show us what we really are
not. I love You God. And not because things are wonderful right now. But
because You are always who You are no matter what I am. Thank you for bringing
me here. It feels SO GOOD to be back.<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Here we are Jesus. Use
us.<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<o:p> ___________________________________</o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p><br /></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">August 23, 2012<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>How do you
start a journal entry for today? Anything I can come up with, like “Wow” or
“What a great day” or “Today was amazing” would be weak and almost insulting of
everything today held.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>This
morning we woke up (on time today!) and had breakfast. We then gathered around
and had a little orientation with some more cultural tips and suggestions. We
talked for probably an hour and then took a small break and then met back to
talk about Haven rules. We (at least the people at my table) were SO excited
and soaked in every word Meghan Hawley, the director of the Havens, told us.
She told us things to expect and not to expect. Expect the Aunties to be
guarded and maybe even cold toward us in the beginning, since we don’t have
their trust yet. Expect that just because a baby has a wet nappy (cloth diaper)
doesn’t mean it will be changed. Expect the babies to scream and cry when we
put them down, not because they never receive love, but simply because they
don’t want to be put down. They know that when us white students come every
year all they have to do is cry to get what they want. The smart little rascals
:) Megan told us NOT to expect the babies to be developmentally “on time” as
Americans think children should be at their age. There will be babies there
that aren’t able to talk where as an American baby at their age knows lots of
vocabulary. There are babies that will be older than a year and are still
working on back muscles and crawling and things like that. I was taking in
every word, but I was just ready to go.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>The walk to
the Havens was the perfect little trail. Right now, Zambia is in its dry season
but it was still so beautiful with the tall grass. It looked almost like wheat.
It was about a 15-20 minute walk. We have to squeeze between two little wooden
posts that connect a barbed wire fence. That should be very interesting to see
how we’ll all manage that if they keep feeding us as well as they do every day!
The rest of the walk is down a sandy path all the way. On our way, Meghan
Hawley walked alongside each of us and talked to us about what we’re thinking
in terms of how many babies we would feel capable of caring for, and what our
major was and things like that so that she can get a good idea of who she wants
to pair us with. After talking with us she gave us cards with the name of our
baby, their birthday, and things they need to work on developmentally. She got
to me and asked me my major and I told her I was Speech Path, and she gave me
two babies that need some special therapeutic attention. I was SO excited to
finally have the cards with the names of my babies I’ve been praying for so
long, IN MY HANDS.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>My first
card had the name Aaron on it. He was born in June 25 of this year, so he isn’t
even 2 months old. Heart melting. His list of things to work on is “Tummy
Time”, “massage”, and “held when feeding”. Which I’m all about. Tummy time is
where we spend some time with our baby every day with them on their tummies,
working on their neck and abdomen muscles. The babies all sleep on their backs,
so they are usually very weak in their neck control and back strength. My
second card had the name Joel (pronounced like Noel) on it. Joel’s birthday is
July 16, 2010, making him just over 2 years. Joel’s list of things to work on
had “standing/walking”, “stretching”, and “muscle relaxation”. So for him,
massaging and encouraging him to make big movements will be key.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I HAVE MY BABIES!<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Once we got
there, we toured all of the houses, actually meeting our babies as we walked to
each of the rooms. The first house, Haven 1, is for children that are newborn
until they learn to walk. Once they start walking they move to Haven 2, which
is also known as the toddler house, or “The Zoo”. The third house is for the
HIV/AIDS, TB, developmental defected orphans. All ages are in that house. Our
team leaders decided it would be better if we waited to take pictures in any of
the houses until about a month down the road, just so it doesn’t come across
the Aunties like that’s the reason we came. I mean, don’t get me wrong, babies
really IS the top reason I came, but I don’t want to see them through my camera
lens. I want to see them as Jesus sees them and then the pictures will be more
meaningful. All of my attention should be focused on loving them rather than
making sure I have pictures of them. So! I literally cannot WAIT for the day we
break out the cameras, but I completely understand why we shouldn’t for now.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>After we
toured the houses we got to play with our babies for an hour. I went back to
Haven 1 to hold my little baby Aaron and ended up staying there the whole hour.
He fell asleep in my arms and it felt like Heaven on Earth. Holding that little
baby on my chest, feeling him breathing was absolutely perfect.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>After about
an hour we walked back to the compound where we live and had potato soup, which
was INCREDIBLE. Afterward Petra and I went to take a shower in out solar
showers while the water was still warm from the sun. We got in there and saw
this huge wasp and eventually killed it. Then, while we were in our showers she
just let out this <u>huge</u> blood-curdling scream, and after screaming back
and forth for a while she finally screamed, “THERE’S A HUGE SPIDER IN HERE!”
and she opened her shower curtain, and sure enough there was a huge wall
spider. After we both hurried up and got out. We saw more wasps and one crawled
into the sleeve of my t-shirt and stung me! It is so funny looking back at the
whole shower experience now, because from the outside of the door it probably
sounded like we were a couple of squawking chickens, but inside we were
honestly terrified. It really is hysterical thinking about it! <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>So, after
that episode I came back to my room and hung up my pictures in my room, and
then went to Tea Time. Luke, Greg, Phillip, Katie, Morgan, Addie, and myself
played Yahtzee and it was so fun! To end the night I came back to our house and
Meghan, Kaitlyn, Katie, and I t talked about everything under the sun from
10:00 until 1:45. It was so refreshing to hear about their lives and things
they have gone through and struggle with currently. It’s such a weird concept,
but there is strength in sharing hurts. It let’s us know we’re not alone in
this.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Today was <u>the</u> perfect day.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">God, I love how You
know what I need. Let me be the light others are looking for. But not in a way
that puffs me up, but so that people see how powerful You are. Forgive me for
the times I’ve misrepresented You and not loved Your people the way they should
be loved. Please bless Aaron and Joel with lives full of Your presence. PLEASE
give them ears to hear, God. Make them Your men one day.<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Well, we’re finally
here Lord. Ready to start this crazy adventure. Use us.<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
___________________________________ </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">August 24, 2012<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Today was
such a beautiful day. BUT, before I tell about it, I forgot to journal two
things about yesterday! The first thing, I forgot to journal about lunch! Don’t
worry, I won’t journal every day about everything we eat, only the EXCEPTIONAL
things :) Anyway, for lunch we had a traditional meal of nsima, rice, cabbage,
and chicken! Every Thursday for lunch we have traditional food. It was so good!
It really surprised me! It was SO much better than the traditional meals we
would eat in Kenya. The second thing I forgot to write about was when we walked
up to the Havens yesterday. “Mamma”, the head Auntie, was outside ready to
greet us. She asked us for a song before we went inside so we sang “Wabota” and
tears just started flowing down her face and she just fell to her knees with
her hands to the sky, smiling. And all I could do was just cry with her. I love
that sweet surrender. The humility that comes with the realization of just how
small we actually are. And in my culture, we’re hesitant to start the clap to a
song. And to be completely honest, it makes me so a<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">n</b>gry. It makes me feel nearly to the point of ashamed of my culture
and of American Christianity. These people fall to their knees in thankfulness,
yet we hesitate to raise our hands. I hate it so much. And I know it’s not what
God wanted. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But that officially finishes yesterday!<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Today, we
woke up, had breakfast and started our tour around the Mission. They showed us
where the secondary school, the primary school, the clinic, and the college all
were. We then rode to town and looked at the market and then stopped at a
restaurant called “El Pantano” for some slushie things that tasted like Sunkist
meets a Pineapple type thing. It was yummy! We saw this little girl there that
was ADORABLE. She would copy little things we would do and eventually wobbled
over to our table. She loved seeing herself in pictures :)<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>We left
there and came back to our place. We all met together and had a Mission
Anthropology class. Jeremy had written a post for the HIZ blog and told us to
critique it and comment on anything we didn’t like/agree with, or on things we
thought he could communicate better. It sparked some pretty interesting
discussion. The blog post was about how we are studying abroad in Zambia and it
poses the question of how can we not be what everyone thinks of when they think
of Americans going to Africa? How can we portray the RIGHT image of what’s
going on here. And what do we have to do so that people don’t receive the
message that the only reason we came was FOR the pictures, like so many people
do. So we’re kind of wrestling with those thoughts and questions, but it was a
good discussion.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Then me and
some girls went to the Havens and I got to see both of my littles. I spent all
but the last 10 minutes with Joel today because I didn’t visit him yesterday
and then the last 10 minutes I went to see little Aaron. He just makes my day
just by holding him and seeing his big brown eyes taking it all in. I love that
place. And seeing Meghan Hawley in her environment. I would LOVE to work with
her one day.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>So we had
to leave to get back in time for dinner and then Petra and I tried the solar
showers again. There were no wasps this time, but there WAS a wall spider. But
we killed it :) Gotta get used to that.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>This next
part had to be my favorite part of the day. Our team left and went to Roy and
Cathy Merritt’s to sing with some of the Eric’s House boys and a few ladies
that the have lived with the Merritt’s since they were little babies. OH they
can sing. ALL of them can sing. A young man named Prince led many of the songs
and he sang incredibly. The worship humbled me and made me realize who I have
yet to be in my worship. Like I said earlier, I am just constantly in situations
here that make me so frustrated with myself and with my culture. And I know the
way general Christianity is in America is NOT okay. We think because we are
faithful church attenders we have an upper hand to get through the gates. But
these people live, breathe, exist in worship. In reverence to God. If we
honestly assess ourselves and look at what we do in comparison to how they
live, we’re in the back of the line getting through those gates. These people
are a holy and pleasing aroma to God that makes our sacrifices as good as
filthy rags. It’s embarrassing and so humbling to think I could ever have this
figured out. I’m learning, and although I don’t know everything, I feel like
this is where I need to be.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">God, forgive me. I
asked to be humbled on this journey, and to feel that happening comforts me
because it means You’re listening. You haven’t given up on me. May my
heartstrings latch onto those babies and love them more than I’ve ever loved
before. Touch them through me. Kiss them through me. I’m sorry for the mess of Your
name my country and I have made. Cleanse us fully. Take it all. Out team is
here, ready to be molded. Leave Your fingerprints on us. Change us. Break us
and build us again. Let us know what it means to serve, to love, and to rely with
Your power. Send Your Spirit to live among us.<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">We’re right here,
Lord. Use us.<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<o:p>___________________________________</o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p><br /></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">August 25, 2012</b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Today was
so great in so many ways! We woke up, had breakfast, and left for Livingstone.
We finally got there after a couple hours in the bus. We exchanged money and
then headed over to Victoria Falls. And oh, how BEAUTIFUL it was. It’s even in
the middle of the dry season, so the water isn’t as much as it normally is, but
it was still SO perfect. It was so powerful and loud. So beautiful and pure. We
walked over a bridge right in front of the Falls and you could feel the mist
from it, hundreds of feet up. It was <u>so</u> cool. God is so powerful, how
can I say it enough? It’s so hard to explain it, pictures don’t even do it
justice, but they serve better than my words.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Before we
left Livingstone we stopped at an Italian restaurant called “Olga’s Italian
Corner”. We all ordered pizza and it was AMAZING! Like, WOW. So unexpected. I
ate SO much.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>We got on
the bus and rode back to the Mission, and the <u>whole</u> ride back, Brette,
River, Molly, Aubrey, Christy, and Bridget talked about <u>everything</u>.
Relationships, the future, and Alex :) It made me feel so god to talk about him
with them! It reminded me of how great he is and how much I really miss him. We
all decided in some shape or form we want to come back and be with Meghan just
learning from her and loving like she does. Having these kinds of talks with
these girls makes me realize how much I love them and how awesome it is that
our paths get to cross in this chapter of our lives. I love the realness of our
conversations and the gentleness of our desires. God is so cool for blessing me
in this way.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>After we
got back we had dinner and then just hung out. I held Helen for a little while
until Mrs. Bingham gave her a shot and then lots of us played Scattegories. I’d
forgotten how fun that game is!<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I decided I
was too tired to stay up any later, so I came back to the house and e-mailed my
parents for the first time since I’ve been here. It made me so happy to update
them and start sharing this experience with them as much as I can. I love them
so much.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Thank you God for
loving me enough to give me encouragement through others. Through the people on
this team that are here with me and through the people I love on the other side
of the world. Thank you for the love of a family. For Africa. For the place it
holds in my heart. I can’t wait to see what You have up Your sleeve for me
here. I love You.<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Use me.<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><br /></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal;">___________________________________</span></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">August 26, 2012<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Today was a
great, but kind of weird day at the same time! We all got to breakfast and a
couple of girls got REALLY sick in the night, so they ended up staying in their
rooms all day. A couple of other people didn’t feel well, but we all set out
for our first Zambian church service.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>River,
Kaitlyn, Sarah, and I all sat in the bed of the truck for the 45 minutes of
driving. One of the trucks broke down so we all stopped and one of the girls in
our truck got sick while we were stopped. We finally made it to church and it
was <u>packed</u>. We went to the church where Ba Leonard (our cook while we’re
here) is an elder. This particular church service was a special one. Every year
churches from around the area get together and worship for a full weekend.
Usually, the HIZ group misses it because it takes place right before we get
here, but this year it was delayed for whatever reason and we got to go! The
service was under a thatch roof and we sat on wooden benches and concrete
benches connected to the ground. We didn’t really know what was going on half
the time, and with the service lasting 3 and a half hours, it was a very, very
long afternoon. Towards the end they asked us to sing for them. We got up in
front of them and sang some Tonga songs, and they only laughed at us once! So I
feel like we were successful! Although we were all SO tired, I am glad we got
to experience it. I know Ba Leonard was happy to see us there. After all he
does for us, we were happy to be there with him.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>So we left
and made it back to the Mission only to find out that 3 more people were sick.
It’s so weird because we don’t know what it is! Louisa thinks it’s a virus, but
it was so strange that it all happened in one night! Once we made it back, me
and some other people played cards and then played ping-pong with some children
that live close to us. It was so precious and so much silly fun! The boys were
brothers. Duncan (age 7) and Jesse (5) know English so incredibly well! It was
so surprising! I know it won’t be the last time I see them :)<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>We had an
incredible dinner tonight of chicken casserole (seriously SO good) and then
Lauren, Petra, and I washed dishes. It took a while, but finally once we were
finished we hung out for a bit and then went to the Sunday night service on the
Mission. There weren’t many people there, and you could hear the bats! It was
funny! The speaker tonight was a young looking guy and he talked about how we
all have questions. Questions of “Why are these things happening in the world?
Things like sickness and darkness and violence? And how do we know what God’s
master plan is? Was all of this in His plan from the beginning?” He did such a
good job of explaining things and he reminded us that God’s original plan is
revealed through the Garden of Eden. God gave the Garden to Adam by giving him
dominion over everything. And it was Adam who forfeited that dominion by eating
the fruit. By disobeying God, he gave that reign over to the Devil. And because
of that forfeited power, the Devil has been called the god of this age. He
talked about how when the Devil was tempting Jesus, the Devil made Christ look
at all the land and told Jesus he would give it all to Him. So clearly, Satan
has what should’ve been man’s. Which is the reason why evil happens. He also
asked, “Why did God put the tree in the in the first place?” And the way he
explained it was like this: (I’ll try to make it make some sort of sense like
he did.) He said God most likely intended Adam to have the knowledge of good
and evil that the tree possessed. But not at that time. Adam was not mature
enough to handle it (obviously) because when Satan convinced him to learn it
early, sin happened through disobedience. The fact that Adam had the knowledge
wasn’t the sin, it was the disobedience. God perhaps meant for Adam to have it,
but eventually. Like when a parent gives their child an inheritance, the child
doesn’t get it right away. The child receives the parents’ inheritance when circumstances
arise and the child is old enough to understand and is mature enough to handle
it properly. Like a child, Adam was only a few days/months/years into his
existence when the Devil’s tempting happened. He was not ready for the
knowledge Satan was offering. That is why God told him not to eat it.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>The whole
concept was deep, and not saying, “Oh that’s it!” but it was really thought provoking
and worth thinking about.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>After all
of that we headed back to our compound and ended the night with Apples to
Apples. It was fun! Our group is too much fun when we all get together.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Class
starts tomorrow at 7…kind of excited to meet our Zambian teachers, but school
means homework, and homework soon means studying :/<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But! I think I’ll be able to see my babies tomorrow :) <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">God, forgive me for
lacking faith in certain situations. Give me Your eyes and Your touch. May Your
will be accomplished and unhindered in our group. We are all in Your hands. Let
Your will be done in the lives of Joel and Aaron. Really in all of the babies,
but especially them. I love them already and I can’t even imagine what Your
love must be like for them after You’ve intricately stitched them together and
created Your plans for their lives. I love You Lord.<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Use me as much as You
can</i>.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<o:p>___________________________________</o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">August 27, 2012<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Today’s
been another good day! We woke up EARLY for class at 7 and that was <u>rough</u>!
Last night we found out even more people became sick, so we were without a
couple more people throughout the day. We had our first day of classes, which
was so cool! We had Tonga at 7 with Ba Siaziyu. He was so excited to teach us
and make us repeat after him. It was neat hearing his story and finding out
about the schools he attended and such. We had breakfast, then another class,
and then Phillip, Seth, Kaitie, Petra, Molly, and I watched <u>Emperor’s New
Groove</u> which I had never seen before! I thought it was so funny! We watched
it because the other people were assigned to go to the clinic today, so we just
hung out for over an hour. Then Bridget, Greg, Kailey, Petra, and me played Uno
until lunch and then we had another class. After that was over we played with
the kids I wrote about yesterday plus some more! They taught us some of their
games they play here. One is called “Mango” but it’s the same as Hide and Go
Seek. We played that for at least 30 minutes and then I came back to my house
and got all my pictures off of my camera and started editing them Petra,
Aubrey, Bridget, and I decided to go walking around our houses and down the
road a little bit, being weird and taking goofy pictures until Family Meeting
time. There we just processed and discussed our cultural observations, cultural
mistakes we’ve made, and we sang of course. I love our singing times together.
I t was a true blessing though because everyone was able to make it to the
Family Meeting! It was so good to finally have everyone there and together
again! <span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>After that I was feeling kind of
lousy so I came back to the house, got my shower stuff, and went to the solar
showers since our house is completely out of water. It was FREEZING. So I ended
up just washing my hair and then used wet wipes on the rest later. The things
you get to do in Africa :) I then went to Tea Time and finished editing my
pictures and now am back home journaling, about to go to sleep! We don’t have
to get up until 8 tomorrow, so that’s a blessing as well! I’m still hanging in
there by not getting sick yet…knock on wood! We get to go to the Havens
tomorrow too, so I KNOW it’s going to be a good day. Can’t wait to have Joel
and Aaron in my arms.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">God, thank You for every
day, even the ones where nothing special happens like today. I love continuing
to meet Your children. Keep shining Your light and teaching me on the ways of
Your truth. I want to know the truth of You and who You are. What kind of God
You are here in Africa as well as the United States. Show me. Clear my mind.
Fill it with righteousness. I love You. Thank You for loving me.<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Use me however You
want. I’m here waiting for You.<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<o:p>___________________________________</o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">August 28, 2012<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Today was
another good day! I cannot believe we’ve only been here a week. Time here seems
to <u>drag</u>. I think it’s because there’s no set routine, so every day seems
like it holds at least 2 days worth of activity. It’s not a bad thing at al! I
feel like we should have been here 3 weeks by now though! We woke up, had
breakfast, and had Tonga class again which was fantastic! I LOVE Ba Siaziyu.
He’s so enthusiastic when he teaches. It makes learning so much more fun and
keeps me engaged. After Tonga class we were free to go to he HAVENS! I <u>finally</u>
got to see my babies. I helped the Aunties with feeding as well as folding,
getting the clothes that were drying off of the fence with Auntie Beatrice, and
I got to put Aaron’s nappy (cloth diaper) and onesie on him after his bath :)
Joel still is completely emotionless. Even toward the Aunties. When it’s bath
time he doesn’t cry or anything, which is so strange to me, especially when the
babies around him are screaming their heads off. I haven’t seen him smile or
cry or even say anything. He’s made only one sound around me, and it’s just so
confusing because he’s almost <u>2</u>! I need to try and figure out ways to
get him to at least babble. As for Aaron, he is still an angel. Just simply
holding him makes <u>EVERYTHING</u> all right in the day.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>After the
Havens we came back for lunch, more Tonga singing, Mission Anthropology class,
and then we had a few minute to ourselves before dinner. I decided to catch up
on some blogging until dinner. Then we ate, I took a shower (And it was warm
tonight! Thanks God <span style="font-family: Wingdings; mso-ascii-font-family: Cambria; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-char-type: symbol; mso-hansi-font-family: Cambria; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-symbol-font-family: Wingdings;"><span style="mso-char-type: symbol; mso-symbol-font-family: Wingdings;">J</span></span>
), and then we went to Meghan Hawley’s for singing. It was so good to hear the
promises of God in our singing. Meghan had Helen (a baby from the Haven) with
her. She’s not doing well at all. They think she may have a respiratory problem,
which is NOT good considering she’s 4 months old, but still the weight of a
newborn. It’s so beautiful to see Meghan fight for those babies.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>After singing
we had Tea Time, and I was just so exhausted, I came back to the house after
having some hot chocolate. I have SO much reading to do it’s driving me crazy.
I’ve got to catch up tomorrow! I just wish there were more hours in the day!
Maybe that’s why it feels like we’ve been here so much longer than we really
have.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">God, comfort us as we
are all missing home a little. As school is starting, and work/reading is
piling on, we’re starting to become more irritable. Keep us close. Whisper
reminders in our ear. I love You. Use me even when I’m tired. Even when I’m not
feeling 100%.<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Use me.<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;">
<o:p>___________________________________</o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p><br /></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">August 29, 2012<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Today marks
a full week of being here! This morning we woke up and went to breakfast. We
had to wait 20 minutes for Ba Siaziyu to show up, and when he did we found out
the reason he was late was because he had to rush a boy to the hospital because
he had gotten by a snake! But as soon as he got to class we jumped right into it.
We’re learning so many words every day! After class we had Mission Anthropology,
a break, and then lunch! We are beyond blessed to have Ba Leonard and his son
as our cooks. They are truly incredible. It makes me feel at home when we get the
kind of meals we do from them!<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>After lunch
we had another Tonga class except it was just singing. The man that teaches us,
Nelson Simafuta, is PRECIOUS. He is just so gentle and kind. He makes us all
smile. I <u>love</u> singing this language! After singing, Aubrey, Bridget,
Morgan, and I went to the Havens. We only had an hour and a half, but I didn’t even
care. I want to hold my babies everyday. I just stayed in Haven 1 today so that
I could spend more time with Aaron since I didn’t at all yesterday. I got there
and Aaron was in his little box crib and had thrown up on himself, so I asked
the Aunties for some extra clothes and changed him, and then just held him the
whole time. We worked on Tummy Time today. Lots of it too! I figured out if I
lay his upper body on a pillow, and then massage his back, he really moves ad
kicks and tries to sit up on his elbows. So we’ll work on that some more! So
exciting! :)<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>I always
hate leaving him. I just want to bring him back with me and hold him all day and
sleep with him all night. Ah, I can’t get enough. So we came back, had dinner,
and then I took a shower and started working on responding to e-mails! It made
me so happy to be able to feel like I’m talking to everyone! Then, Kaitlyn and
Meagan watched a movie and now I’m finally journaling. It feels so good to have
some down time to myself. And what’s even better? I get to go back to the
Havens tomorrow :)<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">God, help me not to
get caught up in myself while I’m here. You are the hole point of this. Reveal
to me Your holiness. Your worthiness. It’s all about You, Lord. It always has
been. It always will be. So let it be about You, God.<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Use me to proclaim
Your works and Your wonders.<o:p></o:p></i></div>
<!--EndFragment-->Holly Sullivan Jarchowhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16363157548552109883noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5117010090277886582.post-78962628346239222382012-08-21T19:21:00.003-07:002012-08-21T19:21:29.597-07:00Steady my heart.
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>August 20, 2012<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Today is
the day! I am currently on our Delta flight from Memphis to Amsterdam! The ride
is supposed to last over 7.5 hours and then we’ll land in Amsterdam and run to
our next flight from Amsterdam to Lusaka Zambia. The only thing is that the
flight leaves one hour after we land, so our group is going to have to haul
tail feathers to our next gate! The upside is that we won’t have a layover, but
the downer is that since the in-between flights is so short, we probably won’t
have our luggage tonight. But that’s alright! God is still God! We will stay
the night in Lusaka and get up Wednesday and ride a bus for about 7 hours south
to Kalomo, our final destination! It’s pretty wild that we left Monday
afternoon and won’t be getting to the Mission station until Wednesday evening!<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Today was
one of anxiety and sluggishness to an extent if you can believe it. We woke up,
had breakfast, cleaned up the house at HUT, sang some to practice for our first
day on Wednesday, and then pretty much just sat around until 2:00. Some people
were getting really antsy and nervous since we were having so much time to sit
with our thoughts. We were told today that Zambia’s main generator’s source of
electricity is extremely unreliable and basically broken for the time being. We’ve
been told that we may experience black outs for a while. Which isn’t the BEST
of news to hear, but it’s not really the no-electricity I’m bummed about. It’s
more of the safety issue. But after a while we were all ready to stop passing
time and start the journey of getting there already.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
At this moment the things I am most anxious about are:<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpFirst" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Cambria; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: Cambria; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"> 1)<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span>How I am going to deal with being back on
American soil in November. Typical me, right? I’m worried about getting back
when I haven’t even left. I just know that his trip is going to be something
that the Lord has strategically planned for me and has already gone before us
to prepare hearts, but I can’t bear the thought of getting home after
experiencing all God has planned, and feeling angry and bitter towards the
people I love most at home. I don’t want to be frustrated and unpleasant to be
around. I know the change in my perspective is a good thing and may spur others
on to do something and make a change, but I don’t want to become someone others
no longer want to be around because I’m so frustrated at the little things. I
don’t know, it may be silly or not make a bit of sense, but it’s something
that’s occupied my thoughts more than once.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoListParagraphCxSpLast" style="mso-list: l0 level1 lfo1; text-indent: -.25in;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Cambria; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: Cambria; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-latin;"><span style="mso-list: Ignore;"> 2)<span style="font: 7.0pt "Times New Roman";">
</span></span></span>The expected things that someone would usually
be anxious about: snakes, spiders, illness, heartbreak. It’s a constant battle
reminding myself to trust. Free fall into the safety of His hand. Rest in the
covering of His wings as He does the flying. Trust, Holly. You trust your
father here. God can promise even greater protection than my dad here. God
knows me more than I know myself. He watched me as I was growing in my Mamma’s
belly, and He is watching me today as I am 35,000 above ground in this plane. I
am His and He is mine.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
Keep me on this journey, sweet Jesus. Keep me from veering
to the left or right by focusing on my anxieties. Remind me that You are what I
am not and that it is OK if I can not do something. You work best in weak
people. Refresh my spirit Lord and remind me when I have forgotten that THIS is
what I’ve been wanting to do! I’m doing what I’ve always wanted. How can I shy
away from the call now that it’s here? Prepare my heart. Humble me. Make me a
learner. I pray for my Tonga tutor that I have not met yet. I pray for the
babies of the Havens that we haven’t met yet. Prepare us. Teach us to love with
abandon. And if Satan finds a way into that place and takes the life of a
child, I pray You use it for good. Whoever’s baby it is, may that be a time we
all rely on Your goodness, remember Your promises, and praise You with thankful
hands outstretched because You are God and You are good. May we let you be big.
Thank you for the beautiful story of the gospel. Here I am my sweet Savior. USE
ME.</blockquote>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
Holly Sullivan Jarchowhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16363157548552109883noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5117010090277886582.post-24488670241210877072012-08-21T18:49:00.002-07:002012-08-21T18:49:46.599-07:00Church, CiTonga, and Christ's image.<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>August 19, 2012</b><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Today has been packed, but wonderful.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>We started
the day with church. Many of last year’s HIZers were there and I got to see
Kelly again before we leave tomorrow! We sang a lot, which was beautiful as
always, and Dr. Huffard spoke about how our journey and our calling changes
throughout time. It is the same calling, but it changes ways in which it is
revealed in our lives. He said although we may think our hearts are set on
something, it will change down the road as our journey continues. After that we
sang some more, except in CiTonga, and it just made me smile to hear us all
sing together as one, knowing we all share this heart for Zambia.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>After
singing we all ate together, and many of last year’s girls talked to us new
girls at the table just about fears and what to expect. It was nice to hear
them talk about all of their memories and share little useful tips. After that
we said our goodbyes and had class with Dr. Huffard. He talked about the image
of God and how we are in His image simply by having the ability to display
characteristics like He has. It is hard for me to explain or put it the way Dr.
Huffard put it, but he used Exodus 34:6-7 which says, </div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
“And he
passed in front of Moses, proclaiming, ‘The Lord, the Lord, the compassionate
and gracious God, slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness, maintaining
love to thousands, and forgiving wickedness, rebellion and sin. Yet he does not
leave the guilty unpunished; he punishes the children and their children for
the sin of the fathers to the third and fourth generation.’”</blockquote>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
He used
this verse to show the characteristics God chose to display to Moses. And each
characteristic He spoke about Himself are all things we are able to do as well.
Things like forgiveness, justice, love, mercy. The way he put it made sense and
I really enjoyed it!<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>We then
headed over to Camp Takodah to jump around and swim. I was just what I needed
after 2 days of classes. Just hanging out with our team, not in a heavy or
serious context, really made me feel better about it all. Our group is still
being so amazing and positive.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>We came
back and had dinner, and after dinner I talked with Brette and Kaitlin Plachy
about everything up until now. Our fears, what we want to get out of all of
this, doubts that we have for our future. It was so cool hearing how we all
share similar pains and fears. We prayed together and it was so refreshing.
What a blessing it is to have a group of people so serious about their faith
like I am.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>We all came
back together and had a time of singing and sharing of promise passages form
the Bible. Promise passages are excerpts from Scripture where God either makes
a promise to someone, or He tells what He is going to do. It was so comforting
listening to everyone’s thoughts and all the verses. It really made me realize
that I have nothing to worry about. Next we all started watching a movie which
ended up being kind of strange so I just came upstairs and rearranged packing
and got everything together. I am SO tired and just mentally exhausted from all
of the processing. I can’t believe the day is <u>here</u>! <o:p></o:p></div>
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
Oh God, grant us peace and serenity over the next few days
as our team adjusts and copes with what is going on. We need Your conformation
that we are in Your will and we need Your Spirit to guide us into situations we
need to experience. Be with my mind and steady my heart. Thank you for
everything. Thank you. Here I am, Oh God. Use me.</blockquote>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
Holly Sullivan Jarchowhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16363157548552109883noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5117010090277886582.post-84221927698968992162012-08-21T18:44:00.004-07:002012-08-21T18:46:23.000-07:00E1, E2, or E3?<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>August 18, 2012</b><o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Another
successful day! Today was full of classes and lectures. Our classes were mostly
about mission anthropology and worldviews. And they were pretty interesting to
me! Jeremy talked for a while, and then his father, Shawn Daggett, came and
taught the class about culture shock. Something we talked about with Mr.
Daggett really stuck out to me. He was talking about the 3 different types of
missionaries. You have your E1s, E2s, and E3s. E1 missionaries are people who
reach others that have a similar language as theirs, but have a different
worldview. An example would be an American reaching another American that is
lost. An E2 missionary is someone who reaches others with a different language,
but similar worldview. This would be someone from America going to France to
encourage and teach people there. And then there are E3s. E3 missionaries are
people who reach others having a different language and worldview. This would
be what most people think of when they hear missionary. But anyway, the thing
that stuck out to me was when Mr. Daggett said, “If you find yourself adjusting
easily to E2 or E3 culture shock, do you think that perhaps that is how you
were meant to serve the Kingdom of God?”<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It stuck out to me because I’ve been thinking and hoping
that this trip would tell me if an E3 or E2 missionary is what I would be best
at, but I haven’t really figured out how I would know when I find that answer!
And that was so true! Maybe the way I handle this culture shock will be what
lets me know the answer to that.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>But in all,
every class was wonderful today and so thought provoking. It really caused me
to think deeply and realize that there is an underlying psychological issue
within the world, affecting the worldview of us all. It really opened my eyes
to just how much people are searching for the truth. People just want to make
sense of the world and figure out why things happen, so they think of reasons
and superstitions and explanations for it. They just don’t know it’s Christ
that they’re looking for. We need truth. We <u>need</u> it.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>We ended
the night with s’mores and half of the group watching The Lion King and a few
of us playing Risk. It was so much fun. Can I just say that I love our group? I
don’t think that I’ve said that yet ;)<br />
<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
Oh God, save us from this world. Save us from ourselves and
the mess we’ve made. Give HIZ 2012 the words You would speak and the touch You
would give. Give us boldness in Your Spirit and the peace of Your Son. Never
stop loving us. We need You. I love you my God and my Lord. Here I am. Use me. </blockquote>
</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
Holly Sullivan Jarchowhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16363157548552109883noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5117010090277886582.post-45827730717785753412012-08-21T17:59:00.002-07:002012-08-21T18:00:13.643-07:00Reunited and it feels SO good!<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b>August 17, 2012<o:p></o:p></b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>Day one is
complete and my heart is overflowing. I mean, it is literally pouring over the
brim with joy. The day started out sluggish and honestly downcast. My mom
hugged me goodbye early this morning before my dad and I set out for Searcy. I
told her goodbye with eyes full of tears, knowing this would be the last time I
hugged her for the last time for 3 months! Talk about surreal. My dad and I
left and the ride seemed to go by so fast. We just hung out and talked about
the workings of God and how will we know if what we are doing is in His will.
If we take action and do what WE think God would want us to do, is it wisdom by
not staying idle and just waiting, letting opportunities pass by because we
haven’t received an “answer? Or is our go ahead attitude really a lack of
faith? Oh the mysteries of Christianity.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>We got to
Harding and I saw some friends, went and said goodbye to Lindsey, and then went
to the GAC parking lot to meet up with our group and say goodbye to more
friends and my dad. Kelly, Kaitlyn, and Cierra walked up and as soon as I saw
them tears started streaming! I just love those girls’ hearts so much. We
hugged and hugged and then prayed together before I had to say goodbye to my
dad. It was such a wild mix of emotions. I was sad to leave, but happy to see everyone
again. Excited to go, but nervous to leave. I said bye to my dad and just being
wrapped in his arms made me cry and cry knowing it was my final goodbye before
leaving. I love him so much. Our whole group, parents and friends alike, got in
a huge circle and we all prayed and then we left. The moment our bus pulled
away all the doubt and nervousness vanished and it was all excitement. It was
the weirdest feeling in the world having all the uncertainty of the past week
just disappear! Maybe it was because I knew there was no going back, so being
excited is the only thing left to be! We drove to the Fouts’ house (The Fouts
are an older couple that cooked for us at HUT and are cooking for us this
weekend while we’re here again). They are such sweet and generous people. We
got there and their backyard was the coolest thing! It was a man-made lake with
a rope swing, tubed slide, huge 25-foot dock, and zip line. It was sweet. I
ended up jumping off the dock. That thing had to have been 25 feet at LEAST. It
was so scary up there looking down, but while I was at the top the only thing
on my mind was how similar this situation is to the whole Zambia trip! The drop
is so tall, but I’m standing on the edge and there’s no turning back. I have
to. So the only thing left for me to do is count to 3 and go. So I did. And
once I hit the water, I’m so glad I did. It’s like this trip in that I wish I
didn’t have to leave, but I just have to run. And once I jump, I’ll be glad I
did.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="mso-tab-count: 1;"> </span>So we left
there after a little over an hour and rode to HUT, rolled our luggage inside,
and met to have an Intro. to our Mission Anthropology class. Then we had dinner,
which was DELISH, and Jeremy (our leader), his grandmother made cookies for us!
After that we had a “Welcome party” and played a bunch of silly games together.
Then we took and break and met back together to talk about the ways we saw God
move in our lives this summer and to sing. This group is such a blessing. I
have laughed more in this one day than I do in probably two weeks combined. We
all just love being together. All of us. We love each other and are beginning
this adventure and I cannot think of any other group of people I would rather
spend this semester of growth, separation, and love with than with them. The
thing that makes it so unique is that every person brings such a unique piece
of something to the table. Our group is not our group without one person.
Everyone contributes something, and that’s what makes it so unique! We already
have this bond and the semester hasn’t even begun. It’s like this huge stitched
quilt, and God has specifically picked out each square and stitched us all
together for this moment. Each piece, individually crafted with its own colors
and experiences. All sewn together to create this big picture meant to function
as a whole. I’m starting to really and truly experience the feeling of how the
body of Christ is meant to work.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<i>Oh God I praise you for Your omniscience. For knowing each
of us and putting our group together. I pray for the purity of our hearts that
we each truly live to glorify Your name and Your name alone. Humble us to the
condition of this world and give us a bold confidence in speaking Your truth.
May we be meek like Jesus Christ and be heard so that seeds can be planted. I
pray for the heart of my Tonga tutor. Prepare us both for our connection this
semester and may we both be teachers to each other as well as learners. I pray
for the life of my baby I will be holding in only a few days. Cover him or her
with the protection of Your hand. Guard their mind and heart as they walk their
path on this side of eternity. Here I am Lord, use me.</i></blockquote>
<o:p></o:p></div>
Holly Sullivan Jarchowhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16363157548552109883noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5117010090277886582.post-67760288561317537282012-08-10T11:29:00.000-07:002012-08-10T23:18:28.066-07:00The pause.<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
I’m all buckled in.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I’ve had to have checked the seat belt three times at least.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
All of my friends are in the seats beside, in front, and
behind me but it feels like I’m the only one on this thing. The girl working
the control board comes over the speakers. “Please keep your arms and legs
inside the car until the ride has come to a complete stop.” My palms start
sweating and my stomach already feels queasy. I know the ride can only last a
maximum of a minute and a half, but to me, that’s 90 seconds too long. The
brakes squeal as they release, and there’s no turning back now that we’re starting
our climb up the first hill. Nervous chatter fills the seats, but all I can
hear are my own thoughts. My own doubts. The belt keeps clicking as we continue
our ascent. I try to look ahead toward the track to see what’s about to happen,
how much higher we have to go, which loop is first, so that I can prepare
myself. But I can’t see a thing. The only thing I can see is the ground and
just how high I actually am getting. The people are becoming smaller and
smaller as my heartbeat is getting stronger and stronger and my grip keeps
getting tighter and tighter. I chuckle under my breath. “Why do I do this to
myself?” It seems so silly. “Knowing my luck, this would be the one time that
something goes wrong on this thing.” Even the knowledge that millions upon
millions of people have gone before me, and even more than that will go after
me, I still can’t help but brace myself for the worst. And then we come to that
dreaded halt. Where I know it’s about to start. But it hasn’t yet. We’re all
sitting there, my friends and I, and in that two in a half second pause at the
top of that first peak before it plummets and nosedives and twists and soars
and plunges and spirals, I know there’s no getting off this thing. Heart
pounding, mind sprinting, skin sweating, the wheels start turning. And then, as
we begin the downhill coast, speed picking up, my hands release its sweaty death
grip from the metal handles and I remember why I do this.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
7 days.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
One week is what separates me from the biggest adventure of
my life up to this point.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
168 hours until my life changes completely and forever.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
These 7 days that stand between me and August 17 are my two
and a half second pause. That short amount of time where I think of any and
every thing that could possibly go wrong. I could lose my luggage completely. I
could hate being there. Terribly. I could get malaria. I could misjudge what
I’ve signed up for and end up doing very poorly in my classes. The child that I
am responsible for for three months not only could, but realistically may die.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But life and rides have something in common.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
In those loops that always make my stomach ache and my head
get a tension migraine, when I’m wishing this contraption would just hurry up
and get to the end of the track so that I can get off, I realize this ride
isn’t going to speed up for me. And in that moment when I’m on my back, hands
as straight as they can go, shrieks of pure exhilaration echoing in unison with
everyone else, wishing this flight would last forever, I realize this ride isn’t
going to slow down for me.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I know there will be moments in the 14 weeks I’m gone when I
wish I could get on a plane and get home. When all I want is to talk to my mom
and hug my dad. When the only thing that will make me feel better is a Moose
Tracks milkshake and snuggling with a blanket and my dog. I know there will be
moments of pure bliss when I wish that this semester could just last forever.
When I’m looking into sad eyes on faces of pure joy, finding my calling. When
our team is singing and dancing to the beat of African songs, experiencing the
kind of love for one another that God had intended for us to have towards each
other all along from the beginning. When that baby of mine smiles when they see
that our van has pulled up and reaches up to be held as we walk through the
door.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I know I’m not the first to go through this experience or
these feelings, and I’m certainly not the last. But it doesn’t keep the
thoughts from scrolling like the credits of a movie on TV that are just trying
to hurry up and get off the screen. I can’t even process them they come and go
so quickly. But despite the worry and the doubt, I’m not getting off of this
ride. Yes, I COULD lose my luggage. Yes, I COULD hate it. I highly doubt that I
will, but I know I will have my moments. I COULD get malaria. I COULD do
extremely poorly on assignments and tests. I COULD find myself with hands empty
of a child by the end of November.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I could.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
But I can’t rob this experience by spending this short pause
that I have before the journey starts, thinking of the coulds. <o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I know these 3 and a half months will be full of moments.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Lots of peaks that I can’t see over. I won’t always know
whether it’s a blessing that’s coming or a tragedy that’s barreling down the tracks.
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
All I know is that I’ve got three and a half months that aren't going to speed up nor slow down for me.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Three and a half months is what I have to embrace each
experience. Reach out and touch faces. Grab hands and interlace fingers. Rock
babies and sing with African Christians at a near shout to the same God that we
mumble praises to here in the States. Three and a half months to discern if a
long term lifestyle like this is my mission. Three and a half months to soak in
every syllable, every touch, every second spent in God’s will. Soaking up every instant, of happiness
and heartbreak, until this particular ride comes to a stop.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
So I have to take advantage starting now in these 7 days.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I will seek peace starting now and I will seek peace this semester.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I will find moments to laugh this week as I pack and I KNOW I will laugh plenty this fall.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I
will love the people around me now and I will relentlessly love the people of Africa.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Hands held as high as they can go, completely surrendered of control, thoughts of what could happen becoming replaced with the stimulating thrill of the moment, letting JEHOVAH-SHAMMAH, the Lord who is present, EL ROI, the Strong One who sees, EL-SHADDAI, God Almighty, remind me why I do
this.<o:p></o:p></div>Holly Sullivan Jarchowhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16363157548552109883noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5117010090277886582.post-59340991713760936512012-04-23T21:07:00.004-07:002012-05-21T12:59:02.593-07:00You revive me.WOW have I slacked. <span class="Apple-style-span">But let me just say, this semester has been an ABSOLUTELY incredible.</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">God has proven Himself faithful again.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">And again.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">And again, and again.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">I have been drenched with blessings straight from His hand.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</span></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><o:p>There have been too many life-shaping things that have transpired to not testify about His faithfulness and not speak about them. So here </o:p><span class="Apple-style-span">are my top 3 blessings this semester, and, of course, they are even better than what I was praying for:</span></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">1) I have discovered friendships between 3 girls this semester that I <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">know</b> I will have for forever. He has answered my prayer of giving me people whose hearts beat as mine. They’re passions and their desires and their spirits are all like mine. We have the true heartstrings of sisterhood and I have never meant it more when I say that I <b>love</b> these girls.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</span></div><br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgKFei1OSk5L3Et7qtITwQ0KRHFZHONTnIzn8iBBD_tLjSrcy36ita-fjJFCnNdDPuxB6uS8cx0SMF7M0pAGhhphUrJNznGslHodT1j2f8xbNniwHekio0JXA1ef_drhXIYvc5djzgAHCc/s1600/DSC_0078.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><img border="0" height="265" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgKFei1OSk5L3Et7qtITwQ0KRHFZHONTnIzn8iBBD_tLjSrcy36ita-fjJFCnNdDPuxB6uS8cx0SMF7M0pAGhhphUrJNznGslHodT1j2f8xbNniwHekio0JXA1ef_drhXIYvc5djzgAHCc/s400/DSC_0078.JPG" width="400" /></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit; font-size: small;">FINALLY!</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table><br />
<div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">2) My classes have been fantastic. I am <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">enjoying</b> going to class. Like, what.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">Learning about Speech and Language Pathology has made me so excited. Everyday I learn more, the more I fall in love with it. And after this next week of finals, I am a semester closer to starting this dream career! I’ve started learning sign language and LOVE. IT. It is so mind-blowing how intelligent people are who use this mode of communication. How they are able to think and move their hands so fast, as where we just speak to get our point across. They must use their full body to communicate not only their words but their emotions. It seriously is amazing and has shown me yet another beautiful side to my Lord and God. Not to mention I get to LEARN it and get GRADES for learning it.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">Another blessing.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">3) My Bible class this semester has been the best I have ever had in my life. I have learned so much about Acts through Revelation, and so much more. We’ve discussed topics such as miracles, baptism, the Lord’s Supper, womens’ roles in the church vs. mens’, predestination, the history of the church and why Paul and the other writers of these books are writing about what they are, the literal and symbolic nature of Revelation, when to interpret the Bible literally and when to take only the principle from the story, the Jew/Gentile struggle and reconciliation, <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">EVERYTHING</b>.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">I feel like I understand SO much more than I ever have before of why I believe the way I have been taught to believe and what this kind of truth means in my life.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">I have been challenged to dive head first into Scripture and ASK QUESTIONS. It’s quite alright if I read something and don’t understand. It is healthy if I am confused when I’m done reading. That means that as I’m reading I’m paying attention to what the Word is saying instead of mindlessly scanning the words I’ve read my whole life. I don’t need to shove it aside and throw the safety blanket of “I don’t have to understand everything to be a Christian” over my brain’s tangled mess.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">I am learning. I am learning. I am learning.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">It is this class that is causing me to fall in love with the Word like never before.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">I love reading about the power of Christ’s resurrection. I love reading how I, TODAY, am the one that completes the faith of the men and women of old. What we do with our faith COMPLETES theirs. <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">I</b> complete it. <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">We</b> complete it. I love reading about how the Spirit is described as a rushing wind. This is who my God is, rather than some disconnected and uninterested Being that we chant to every week. He is real. He is ready to include us into His story.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">I find myself in awe of His love just by these three blessings.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">And there have been hundreds!<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">From learning how to worship with a pure heart, to days where the weather is <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">absolutely</i> perfect.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">Thank you my sweet Jesus for this unbelievable, unreal end to my freshman year.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">Of course, you know I can’t blog a post without updating what God has been teaching me on the inside since the last time I posted. So here we go:<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">Time has been flying and so have been my thoughts.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">They seem to jerk back and forth from one extreme to another. One day I’m pumped for the future, ready to get it going, and the next my mind analyzes every single action and word, wondering what in the world I’m going to do.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">My heart is completely open and pushing toward mission work still. Sometimes the push is more like a forceful dragging because I get so excited for it to be here. <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">But I still have heartstrings here.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">Every bit of me wants to do this, but there are things that I know I’m holding on to.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">I need the strength to be willing to let go of everything if the time calls for me to. I need the patience to wait until I see if there’s any need to let go at all. If that time comes and I see that I do indeed need to let go, I need the faith believe that I will be OK wherever I am.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">I feel so silly even questioning in God’s sovereignty over it. He sees big picture. He knows it all. Literally. All about my life. All about your life. He knows. He can see where every decision I make leads.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">And I can’t. I can’t see it all and I can’t know everything. There isn’t a possible way for me to be able to take a turn and look into the lenses that God looks through.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">And that’s the problem. When it comes to the future, there’s a mind block. There’s quite literally NO WAY anyone can know the full extent of the blessings and curses to come in every decision made. And here’s where the problem happens with me. I’m such a planner. I love to know. I love to be prepared. I love the feeling of getting things done and putting that check next to things. I love that exhausted feeling at the end of the day where you know you’ve gotten a lot more done than you expected to. That feeling of being efficient. And I would consider that as one of my strengths.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">But that’s my downfall as well.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">I can’t always know. And I can’t always be sure. Sometimes decisions have to be made before I can have any kind of idea if it was in fact the wisest choice, and all I have to go on is a whim. I hate that feeling. I hate feeling like there’s something I could have done better. That feeling of,<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><i>“If I just would have known.”</i></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><i>“If God would have just told me straight out what He wanted.”</i><o:p></o:p></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><i>"If only I could have seen this coming and started preparing myself for this sooner."</i></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">If something goes wrong, I always feel like there could have been SOMETHING I could have done better. Or some kind of sign I could have picked up on. Feeling unprepared, caught off guard, or having doubts is something I don’t deal well with. And I know it comes from a place of liking to be in control. I like to be in control of as much as I can. Not so much dictator-esqe type of control. I mean just being able to determine my own outcome as much as it depends on me. My mind functions and works in the attitude, <i>“Well if I can do it the way I want, why not? Why ask for help when I know I can get it done the way I want it done?”</i> And I don’t think anyone is far removed from this. Everyone has a remnant of this kind of thought processing. If you know you can get something done and it be exactly how you want, why pass the duty on to someone else that you aren’t sure can produce the same outcome?<o:p></o:p></span><br />
This is so wrong. This is so anti-dependant on God and community.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">And here’s the truth:<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">This is where God comes in and turns it all upside down…or is it right side up?<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">Faith.</span><o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">Your mind that is full of doubts, uneasiness, anxiety, uncertainty, <b>fear of </b><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">no control</b>.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"> </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">FAITH.</span><o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">So much struggle and trust and uncertainty in one word.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">One word is what holds me back from living the life I was made to live.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">And I feel like I just can’t do it.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">I can’t just allow my future and my relationships and everything that is so important to me just free-fall. I can’t. It’s all too important. Where I live and what I do and who I serve and who I marry lead in completely different directions, and each direction’s destination lead to completely different lives. How can I let such huge choices just <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">be.</b><o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">How do you find the peace to just dwell, knowing what a burden making the wrong decisions can lead to? <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">You find it through faith.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">Not the faith you’ve grown up around your whole life.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">This faith is the faith of Abraham.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">Gen. 22:2-5.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">“Then God said, ‘Take your son, your only son, Isaac, whom you love, and go to the region of Moriah. Sacrifice him there as a burnt offering on one of the mountains I will tell you about.’ Early the next morning Abraham got up and saddled his donkey. He took with him two of his servants and his son Isaac. When he had cut enough wood for the burnt offering, he set out for the place God had told him about. On the third day Abraham looked up and saw the place in the distance. He said to his servants, ‘Stay here with the donkey while I and the boy go over there. We will worship and then we will come back to you.’” <o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">The faith that was not just willing to kill his own son, but was <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">on his way up the mountain to do it. </b>The faith that turns around to his servants as he’s leaving to sacrifice his son and says, “WE will came back to you.”<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">And how much more faith does it take to believe God will spare you from <u>killing</u> your son than it does to believe that God knows full well what is best for your future?<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">All I can think is how shameful, how small, how weak, how fragile my faith is.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">But I am learning how to strengthen it. I am asking God constantly to strengthen it for me. To come inside of me and work. Because I can no longer live my life in fear of making the wrong choice. Everything has to be soaked with faith. From my prayers to my relationships. When I pray without faith, God tells you and I that <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">He does not hear it</b>. He TELLS us that! And I cringe at how many prayers I have prayed in a spirit of not knowing if God will do anything.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">Oh God forgive me for that.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">It is the hardest thing I have ever had to learn because these kind of lessons take time. And by time I mean days. And months. And years.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">But I am praying, I am trusting, and I am falling more in love.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">I am being molded into a woman of prayer and woman of faith.<o:p></o:p></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">How can I complain about that</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Times, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: x-small;">?</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 11pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></div>Holly Sullivan Jarchowhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16363157548552109883noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5117010090277886582.post-43131818227962547572012-01-12T13:55:00.000-08:002012-01-12T13:55:54.237-08:00A new kind of path.BIG NEWS PEOPLE!<br />
<br />
I changed my major! WOOHOO!<br />
<br />
After constantly being on my mind, and my brain being restless with the idea of Nursing, I decided to attend my first day of classes this semester just to see what it would be like having both Intro. to Cell Biology and Anatomy and Physiology 1. So I walked into my Intro. to Cell class, sat down, and started listening. The teacher thoroughly made it clear on how intensive this semester will be with all of the work and study time it was going to require. She told us not to think of Spring Sing as an option, and to be prepared for Intro. to Cell and A&P to take over our lives this semester. The more she spoke the less and less I felt any motivation to continue in Nursing. And not even because of the work she was talking about! I can handle the work if it’s something I know I want to do! But that was the thing. I DIDN’T know for sure that Nursing was what I wanted to do, and that was too many demands from a major that I’m not even passionate about.<br />
<br />
<br />
SO.<br />
<br />
<br />
I marched straight to the Student Life office, got a couple names from the sweet lady at the desk, and went and talked to the woman I needed to see to make the change! And decided to change it from Nursing to Speech Pathology! WOOHOO!<br />
<br />
I really like it so far! All of my CSD (Communication Sciences and Disorders) classes are super interesting to me. I have a really good feeling about this :)<br />
<br />
What I love about it so much is how diverse the options are. I could work in schools, hospitals, private practices, anywhere! I could work for, and be a part of, any kind of business.<br />
<br />
Which also includes overseas work! :)))<br />
<br />
It is most definitely something I can use across the world and help people of all socioeconomic statuses and of all ages. I could help across the spectrum. From elderly men and women after experiencing a stroke, to helping babies with swallowing techniques. I can do it all! And I absolutely love that!<br />
<br />
My schedule is wonderful and I’m actually taking one more hour than I was before I switched, but I’m done everyday by 1 (except for Mondays). Which I LOVE.<br />
<br />
I’m so happy and excited to see what all I’m going to learn about the field and about myself this semester.<br />
<br />
Someone sent this video to me in an e-mail when I was accepted to HIZ this coming Fall and told all of us that were going to watch it! It is so wonderful and JUST what I want to do. Forever.<br />
<br />
<div>It's worth your time. Trust me.<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="225" mozallowfullscreen="" src="http://player.vimeo.com/video/31941968?title=0&byline=0&portrait=0" webkitallowfullscreen="" width="400"></iframe></div><br />
Please please PLEASE stop and say a quick prayer for me begging God to keep leading me down His path. To keep revealing His wants for my future. I would love you forever!</div>Holly Sullivan Jarchowhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16363157548552109883noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5117010090277886582.post-83287503355923327802011-12-14T07:52:00.000-08:002011-12-20T23:19:20.017-08:00Let my lifesong sing to You.<div class="MsoNormal">Ohhhh college. Always some kind of important decision to be made.<br />
<i>Too many</i> important decisions to be made.<br />
Especially when someone's as analytical with her decisions as me. </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
TOO many decisions.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Lately I’ve had a LOT more questions than usual about my major.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">(Am I really surprised?)</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">I’m VERY much the type of person that if I know things aren’t going to work out in the end, I don’t want to waste any more time in it. And I’ve had a <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">lot</b> of questions come up about Nursing.<br />
What if I want to have a family? I want to be able to spend meaningful time with my husband and my kids. I don’t want to work all day and come home only wanting to be in the bed. I know how meaningful it was having my mom’s company in my life and I’d rather be there for my kids, and them know that, than be in a profession that denies me that.<br />
<br />
I’ve talked to 2 or 3 people about it and they have said that it is difficult, but do-able. Which comforts me, but for some reason I feel like a part of my heart just isn’t into nursing. And I don’t know why. Every concern I find an answer to, it seems like my mind comes up with another one and why nursing won’t work.<br />
<br />
For example, I went and gave blood a few weeks ago and hated every second of it! In fact, I passed out! Not because it scared me or anything, just because my blood sugar spiked! But I woke up to a nurse giving me a Coke and the male nurse tapping on my foot telling me that in order for him to be able to finish the bag I had to stay awake. So embarrassing. :/ Like how can I be a nurse if I hate the simple things like giving blood! I don’t know if this is God gently urging me to go on a different path, or Satan trying to stop something that He knows will make a great impact. My mind feels like it’s just in a never-ending circle and I hate it! Terribly!<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">So I took it upon myself to kind of be brainstorming as to what I would want to do if it wasn’t Nursing, and of course the only thing that comes to my mind is that I want to do something I feel like I’m good at! I spent all day one weekend crafting and making Christmas presents for family, and it instantly hit me mid-brush stroke. My art! My talent in art would be perfect! If I was able to do what I love everyday and help people cope and heal through doing what I love, now THAT would be an occupation. How rewarding would that be?<br />
<br />
So I researched some options, went to the career center here at Harding, and researched some more. And I found some incredible possibilities!<br />
<br />
One is that I could be an Art Therapist. I would assist people, kids, adults, seniors, whoever express themselves through art. I would help them express their hurts and their secrets, their pain and their past. And what an opportunity something like THAT could bring. Talk about an opening of doors.<br />
<br />
Another option I found was to be a Speech Pathologist. I would help any and all ages who have been through surgeries, birth defects, or trauma and assist in bringing back to life their ability to communicate. In some cases (like in situations dealing with birth defects, and maybe even after some degree of trauma) I would be their very first true friend. <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">It’s like there are SO many options I could do anything.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">It’s just the only thing that’s holding me onto nursing is the dire need for it. Abroad and even here. My Intro. to Nursing class has taught me <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">so</i> much and shown me just how needed people are in the profession. I want to use my talent of intelligence but use my artistic passions at the same time. It’s seriously confusing and my head is in a tailspin.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">HOWEVER! Off of the heavy, and onto something MAGNIFICENT that has happened recently!<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">I’VE BEEN ACCEPTED TO HARDING UNIVERSITY’S PROGRAM IN ZAMBIA!<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">I will be LIVING in Zambia for three months next fall! I AM SO THANKFUL!<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">And EXCITED and READY NOW!<br />
<br />
When I got the confirmation e-mail my stomach was flipping <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">all</b> over the place! I can NOT wait. We’ll be working with all ages, but mostly children in a place called The Haven and we get assigned babies to work with every day, do some school work of course some where in there, and just love on some people! This trip is huge because if I stick with Nursing, this is what I want to do with it. So maybe God will speak through next fall to let me know what it is He wants for me, whether it is or is not in Nursing. Who am I kidding. He definitely WILL speak on next fall and let me know what He wants for me.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">So I <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">need</b> prayer for direction in my future academically and just in general.<br />
I need prayers for my relationships.<br />
A LOT of uncertainties are coming up in the next year.<br />
But with every uncertainty there seems to be a boatload of blessing that comes as well. There always has been.<br />
<br />
So I trust.<br />
It hurts, but I do.<br />
It’s scary and frustrating.<br />
I can’t pretend that it’s all giggles and confetti when it comes to waiting on God in His timing.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">But I do.<o:p></o:p></div>Holly Sullivan Jarchowhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16363157548552109883noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5117010090277886582.post-49328593686507194512011-12-05T17:39:00.000-08:002011-12-11T21:04:36.012-08:00Who am I that You are mindful of me?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Club week.</div><br />
<div class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">Three words: Oh my goodness.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Such a blast of activity, emotion, and fun.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">Before I even say anything about the week itself, I have to start off by thanking God for answered prayers. Because that is just what Pi Theta Phi is to me. An answered prayer.</div><div class="MsoNormal">Heyyy.....three more words before I start: God is good.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">The week started off with NONE of us knowing what to expect. Any advice or stories told by other older girls was no good because they changed up everything about the week this year. They weren’t allowed to do hardly any of the same things they had been doing in the past. All our pledge class knew was that the mixers, the hugs, the giggles, and the smiles from the older club members were over.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">The week started with all of us piling into this huge room full of all of the pledges from every club, girl and boy, to go over the new hazing law in Arkansas. We all had to sign a paper saying we wouldn’t take any part in any kind of hazing activity and would report it if we saw it. Then just PTP’s pledges all ran over to Midnight Oil only to be met by the screaming members of PTP forming a tunnel for all of us newbies to run under. It was so great. So then we all talked a little, hugged each other, and stood in a circle. We prayed, and as soon as the “Amen” was said we were jerseyed from behind by our big sisters! It was so crazy. My big sister is none other than the beautiful Kinsey :) Loved it.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">We then proceeded to break into our families, take pictures around our amazing letters made by some pretty talented ladies in our club, and then ran off to start working on our club books. The rest of the night we met in one of the classrooms and just talked about what the week would consist of and fun details like that.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">The week was full of surprises, stresses, and teamwork.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">We made Halloween cards for patients that were in a hospital here in Searcy, had nightly all-club craziness, pledge-class breakfasts, fact memorizing, t-shirt making, banner constructing, cheer learning, and movie making.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">All club was such an experience. The whole club went into the GAC and were met with every single other club already in their places in the stands screaming and dancing and cheering for their clubs.</div><div class="MsoNormal">I don't know what I was expecting, but I know it wasn't that. Literally my favorite time of the week. We sat down and they started off with singing (which was beautiful), and devotional thought, and then we started roll call. Roll call is where there's a man on the mic and he calls out a club's name and they stand and begin their cheer for the night. It was so much fun watching what everyone had come up with, and SUCH a rush standing up and cheering for our own club when they called our club's name out. I think that's where my pride for PTP slowly started to unfold :)</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">You can find one of our amazing cheers here:</div><div class="MsoNormal">http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=10150338066606222</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">:)</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">My job was to make the movie for the week with the theme of “A Day In the Life of a Pi Theta Phi Pledge”. I didn’t think I was going to be able to do it in time, but with the help of my AMAZING and life saving sisters Macy, Hayley, and Savannah we got it finished JUST in time. Literally. <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><br />
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</div><div class="MsoNormal">So Friday finally comes and it's the last night of pledge week. We're all tired with our emotions in a frenzy, but we're all excited :)<br />
So Friday night the last night of all-club went great and we headed out to Mrs. Parson's (one of our sponsors) house. We were told that from campus to her house we weren't to talk at all. So in silence we rode to her house, got there, and stood in a group waiting for the club members to come down the hill where we were. They came and we began trekking through the woods arm in arm with one of the older members. We stopped as Nikka (one of our VP's) read a Scripture and then we broke off and individually found a spot in the woods to pray. I LOVED that time. Love love loved it. It was incredible to just be on my knees in nature and talk to the One that made it all. So as I'm sitting there I think about how much I do the talking and how little I actually listen to Him. I don't ever wait for His answer. I just assume He's going to reveal it to me through people or just by an inkling in my heart. But what if He wanted to answer right then? I ask Him for all these answers, plead with Him as to what I'm supposed to do here, and where do I go when I get there, that He very well could have answered me but I wouldn't know because I'd be too busy talking! So as I'm sitting there, in silence, waiting on God, a breeze comes. And not one that just tussles your hair a little. I mean a breeze that shakes the trees. A breeze that rustles the leaves that are on and off of the trees. And I just start crying. It's like He was telling me, "I'm here. Do not worry. I AM hearing you." I mean how can you not weep when God speaks?<br />
<br />
So we all come back together and walk a little further. Auburn (our other VP) read a Scripture and then we broke off again except this time we got into groups of two and prayed, came back together and walked a little further. Then we read Scripture again and broke off into groups of 5 or so to share what's going on in our lives and how we need prayer and then prayed for each other. We walked again, stopped and read more Scripture, and then broke off into groups one last time. We all got with our families and prayed for each individual in our family one person at a time and just sang praises over each other thanking God for each other and what each person brings into our lives. Words can't even describe.<br />
<br />
We then made our way back up the hill and around to the front of the house where we saw this beautiful bonfire. We all circled around it and listened to Nikka as she applauded us for our efforts that week. Then we prayed together for the memories and friendships that would be made over the next few years and then we opened our eyes only to be jerseyed! It was so great hearing my sister Kinsey say, "It's over! You're in the club! It's over!" Haha no really. It was great hearing those words. :)<br />
So we sang our club song for the first time together and proceeded to chant and squeal and laugh and smile together. Learning forbidden cheers and such :) </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
After that we all broke off and went to get food and then came back for something called "Naked Night". Naked Night is where the ladies of PTP and the new members create bonds that will never be broken. And no, not through anything that requires you to be naked...just to clarify!<br />
It is where all 90-something of us sit in a room and we all share our deepest and darkest struggles, secrets, or addictions. We remove the mask the world has told us to put on, and we are completely transparent with each other. And were we transparent. Things you don't even think people struggle with were brought to light. Addictions from the past were told and hurts from the present were shared. It. Was. Amazing.<br />
I can tell you the Devil was <b>upset</b> that night. Because who does that? How often do almost 100 girls cram into the same room and instead of showing each other only the good in ourselves, come together to say, "Look at the very worst things that I've done." I've never before experienced a night like that one, and I am thankful. It's a strange thing how people can be brought closer when they share things about them that you would think should bring them further apart. I can't relate to half of the things that were shared, but instead of making me break away, it makes me want to be closer. It makes me want to know more and it makes me cry harder.<br />
<br />
We talked that night from 12 AM until 6:45.<br />
Almost 7 hours of complete cleansing.<br />
<br />
All in all the week was more than successful. Even though it was stressful towards the end, it was something I’ll cherish forever. It created a bond between us as a pledge class that I treasure greatly. We had a Facebook group open to all us in the pledge class, and it lifted my spirits seeing so many women in the faith. Like I said, my prayers were answered by these girls. The whole beginning of the semester I’ve been begging God for better, deeper, more meaningful friendships. And that’s exactly what I found Club Week.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">I love all my sisters.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">I love my God.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">Not because He “gave me what I want” through PTP.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">But because He was faithful yet again, showing His power and love for me.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><o:p>_____________________________________________________</o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><o:p><br />
</o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;">“What are mere mortals that you should think about them, human beings that you should care for them? Yet you made them only a little lower than God and crowned them with glory and honor.” Psalm 8:4-5.</span><o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"><br />
</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"><br />
</span></div>Holly Sullivan Jarchowhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16363157548552109883noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5117010090277886582.post-79722953936938886932011-10-03T23:11:00.000-07:002011-10-03T23:13:00.455-07:00I will sing...for He has been good to me.<div class="MsoNormal">Over a month and a half in the big 501!<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">I cannot believe it. 6 going on 7 weeks. You mean I haven’t been here for years?<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">I had the absolute JOY of being able to go home last weekend! One of my Bama friends from college, Molly Gammon, rode with me and we kept each other company for that killer 6 hour drive. She lives in Birmingham so she got to spend the weekend with her family and friends like me!</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Friday night I made it home (finally!) and was greeted by little Minnie who was a big ball of excitement and eventually ended up standing in a big puddle of pee! Haha she couldn’t stop for the life of her! I’d never been happier cleaning up her mess in my life :)<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">I hugged and kissed, talked to my parents for a little bit, ate a couple sausage balls :), and left to go see my WONDERFUL best girl friend in the world Savannah. It was her birthday weekend and she had a ton of our friends over and I had to see everyone! I walked (ok maybe I ran) into her kitchen and squeezed the life out of the birthday girl first…then it was on to everyone else! After that we talked about how college is and how different life has become! Some of the girls told me about their horror stories, struggles, and the positives, of going to Bama. I loved catching up with everyone. I just couldn’t get over how different it felt. I didn’t feel like I did in high school when we would all talk. I felt older. Like we all had experience now. We all had tasted what life on our own is like. What this world is like.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">There was no better feeling than being around people that I love, and that I know love me. Being able to talk to someone for the first time in 5 weeks to someone that <u>knows</u> me. Having a conversation with people that don’t ask me what there is to do for fun where I’m from, and what clubs I’m looking at. They already know. We know how each other work. There isn’t any need for getting-to-know-you questions. We know.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">I’ve realized how much I’ve taken the blessing of acquaintance for granted; because I’m thirsting for it here.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Saturday I got up and went with my Dad and Mags to Best Buy and FINALLY got a new phone! (If you know me at all, you know this was LONG overdue!) My contract was up for an upgrade, and needless to say I was a happy girl! That afternoon I went with Alex to the Alabama/Arkansas game. I got to stop by the infamous Big Bad Wolves stand and see my wonderful friends! Not gonna lie, it made me sad to be in the place where I worked for so long, seeing everything as it’s always been continue on without me, but the barbeque nachos soon comforted me ;)<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">That night my mom and dad cooked a DELICIOUS dinner of steak, mashed potatoes, and salad. It was so good to be at the dinner table again. In my spot. In my house.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">The next morning I woke up, packed the car for my trip home, and left for church.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">The whole time at church I just couldn’t stop smiling. Seeing familiar faces and giving hug after hug telling and re-telling and telling again how much I love Harding.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">If I’ve learned one thing from being at home two weekends ago, I realized how much I really do miss it. And how blessed I’ve been my entire life. And still am.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">Ever since I’ve been back I can’t stop thinking about home. I miss it.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">I miss my friends, my room, and my pre-college life.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Coming to Harding has been one of the most important decisions of my life.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">And not only important, but the greatest decision I’ve made (in terms of my future-wise) up to this point.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">It’s everything I hoped it would be. And more. And less.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Friends have already come in and gone out, club anxieties have begun, and the homesickness has started to set in.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Nothing is going wrong here, but at the same time I feel like not a whole lot is going right. Life feels different, school feels different, my friendships feel different, my church feels different.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">Life feels different.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">I miss my family.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">I miss my dog.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">I miss my best friend.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">I miss familiarity.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">But if I’ve learned one thing from college these past two weeks, I realized how dwelling on it will literally make a person depressed. And the way to fight this homesickness and nostalgic attitude is to do the very thing I want to do last. And that’s to leave my room and embrace this “different” that’s now my reality. And thank God for it. Even though it seems like a season of pruning and having to start again from the ground up.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">I HAVE to grow up into who I need to be.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Every day brings changes, changes, and changes.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">But one thing has stayed constant my entire time here: I am growing.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">I am changing. I am improving. I am learning.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">I’m learning how to be who I want to be, and learning the biggest lesson that I think I may ever learn in my life: that in order to be who I want to be, means being lonely sometimes.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">Which I have been.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">Not everyone sees things in the same light as me even here at Harding. Friendship here seems to not mean what it did between me and my friends in T-town. And that’s expected! I can’t expect friendships like I had back home when I’ve only known people here for 2 months. And that’s ok. Well, I’m trying to teach myself that it is. It’s ok if I feel like I’m the only one. It’s establishing me. It’s strengthening me.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">I am becoming more independent.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">I’m ok spending some time in-between classes in my room. The silence is good. The solitude is something to treasure. I think the lesson I’m learning right now, the lesson on reliance and learning a quiet spirit, is what I’ve needed most. More than covalent and ionic bonding in Chemistry. More than how to communicate more effectively in Speech. The humbling process of learning a quiet and compassionate spirit, hurts.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Because it means being quiet. And alone.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Not to get gushy here, but I have to give credit and thankfulness to my best friend. He’s responsible for a majority of the reason I’ve realized all of this and has helped me recognize that this is the kind of outlook I have to have to get over this bump in the road. He went through it himself his freshman year of college, and has spent many nights in conversation over it with me. He’s shown me how to look at it positively, comforted me, gotten my mind off of it when I need a break, and made me smile when I’m mid-sniffle as the tears pour down.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">He’s been a gift from God to me the past year and a half, but especially in this last month. I am comforted by the Word. I am comforted in learning about the promises and faithfulness of God in Bible class. But there’s something about the tangibility of a friend. The kind of comfort that comes from a voice I can hear and a face I can see.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">And I think the Lord has been using Alex to be His audible voice that God Himself has wanted to be for me. He’s been the Father’s voice in my worst nights.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">(By no means am I comparing him to God of course. What I mean is that the Lord has used him to talk to me, and to give me the type of comfort I’ve needed.)<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><o:p><br />
</o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">My beautiful and wonderful friend and mentor, <a href="http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=147801284">Lindsey Thrasher</a>, wrote on her blog a few days ago about the importance and refereshment that come with gratitude.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">(You can find her full post about it <a href="http://thrasheradoption.blogspot.com/2011/09/wake-me-up-with-gratitude.html">here</a>.)<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Here’s what she says about it:<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><blockquote><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">“Ann Voskamp's book One Thousand Gifts has truly been a God-send in my life. I feel like she let me in on a big secret...</span><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"> </span></o:p></blockquote><br />
<blockquote><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">"Gratitude always precedes the miracles."</span> </blockquote><blockquote><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">and</span> </blockquote><blockquote><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit; font-size: large;">"Thanks is what multiplies the joy and makes any life large."</span> </blockquote><blockquote><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">“Ungratefulness is what caused the fall of man... and a heart of true gratitude is what returns us to God Himself.”</span></span><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"> </span></o:p> </blockquote><blockquote><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">In the pages of this book, Ann beautifully describes a life that I long for…one that <i>sees</i>. That notices. That takes each moment and finds the beauty in it. To accept whatever God gives, because God is good no matter our circumstances. She deals with the ugly of life and wrestles with how to accept that <i>all </i>truly is grace.</span><o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;"> </span></o:p><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">She was given a challenge to write down 1000 things that she loves. And this challenge awakened her hurt, bruised, anxious self to the beauty and worship and confidence and healing each new day brings. That's what I want. I don't want to live another day in a blur. I want to see. To appreciate. To worship with my life."</span></blockquote><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 says, “Be cheerful no matter what; pray all the time; thank God no matter what happens. This is the way God wants you who belong to Christ Jesus to live.”<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">SO, to combat all of the bogging down on my spirit the Devil has been doing, to worship with my life, to see beauty in all things even in the blurry times, and to do what the Lord has put in His will for me to do, I’m going to create my own list. Not of 1,000 but of 100 things.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">100 things that I can say I am truly thankful for.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">1.) LAUGHTER.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">2.) the smell of my mother.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">3.) hugs from my Dad.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">4.) wobbly babies learning to walk.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">5.) sisters.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">6.) memories.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">7.) Savannah Hunt.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">8.) youth group inside jokes and adventures.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">9.) taking pictures.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">10.) surprise flowers.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">11.) Alex Aldridge and his faith.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">12.) when someone keeps a promise even when I had forgotten about it.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">13.) Min Min :)<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">14.) letters in the mail, even when the person could have just sent me a text.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">15.) acoustic guitars.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">16.) stars.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">17.) Impact 2008, 2009, 2010, and 2011.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">18.) Taco Casa :)<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">19.) summer love.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">20.) painting.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">21.) Lindsey Thrasher.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">22.) Chacos.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">23.) warm clothes just out of the dryer.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">24.) Rob Cain.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">25.) kayaking.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">26.) baby feet.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">27.) checking off the last thing on a to-do list.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">28.) Cheez-its.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">29.) the sound of a beating heart.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">30.) Diet Mountain Dew.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">31.) cooking out.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">32.) the warmth of a campfire.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">33.) Pinterest.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">34.) home videos.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">35.) baby hands running through my hair.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">36.) lazy days.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">37.) John Mayer.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">38.) sun hats.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">39.) homemade Chex Mix.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">40.) Amber Norris.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">41.) listening to life stories from older generations.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">42.) cowboy boots.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">43.) the cool breeze that comes right before Fall begins.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">44.) the sound of rain.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">45.) tailgating.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">46.) daisies.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">47.) love notes :)<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">48.) surprise dates.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">49.) clean baby smell.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">50.) kisses on the forehead.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">51.) pearl earrings.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">52.) the tears that come after a good laugh.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">53.) riding in the car with the windows down.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">54.) Lauren Gross.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">55.) Tara Northington.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">56.) cold sheets.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">57.) one shoulder dresses.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">58.) pinky promises.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">59.) sunrises and sunsets.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">60.) when I find a verse that feels as if it were written for me.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">61.) 3 up, 3 down :)<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">62.) Chocolate Oatmeal No-Bake cookies<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">63.) cassette tapes of Disney movies, reminding me of my childhood. <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">64.) being asked for advice.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">65.) baby yawns.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">66.) s’more cookouts.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">67.) curly hair.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">68.) big sweatshirts.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">69.) Cameron Hamner.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">70.) beach breeze.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">71.) memories from softball State tournaments.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">72.) deep conversations.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">73.) love.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">74.) Katie Hooper and her laugh that could brighten anyone’s day.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">75.) the hope that comes with the morning.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">76.) the purity of a child.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">77.) the feeling of being reunited with someone you miss.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">78.) sunflowers.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">79.) Leeland/Kari Jobe/DCB/JesusCulture.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">80.) fireplace fires in winter.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">81.) silly pictures.<br />
82.) the smell of sunscreen.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">83.) football.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">84.) Africa.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">85.) thrift store shopping.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">86.) white sun dresses.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">87.) when Mags asks me for a hug.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">88.) Christmas dinner with the whole family.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">89.) new beginnings.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">90.) Nutella.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">91.) a good nap.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">92.) meaningful prayer.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">93.) the warmth of Spring after a brutal winter.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">94.) seeing once insecure girls find their confidence.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">95.) listening to different languages.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">96.) the feeling my heart has after its rung out from worship.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">97.) giving a baby a bottle.<br />
98.) hot dog parties at Sazy’s.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">99.) the smells around my house at Christmas time.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">100.) the forgiving, ageless, unchangeable love of God.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Yes, I miss my family. Yes, I miss my friends. But why spend my time and waste the minutes of my day thinking about what’s wrong when there are hundreds and even thousands of things to be thankful for? The very fact alone that God decided to extend the world’s existence just one more day and chooses to romance me throughout the day should keep me joyful and my attitude full of praise. He sings to me through the birds and He touches me through the breeze that I feel on my way to class.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Starting today I choose to be thankful.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">And when I feel wrung dry, I will be thankful.<o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal">And when I find the circle of people that share the same hopes and dreams that I’ve been wanting to find so badly, I will be thankful.<o:p></o:p></div>Holly Sullivan Jarchowhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16363157548552109883noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5117010090277886582.post-35220702280888057972011-08-27T11:37:00.000-07:002011-09-14T22:17:13.265-07:00The joy of the Lord is my strength.<div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small;">God is our refuge and strength, always ready to help in times of trouble. So we will not fear, even if earthquakes come and the mountains crumble into the sea. Let the oceans roar and foam. Let the mountains tremble as the waters surge!...The LORD Almighty is here among us; the God is Israel is our fortress.</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit; font-size: x-small;">-Psalm 46:1-3, 11.</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div>Woooow.<br />
Wow wow wow.<br />
Wow.<br />
<br />
My first week of college is officially completed! And MAN am I in need of some serious sleep. This week has been SO crazy, and awesome, and stressful, and exciting, and frustrating, and full of joy!<br />
I am SO SO SO pleased with my choice of coming here.<br />
All it took was a week for my mind to have the reassurance I needed. It really is great to be at Harding.<br />
<br />
So Thursday I woke up and we left about 7 o'clock in order to get to Searcy and move in by the time Impact began full-swing. After 5 hours of driving I started to get SUPER sleepy, so my dad had to finish the trip for me. It was such a strange feeling pulling into the campus, no longer a visitor, but as a student!<br />
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I got all of my things into my room super easily thanks to the football players, and began to unpack right away. It was super surreal and scary. I was unpacking my things to stay! It's not just camp or a retreat anymore, it's my life now! And actually moving myself in to live in that reality for the next 4 years is a weird, weird thing. Thinking about home and the fact that when I go back it will only be to visit. I don't officially LIVE at my house anymore! Whenever I go, it'll only be to visit. This is considered my home now!<br />
<br />
I finished unpacking and hung out with my family and with my roommate and suite-mate. The energy on campus made the day go a lot smoother than I was expecting. Seeing everybody else excited about being at Harding took my mind off of the worry and made it focus on the positive. And there IS so much positive to focus on here!<br />
My mom came Friday night with my clothes, and I finished moving everything in. The first night wasn't scary at all! It just felt like a sleepover or something! I didn't feel like everything was permanent. And to be honest it still doesn't!<br />
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Our room is black and white with turquoise, and it is super super cute! :)<br />
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All the pictures make it feel like all my friends are with me! :)<br />
<br />
The first night my roommate, <a href="http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=538332063">Bridget</a>, suite-mate, <a href="http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1030530196">Ashley</a>, and I just hung out in the dorms because we were so tired from the day! But from the next morning on it was going going going.<br />
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The freshmen move in over the weekend, so Harding has an event called "Impact" just to get us involved and friendly with new people! Dinners, functions, energy groups, bands, and meet and greets. So much fun stuff to do, you really couldn't do it all! I was really nervous, because it is not in my personality to step out of my comfort zone and put myself out on a limb, hoping the person I'm talking to is friendly back. So the first two days were NOT fun. I just felt so out of place and homesick. Saturday morning my parents left, and that was hard. Saying goodbye to my Dad, Mom, Mags, and Alex was almost too much. Knowing it was the end of the road for us as the family I've always known, and the beginning of me discovering myself and learning how to make this college thing work.<br />
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The weather. Oh the weather. It feels like 95 with humidity that makes it seem 105. My hair never ever curls up in humidity, but the first few days have made my hair wave! It's insane! And we aren't allowed to wear shorts to class, so it's been jeans for me all week! No fun!<br />
<br />
Then Saturday night we had a function called "The White Party" for dinner. Our freshman theme is "So Fresh and So Clean", so they threw us a "fresh and clean" dinner to end Impact. I met up with some girls that Lindsey had interned for before, and we went to it! It was so cool seeing all the white! So we're standing in line talking, and I asked these two girls behind us to take mine and the girls I was standing with's picture. She did and we started talking and they were the sweetest girls in the world! And actually we're all best friends now! <a href="http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=680659881">Brittany</a> and <a href="http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=706035508">Paige</a> are so outgoing and precious, and they have most definitely turned my time at Harding around! I was worried about how things would go (which is a bad idea because God always seems to make me feel silly for it when He provides later), but since I've hung out with them, meeting (literally) more people than I could count, I've had such a blast and my anxiety is completely gone. We just laugh and laugh and laugh together, and that's exactly what I needed.<br />
<br />
Sunday night me, a couple other girls, and Brittany and Paige sat out in the hall and were just talking, and we decided to have a dance party! We danced to the Cha Cha Slide and the Cupid Shuffle. It was too funny. And eventually more girls came and joined us! So great.<br />
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<br />
So the weekend passed andddd we get to classes. All of my teachers are nice! My favorite is absolutely my Speech teacher, Dr. Frye. He is so so funny and cracks up at himself! And you can tell he has so much wisdom and insight to share.<br />
<br />
What surprised me the most about classes is how much READING we have to do! Three of my teachers' assignment on the first day was to read chapter one. Now a chapter doesn't sound too bad, but when you've got THREE to read, and psychology's first chapter is 30 pages, that's a lot! Especially when there are a ton of friends you would much rather hang out with!<br />
<br />
Note to self: time balance=killer priority in college.<br />
<br />
I've only had one quiz so far, and it was in Bible.<br />
I love my Bible class. Every day we sing a hymn before we get started, and then we just listen to Mr. Cloer lecture. It sounds boring, but it's actually interesting. It's so cool learning about the church and the traditions of old. It truly is such a blessing to be able to go to a school that can actually teach me the most important lessons of life.<br />
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So the classes haven't been TOO bad, it's just the assignments that kick my booty!<br />
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Thursday night we had a drive-in movie on the front lawn to Space Jam, which I've never seen, but one of my friends texted me and told me there was something called "Racquetball Devo" going on at 9. So Paige, Brittany, and I left and went to it! IT. WAS. INCREDIBLE. A ton of us crammed into this little racquetball room and just sang and sang and sang. The echo was so beautiful. I couldn't help but think that if THIS sounded so amazing, I can't wait to hear the chorus in Heaven. Because it really did blow me away. I videoed probably 5 songs, but here's just one to give you an idea.<br />
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</div><iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/xG4tengcnxo?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe><br />
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Amazing, right? And it was lead by students! No lesson. No devotional thought. Just singing.<br />
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College has been such an amazing time so far. With the Sonic and Wal-mart runs, deep conversations with my guy and girl friends about spiritual things, laughing, taking fun pictures, and meeting so many incredible people. And there <b>are</b> SO many incredible people here. <b>Everyone</b> is so nice and friendly. I've made SO many friends and it's only been a week! I whole-heartedly love Harding and have yet to feel sad away from home! I think it's just because I'm so busy, my mind hasn't had time to wander and dwell on what I'm missing, but I would much rather it be that way instead of missing them all the time!<br />
<br />
Well! I think that's about it for my first week! I'm so so excited to be here! I'm just really going to have to buckle down and study a lot. Speaking of, I've had a lot of hesitation in my mind come up about my major. I'm only in Chem 114, and I'm already kind of struggling with keeping up since it all moves so fast. There are a lot of concepts that I'm not understanding, and we have to rush through them to complete the lesson for the day since there's so much. And it's the easiest science class I'm ever going to have! I don't know. Maybe it's a way the Holy Spirit is communicating to me early that I'm going to need <b>His</b> strength for college to be successful. For my career hopes to be successful. Maybe I just need to tough it out and find myself on my knees for a couple weeks before I seriously consider changing. But until I know, the joy God has given me this week will be my strength!<br />
<br />
Until next time!<br />
<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">P.S. IT'S GREAT TO BE AT HARDING!</span>Holly Sullivan Jarchowhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16363157548552109883noreply@blogger.com2